Making Room for Her: Biblical Wisdom for a Healthier Relationship with Your Mother-In-Law or Daughter-In-Law

by Barbara Reaoch, Stacy Reaoch

Overview

Maybe you’re a bride-to-be who is about to gain a mother-in-law. Or perhaps you’re a mother-of-the-groom who is about to gain a daughter-in-law. Or maybe you’ve been in an in-law relationship for decades, one that’s been struggling in painful tension for years. No matter your age or stage, every daughter-in-law and mother-in-law needs help navigating their relationship sometimes.
 
Whether the struggle is one of feeling unseen, unheard, or unvalued, authors and in-laws Barbara and Stacy Reaoch have been there, and as they’ve put the Bible’s wisdom to practice over the years, they’ve found that the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law really can thrive in the midst of difficulty.
 
In this biblical, practical, and heartfelt book, Barbara and Stacy Reaoch share from their own 20 years of forming a mother-in-law/daughter-in-law bond. As you walk alongside them in their own journey and lessons learned, prepare to be encouraged and equipped in these areas:

• Expectations
• Conflict
• Suffering
• Communication
• Parenting
• And more

With the Bible as your foundation and this book as a helpful companion in the journey, take heart: a healthier relationship with your mother-in-law or daughter-in-law is closer than you think!
 

Product Details

ISBN-13:	9781087746395
Publisher:	B&H Publishing Group
Publication date:	02/08/2022
Sold by:	Barnes & Noble
Format:	eBook
Pages:	208
File size:	2 MB

About the Author

Stacy Reaoch is a pastor’s wife, mother of four, and the author of Wilderness Wanderings: Finding Contentment in the Desert Times of Life. She has written for various ministries including Desiring God, The Gospel Coalition, and Revive Our Hearts. Stacy and her husband, Ben, live in Pittsburgh, PA, with their children.
 
Barbara Reaoch, author of A Better Than Anything Christmas (2020), is the former Director of the Children’s Division at Bible Study Fellowship International. Home is in Minneapolis, Minnesota, with her husband Ron. You can connect with her at www.barbarareaoch.com and peruse her previous books.
 

Table of Contents

Introduction 1

Chapter 1 First Impressions 5

How Our Past Shapes the Present

Chapter 2 Biblical Hope for the Relationship 19

The Story of Ruth and Naomi

Chapter 3 Leave and Cleave 35

How Marriage Redefines Relationships

Chapter 4 Expectations 59

Everyone Has a Dream

Chapter 5 Communicating Well 79

Building Your Relationship One Step at a Time

Chapter 6 Conflict 101

Making Peace like Christ

Chapter 7 A New Generation 119

How a Mother-in-Law Can Come Alongside Her Daughter-in-Law

Chapter 8 Faithful Expressions 143

Appreciating Each Other's Relationship with God

Chapter 9 Suffering Together 157

Supporting Each Other in the Midst of Pain

Chapter 10 Going Forward in Love 175

Choosing to Love Despite the Cost

Notes 191

Editorial Reviews

“How many in-law relationships suffer from hurt and unmet expectations? Barbara and Stacy Reaoch have not only shed light on the hard issues, but they have also nailed both the spiritual and practical paths toward a God-glorifying mother-in-law/daughter-in-law relationship. A combination of thought-provoking questions and gospel-driven counsel and hope will encourage every mother-in-law and daughter-in-law in loving connections that will help them, as it has helped me. Thank you, Barbara and Stacy, for writing this book that will impact many families for good.”
 
 —Susie Rowan, Retired Executive Director/CEO Bible Study Fellowship
 
It takes courage and compassion to write about in-law relationships, and Stacy and Barbara Reaoch have managed to demonstrate both. As a daughter-in-law and the mother of three teenage boys, I read Making Room for Her hoping to gain wisdom for both sides of the in-law relationship. I was not disappointed. Stacy and Barbara have provided a biblical framework, practical help, and—perhaps best of all—real-life in-law stories. This book helped me to see that my own story is just one of the many family stories that God can use for his glory and our good; it helped me to understand my own mother-in-law’s situation better; and it helped me to anticipate the ways I may be able to serve any future daughters-in-law.
 —Megan Hill, author, editor at The Gospel Coalition, pastors’ wife, mother
 
“She. Her. Sometimes it’s too awkward, too strained, too painful to even say her name. Your mother-in-law. Or, your daughter-in-law. How can two women who love the same man have such problems? Well, because they love the same man. I suspect no in-law pairing is as often weighed down with frustrations and griefs as this one. Let Stacy and Barbara help you come humbly before Jesus in this trickiest of all in-law dynamics. Stacy and Barbara both have found grace in the balm of Christ, and share from their own hurts and disappointments, and from their healing and hope, for MILs and DILs alike.”
 
–David Mathis, senior teacher, desiringGod.org; author of Habits of Grace: Enjoying Jesus through the Spiritual Disciplines
 
We have never seen a book on the mother-in-law and daughter -in-law relationship, but this book is a must read for that relationship, and honestly, it applies to many other relationships as well.  The book is stocked with practical wisdom rooted in the Scriptures, and that wisdom is both convicting and encouraging. The Reaochs remind us repeatedly that we are called to love, and that love is forged in the anvil of close relationships, especially family relationships. This book isn't a moralistic call to virtue but is bathed in the gospel since the authors return often to the truth of the gospel, the truth that our righteousness isn't in ourselves but in Jesus Christ crucified and risen. The Reaochs teach us that the Lord can give joy in hard relationships and that there is always room for growth in love, which propels us to rely on the grace of God every day.
 
 —Tom and Diane Schreiner,
Thomas R. Schreiner is Associate Dean and James Buchanan Harrison Professor of New Testament Interpretation at The Southern Baptist Theological Seminary
 
“We serve a loving, creative Master Artist who paints his story—his life-transforming gospel of redemption—on many different canvases. So we can expect, as Stacy and Barbara do so beautifully in Making Room for Her, that he will use the mother-in-law/daughter-in-law “canvas” to display more of himself. And isn’t that the hope we need as we seek to love one another as he has first loved us? I look forward to recommending this rich and practical book to many women.”
 —Kristen Wetherell, wife, DIL, and author of Humble Moms
 
  “If you've ever left a holiday gathering miffed that your traditions were ignored or changed . . .
If you've ever felt like a stranger sitting at a dining room table filled with familiar faces . . .
If you've ever looked at your husband and said "Your mom is so frustrating!" . . .
If you've ever felt like you were going to scream when your in-laws handed out parenting advice
Making Room for Her is for you. All relationships are complex. In-law relationships can be especially so. In a tone that is equal parts wise and understanding, Mother-in-law/Daughter-in-law authors Barbara and Stacy Reoach don't sugar coat the challenges of merging a family but they quickly point you to God's Word which offers hope and practical guidance for even our most complex relationships.”
 —Erin Davis, writer and Bible teacher
 
 
Most pre-marital counseling materials don’t offer a lot of preparation for navigating future in-law relationships. But they should, as our in-laws become a huge part of our lives after we say “I do.” Barbara and Stacy Reaoch fill this void with Making Room For Her. As I read, I thought of countless women—myself included!—who would benefit from each chapter. For any new bride or mother-in-law who wants to get this relationship right, this is a must read. The stories, biblical grounding, and years of wisdom in these pages will serve both in-laws well.
 
 —Jen Oshman, women’s ministry director, church planter’s wife, podcaster, and author of Enough about Me and Cultural Counterfeits
 
 
As a young wife in a new season of life, I read Making Room for Her at the perfect time. This book is filled to the brim with biblical wisdom, stories of hope, and a message of grace that will deeply encourage the mothers- and daughters-in-law who read it. I'm grateful for all that Stacy and Barbara have so thoughtfully and humbly shared and am excited to see its impact in my own in-law relationship. 
 
 —Jaquelle Crowe Ferris, author of This Changes Everything and Age of Minority podcaster
 
“Do you have a mother-in-law or daughter-in-law? Will you be one someday? Making Room for Her is a true gift to women who must navigate the often-tenuous relationships between mothers-in-law and daughters-in-law. Through Biblical wisdom and personal lived experience, Barbara and Stacy Reaoch share how in-law relationships can flourish when communication and conflict are approached with kindness, consideration, and love. In-law relationships don’t have to be sources of hurt when we make room for one another. This book will be a blessing to every bride and every mother of the groom!”
 
 —Glenna Marshall, author of The Promise is His Presence and Everyday Faithfulness
 

From the Publisher