The Man in the Mirror: Solving the 24 Problems Men Face

The Man in the Mirror: Solving the 24 Problems Men Face


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The Man in the Mirror has established itself as a cornerstone in men's literature since its 1989 release. Winner of the prestigious Gold Medallion Award and appearing on the bestseller list eighteen times, it has helped thousands of men understand the person who stares back at them from the glass each morning and know what to do about his twenty-four most difficult problems. Written by a foremost Christian men's leader, this powerful book invites men to take a probing look at their identities, relationships, finances, time, temperament, and most important, the means to bring about lasting change. If life's demands are constantly pressuring you to run faster and jump higher, this book is for you. Rich in anecdotes, thought-provoking questions, biblical insights, and featuring focus questions in each chapter suitable for personal or group use, The Man in the Mirror offers a penetrating, pragmatic, and life-changing look at how to trade the rat race for the rewards of godly manhood.

Product Details

ISBN-13: 9780310331759
Publisher: Zondervan
Publication date: 10/07/2014
Edition description: Revised
Pages: 400
Sales rank: 55,799
Product dimensions: 5.40(w) x 8.10(h) x 1.20(d)
Age Range: 18 Years

About the Author

Patrick Morley ( is a business leader, speaker, and the bestselling author of twenty-one books, including The Man in the Mirror, Ten Secrets for the Man in the Mirror, The Seven Seasons of the Man in the Mirror, and Devotions for the Man in the Mirror. He lives with his wife in Orlando, Florida.

Read an Excerpt


Mirror, Mirror on the Wall; Who's the fairest of them all?

What greater vanity can be expressed than that of the wicked witch in Snow White? The witch was obsessed with the desire to be the most beautiful woman in the land. She loved her mirror. She spoke to it with terms of endearment . . . until one day the mirror gave her an answer, and she didn't know which she hated more, Snow White or the mirror that refused to lie.

If a dog is a man's best friend, perhaps his worst enemy is his mirror. Well, maybe his mirror isn't really his worst enemy; it merely reflects the image of his most formidable opponent. What opponent is more dangerous than the one who knows our deepest, darkest secrets? What opponent is more lethal than the one who can probe our most vulnerable points?

The man in the mirror is me. Ouch! I suppose I should have said, "The man in the mirror is I." But "I" or "me," the message is the same. What I see in the mirror is what I get, like it or not. My mirror won't lie to me either.

Mirrors are marvelous contraptions. Since Narcissus fell in love with his own image while gazing at his reflection in a pond, the human race has been fascinated by mirrors. Mirrors are the friends of magicians, the enemies of aging movie stars. We have round mirrors and square mirrors; big mirrors and compact mirrors; bathroom mirrors and rearview mirrors.

The mirror was tiny Alice's magical vehicle through which she could pass into a land of enchantment. The mirror was the symbol for the Apostle Paul of our dim understanding of the mysterious things of God:

We see through a glass darkly; but then face-to-face. Now I know in part; then shall I know fully, even as I am fully known (1 Corinthians 13: 12).

I am a Weight-Watcher, a "Lifetime Member." At a recent meeting, a fellow member finally arrived at his goal-weight after shedding sixty pounds of fat. The group leader asked him to relate how he felt after his accomplishment. He replied:

"Now, I am no longer embarrassed to look in store windows. I used to avoid glancing at the store windows as I walked down the street. Every time I looked in a window, instead of seeing the merchandise displayed inside, all I could see was the reflection of my obese body. I stopped looking. Now, after reaching my goal-weight I enjoy looking in store windows again."

What do you see when you look in the mirror? I have a large stand-up mirror in my bedroom. I can't imagine why I ever parted with my hard-earned money to purchase such a loathsome thing. I use it for golf. That's right. In the privacy of my bedchamber I swing a golf club and check my positions in the mirror. One thing is certain: It doesn't look like Jack Nicklaus in there.

The doggone mirror is insensitive. In fact, it's downright brutal. It shows me every wart, every bump in my shirt (bottom-first), and every blemish.

Now Pat Morley comes along and wants a mirror that can reflect the soul. Fortunately for me and for those who read this book, Morley's mirror is gentle and kind. It tells the truth, which is scary enough, but it does it with encouragement and wisdom.

Several years ago I wrote a biography of a man's life. Two things stick in my mind from the experience of writing that book. The first is that I discovered from probing the details of another man's life that any human life is a profound study in fascination. The unique experiences of any individual's life are genuine fodder for a gripping novel.

The second thing I discovered was this: I found myself wondering in a fit of egomania if anyone would ever be inclined to write a biography of my life. I decided that such an idea was sheer fantasy. I was convinced it would never happen.

I was astonished to discover that someone actually did undertake to write my biography. It was Pat Morley. The title of my biography is The Man in the Mirror. The irony is that Morley didn't even know he was writing my life story. You may be equally astonished to discover that it is your biography as well. It amazes me that Morley can write so many biographies all in one book.

I am a teacher. I am in the knowledge business. The Bible warns us that knowledge can "puff up," whereas love "builds up." Yet, at the same time, the Bible exhorts us to seek knowledge. Such knowledge, however, is not to be sought as an end in itself. My Bible says:

Wisdom is the principal thing; therefore get wisdom. And in all your getting get understanding (Proverbs 4: 7).

The goal of knowledge is wisdom. The goal of wisdom is to lead a life that is pleasing to God. This book is a book that contains uncommon wisdom. It is stirring, disturbing, and abundantly encouraging all at the same time.

The Man in the Mirror is a book written by a man's man. It is a book written by a man, for men. While I was reading this book, the thought kept occurring to me, "I can't wait for my wife, Vesta, to read this book." Vesta is a voracious reader. She reads more than I do. I get my best tips on what to read next from her (even with books of theology).

I want my wife to read this book, not because I think she needs to read this book. I'm the one who needed to read it. I want my wife to read this book because I know my wife will be thrilled to read it.

One last tip for you. If someone gives you this book or if you buy it yourself, be sure to read it. If you don't read it, by all means destroy it before your wife gets hold of it. If the unthinkable happens, if you don't read it, and your wife does, then my dear brother, you are in deep weeds.

R. C. Sproul

Orlando, Florida

Table of Contents

Part One: Solving Our Identity Problems
1. The Rat Race
2. Leading an Unexamined Life
3. Biblical Christian or Cultural Christian?
4. Significance: The Search for Meaning and Purpose
5. Purpose: Why Do I Exist?
6. The Secret of Job Contentment
Part Two: Solving Our Relationship Problems
7. Broken Relationships
8. Children: How to Avoid Regrets
9. Wives: How to Be Happily Married
10 Friends: Risks and Rewards
Part Three: Solving Our Money Problems
11. Money: A Biblical Point of View
12. The Four Pillars of Financial Strength
Part Four: Solving Our Time Problems
13. Decisions: How to Make the Right Choice
14. Priorities: How to Decide What’s Important
15. Time Management: Doing God’s Will
Part Five: Solving Our Temperament Problems
16. Pride
17. Fear
18. Anger
19. The Desire to Be Independent
20. Avoiding Suffering
Part Six: Solving Our Integrity Problems
21. Integrity: What’s the Price?
22. Leading a Secret Thought Life
23. Accountability: The Missing Link
Part Seven: Conclusion
24. How Can a Man Change?
Discussion Leader’s Guide
About the Author

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Man in the Mirror 4.9 out of 5 based on 0 ratings. 14 reviews.
Guest More than 1 year ago
This is an execellent book for men who are seeking what they should really be in their Christian life. It helps you really think about who you are and what we're really about. It's filled with scripture and challenges you to think. The questions at the end of each chapter really draw upon biblical perspectives and you can get individual answers. Read it and be different!
Guest More than 1 year ago
This book is excellent on every level. Not only is it a great book for men to read and ponder, but also one to be shared with wives and girlfriends. The Man in the Mirror will strip you down to the lowest level of your being and reshape your thinking so that you may live a better life. Whether it's Fear, Integrity, Anger, Faith, Relationships, etc., this book will provide solutions to 24 major challenges men face. Buy more than one copy to share with the important men 'and women' in your life. If you are a man of God, this book is for you. If you are not a man of God, buy it anyway and see what happens....
Guest More than 1 year ago
This book, though rich in detail, advice and motivation, has one simple premise: You are responsbile for you. By building on that foundation the author provides a powerfully motivational book that leaves one with a passion for living.
Guest More than 1 year ago
I am neither a father nor husband and know I was exposed to a great deal of scripturally sound information as to how I may glorify God in those callings. I particularly benefitted from his chapters on marriage and his approach to explaining the non-emotional, agape side of love as well as the examples he used to illustrate how it should be executed. Also, his chapters on time-management/prioritizing and integrity provided me with great insights. All of his points are supported by scripture, yet the book flows easily, for he doesn't merely reference to the Bible but rather includes it in the text. I highly recommend this book for the man who either thinks he doesn't have it all together or the one who isn't a Christian.
Guest More than 1 year ago
This book sets the context for the American family man, an invaluable resource for anyone who wishes to look at himself and his own place in the world with greater clarity. After all, who HAS ever won the rat race?
Guest More than 1 year ago
Once you start this book, you may not put it down until you've finished reading and even then it's a great life reference when used in conjunction with the BIBLE. Most men and some women should read this before problems get unmanageable.
Guest More than 1 year ago
Patrick Morley brings us this update of his 'wake-up call for men.' It is a clearly a 'must read' for Christian men today, most of whom, like myself, have allowed themselves/ourselves (and more importantly, our thinking and our behavior) to be deeply influenced and molded by the media's promotion (and most men's adoption) of the dominant social, economic, and cultural philosophies of this age: consumerism, materialism, and increased affluence. Many (most?) Christian wives, who are similarly 'hooked,' would also benefit from reading it. Get this book, and allow God to 'restore' and 'reshape' you, your thinking, and your behavior, through Patrick Morley's writing.
lorabelle2 More than 1 year ago
I felt it was inspiring and straight forward. I have to finish it, but so far i like it. By husband is the one who asked me to read it because it helped him realize some things.
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Guest More than 1 year ago
good book
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