Divorce Wisely is the comprehensive guide for anyone contemplating divorce or currently divorcing. Easy to read, this book will assist you in evaluating whether your marriage may be headed toward divorce. It also provides the information you need to navigate the legal, financial, emotional, and personal growth aspects of divorce. It answers all the scary questions that keep you up at night: What will happen to my kids? What’s the process like and what can I expect? How do I find a divorce attorney? What are the basic legal principles I must know? How do I move beyond being an emotional train wreck? How do I pay for a divorce? Why am I going through this and what’s to be learned? Plus much, much more.
Divorce Wisely is a compass. Whether you are in the middle of divorce, or are just contemplating the prospect, this book will help you find your way. Written by a compassionate divorce attorney, Divorce Wisely will empower you with the resources you need to make the best decisions for you and your family.
|Publisher:||Suzanne E. Grandchamp, P.A.|
|Product dimensions:||8.90(w) x 6.00(h) x 0.60(d)|
About the Author
Suzanne's personal mission is to successfully lead clients through one of life's most challenging transitions - divorce - with compassion, comprehensive education, effective, practical legal advice, and assertive representation.
Suzanne is a graduate of William Mitchell College of Law and the University of Minnesota. She is admitted to practice in the State of Minnesota, the U.S. District Court - Minnesota, the Eighth Circuit and the United States Supreme Court. Suzanne is also a licensed commercial pilot, flight instructor, and worked previously as a corporate pilot.
Outside of the office, Suzanne enjoys hiking in the mountains with her dog, Scout, trying out various curry recipes (and testing them on her friends), horseback riding, and laughing so hard that she snorts.
Table of ContentsContents
Preface . . . xi
Introduction . . . 1
Chapter 1 Are You Headed for Divorce? . . . 5
Addressing the State of the Union
Should I Stay or Should I Go?
How Do You See Your Partner and Your Marriage?
Is There Willingness to Work on the Marriage?
Chapter 2 Divorce 101: Processes and General Information . . . 13
Is Divorce the Only Option Available?
Whose Fault Is It Anyway? Fault versus No-Fault
Divorce Made Easier: Three General Rules to Play By
What Does the Divorce Process Look Like?
Who Chooses the Process and How Does the Process Begin?
What are the Summons and Petition?
Service of Process
Discovery: Getting Information Formally or Informally
What Would Love Do?
Having the Hard Conversation
Chapter 3 Hiring a (Good) Family Law Attorney . . . 47
Do I Need an Attorney?
What if I Cannot Afford an Attorney?
How Do I Find a Good Attorney?
How Do I Know if the Attorney Is a "Good One" and Right for Me?
How Do I Pay for an Attorney's Services?
Chapter 4 The Kids . . . 67
Are My Kids Going to Be Okay if We Get Divorced?
When and How to Tell the Kids
What to Tell the Kids
Support and Nurture Your Children's Relationship with the Other Parent
Do Not Put Your Kids in the Middle
When Does the Child Get to Decide?
Chapter 5 The Legal Divorce . . . 75
Divorce Laws Vary by State
The Three S's of Divorce
First S: Schedules
Second S: Support
Third S: Stuff
Chapter 6 The Emotional Divorce . . . 113
The Physiology of Emotions
Navigating the Pain
The Research on Gratitude
It's a Process: The Five Stages of Grief
Taking Blame out of the Equation
Keeping Your Emotional Balance during the Process of Divorce
Controlling the Controllable
Fighting as the Last Form of Intimacy
Chapter 7 The Financial Divorce . . . 135
I'm Scared! I'm Not Familiar with Our Finances!
Knowledge (and Compiling Information!) is Power
Make Timely Payments and Keep Bills Current
What to Do with Joint Bank Accounts and Joint Credit Cards
Not All Assets Are Created Equal!
Basic Financial Management
Today Isn't Tomorrow: Cultivating and Planning for New Financial Dreams
Chapter 8 It's Over! Now What? . . . 149
Chapter 9 Divorce as an Opportunity for Growth and Transformation . . . 159
Reclaiming Your Personal Power and Creating Life Anew
Dreaming New Dreams and Navigating Your Way to Them
Adult Attachment Theory: Knowing the Science Behind Attraction
How to Effectively Love and Feel Loved in a New Relationship:
The Five Love Languages
Trusting Again After Divorce
Acknowledgments . . . 179
Appendix A Participation Agreement . . . 181
Appendix B Roadmap to Resolution . . . 199
Appendix C Erik Erikson's Developmental Stages . . . 201
Appendix D Balance Sheet . . . 203
Appendix E Cycle of Domestic Abuse . . . 205
Appendix F Budget Form . . . 207
Notes . . . 213
References . . . 215
What People are Saying About This
"Marriages End. Families Don't. Divorce Wisely. is a guidebook that is packed full of relationship information that might prevent divorce in the first place. But if your marriage is meant to end, you'll find hope, advice, and clarity here." --Christiane Northrup, M.D., ob/gyn physician and author of the New York Times bestsellers: Goddesses Never Age: The Secret Prescription for Radiance, Vitality, and Wellbeing, Women's Bodies, Women's Wisdom, and The Wisdom of Menopause
"Divorce wisely is a thoughtful and helpful book that demonstrates the author's years of valuable experience. Full of psychological as well as practical insight, it will serve as a guide through a difficult and painful time." --Frederic Luskin, Ph.D., world leader in research, teaching, and writing regarding forgiveness, director of the Stanford Forgiveness Projects, Senior Consultant at Stanford, and Professor at the Institute of Transpersonal Psychology.
"[Divorce Wisely] is written with clarity and precision that will help many readers understand the choices that lie ahead of them.... I doubt there are better words of wisdom on making important decisions, yet I don't know of any divorce author who has been so clear on this point.
Divorce Wisely is a powerful contribution to the people who face this difficult journey and I hope it finds its way into the hands of many people." --Ron Ousky, leading Collaborative Law attorney in the US and co-author of "The Collaborative Way to Divorce"
“In Divorce Wisely, Suzanne Grandchamp offers an evolutionary approach to consciously, respectfully, and kindly uncoupling. If you or someone you love is considering divorcing or breaking up, give them the gift of this book." --Michael Bernard Beckwith, author of “Spiritual Liberation” and “Life Visioning”
Most Helpful Customer Reviews
I am a family law attorney who has helped many clients through the divorce process. I found Divorce Wisely to be of high quality, written in a clear and easy to understand manner, and to touch on virtually every aspect of divorce - leaving you feel more confident and less anxious about what to expect. This book is perfect for anyone leading a busy life who needs an overall feel for what he or she will encounter when going through the divorce process. A great read!
As a family law legal assistant, this is the book I recommend to any friend or family member in need. It covers a ton of information without being overwhelming and all of the options are laid out plainly for each stage or decision of the divorce process (even the decision NOT to get divorced is included!). The book includes extra stuff, like tips on how to keep attorney costs down, grief as a part of divorce, and creating new dreams and goals. The author takes a straight-forward approach with all of the weighty details of divorce. But, by using clear language and an occasional light remark, she also manages to make the situation feel less burdensome. You can certainly read this book cover to cover, but it is also a good reference tool. It would be great to have on hand when you have a question about a specific topic – say child support – and would provide much more useful information than a random internet search would! You’d likely come to find the information you need faster too. If it was 2:00 a.m. and you had a burning question that couldn’t wait for your attorney the next day, it’d be easier to open a book up to a specific page than start an hour-long search on the internet for a reliable source that also adequately answers your question. I’d highly recommend this to anyone divorcing, considering divorce, and who has finished the process, because many of the same principles included in this book apply to post-decree issues as well.