THE CONCEPT: "In the pursuit of economic survival, bodily sustenance and social acceptance, people often (1) disregard their passion in order to focus on a practical career, (2) allow their diet to undermine their health, and (3) deny their sexual and gender wiring in order to conform to societal concepts of relationship. Therein lies the majority of unhappiness in our modern life." The solution is to live the integrated life! Take the Integrated Life™ online test at www.integratedlifetest.com and discover how integrated these areas of your life are! Then, read the book to learn what to do about it!
I wrote this book because my girlfriend said I should teach a course on how to satisfy a woman!
Now, I accept the possibility that those words may have been your standard boost-your-man's-ego-in-bed pillow talk that every man (hopefully) hears at some point. However, being the literalist I am, I took her suggestion to heart and asked her to explain why she thought it would be a good idea.
"Well," she said. "You have some very common sense ideas about men and women-how they interact, and how to maximize that interaction for intimacy and enjoyment of each other sexually and in other ways-that seem to have been overlooked/lost/not emphasized, even almost purposely squashed in our society today. Those ideas set off a physical chain reaction in me that made me feel more feminine, inspired me to express my femininity, awakened feminine desires, and as you experienced for yourself, put me in touch with what I wanted you to do to me to satisfy those desires.
"Plus, in listening to your outlook on male/female dynamics, I was left with a palpable sense of your masculinity and my femininity, and how much of a turn-on our differences in this arena are, and I just think other men and women could really stand to finally handle the truth!"
Cool! Well, thanks, for that, sweetie. Now, between you and me, I think she might be biased, but I wrote this book anyway, to share:
(1) a personal philosophy and belief system about relationships and sexuality,
(2) a concept of masculinity and femininity that works for me and my girlfriends,
(3) my personal compatibility and selection standards that keep me happy and get me the women I want,
(4) behavioral guidelines for my relationship that keep me guilt-free and living true to my self,
(5) private sex practices that keep me young, strong and virile, and make my girlfriends say the things they do,
(6) my positions on monogamy, marriage, gender roles, porn, kinks, fetishes, and biological wiring that allow me the freedom to love others honestly and, most importantly, to love true to my self! And all of this, is supported by:
(7) input and feedback from the women I date, through their actual conversations, interviews, emails and letters!
Now, once I started my research for this book, people asked me if I intended this to be a "how to" manual for men.
Well, I wouldn't be so presumptuous as to tell other men how they should live their lives. I'm simply offering my own thoughts, beliefs and practices as a first-hand overview of what works for me. These ideas and practices are simply one option-a choice that at least one other man (me) has made-for how to live and love. Now, should others wish to follow these ideas on a path of their own happiness, I won't sue!
So, while I won't go so far as to say that this is applicable to every man in society, I will say that these changes in my own living and loving were necessary because of what I observe and interpret as shortcomings, flaws, errors and outright lies in the belief system that informs the overall state of relationships in our society. Those observations led to a set of questions I had to answer for myself.