Read an Excerpt
Chapter 1: The Snob
What Makes a Girl a Snob?
You see her cruising with her gal pals in her brand new convertible, shopping at the most expensive stores, and getting away with murder at school. The slightest glace toward her in the halls can either make your day or ruin it, depending on her mood. Her hair is always perfect, her clothes just right. She dates the cutest guys and has all of the teachers wrapped around her finger. She has the best parties and the coolest friends. You've just encountered…The Snob. Dear Dr. Erika:
There's this girl in my class who thinks whenever she opens her big mouth everybody better shut up and listen. And at lunch she sits at the best table in the cafeteria, and woe! if you park there. She pitches a fit. She actually gets her way in everything. Even the teachers are scared of her and treat her different from the rest of us. Reina, 14
Dear Dr. Erika:
I dread my second period class. There's this girl who like brags about everything. When she makes a good grade, she acts like she's the smartest. When she has a birthday party, she goes like, There's never been another party like mine. When she blabs about her family, they're like sooo rich! And she cuts people and makes me feel like I'm dirt. Erica, 15
Sounds as if both Reina and Erica are dealing with a snob, sometimes called a spoiled brat, other times called a brag, or name-dropper.
A close cousin to The Snob is The Name Dropper. She's a girl who might not have been showered with gifts and doo-dads and tons of toys, but her family brought in famous folks or maybe she used to go to kindergarten with a President Kennedy relative or the child of a former neighbor of President Bush. So instead of getting the roots of her self-esteem from stuff, which Snob, Brat, and Brag did, the Name Dropper got hers from association with famous names.
So, instead of focusing on things they can do to better themselves, the Snob and her cousins focus on what they have-the latest Gucci bags, Dior dresses, or Manolo Blahnik boots, and measure what others have (or don't have) against their own possessions.
Don't be fooled by her exterior-it's very possible that stripped of her fancy clothes or her friends, The Snob has the same insecurities as everyone else. Even though she's sporting the latest Kate Spade bag or the hottest new haircut as she prances down the halls with her entourage, maybe she's worried about the fight she overheard her parents having the night before, or the history quiz third period.
If you go around judging other girls as beneath you all the time, you can't concentrate on what's most important--getting to be your personal best. Chaka, 15
If you're making yourself feel better by ignoring other girls on purpose, you obviously have not been feeling great. Annyce, 17
How true. The snob and her close cousins never seem to feel that great. Why else do they act the way they do?
Isn't it a shame that some girls feel so low they have to raise themselves up by making other girls feel low? Tierra, 18
Fact is, that no girl ever truly feels good inside when she's putting other girls down. Sure, she may get a rush of "superiority" but it's only temporary.
What you have got to do is look at yourself first and see what's wrong with you before you criticize other girls and look down on them. Flora, 15
Having trouble believing that The Snob could ever have problems? Let's take another look at Tierney.
Classes are over for the day. There's cheerleading practice and Tierney and her friends report to the gym, but in no hurry.
She's on the squad; most of her many friends are not, but Tierney knows that practice won't start until she shows up. That's just the way it has always been.
Afterward practice, the girls all pile into her beemer and grab a latte with skim milk at the Dairy Bar. Tierney drops her friends off one by one and heads home. As he pulls into her driveway, she can tell that no one's home by the absence of cars. Wow, for once she's all alone. Her girl buds will come over later, naturally, like they do every day. But for the moment the house is empty which is a weird feeling. She almost hates to go inside, but she does.
Tierney kicks the front door shut, drops her books on a table, hurries upstairs. She flops onto her bed for a moment, thinking about her day. What to do now? She strides into her walk-in closet that's crammed with the hottest clothes. Most everything has been worn only once. In one corner sits a pile of shopping bags from brand-name stores that she hasn't unpacked yet. Great: something to do.
As she hangs up the new jeans and sweaters, she runs her hand over them, hoping to feel better. For a moment she remembers how life used to be before her parents got divorced. They had time for her then. Mom wasn't gone all the time; Dad used to call her "his girl" and they would do stuff together. Now she sees him like twice a month. But hey, he just gave her another credit card, with no limit--
Tierney stops unpacking stuff and calls her best friends. "Before pizza here, why don't we all meet at the Nordstrom make-up counter?"
Tomorrow Tierney will come to school in yet another great outfit, her fiends surrounding her as they talk about what happened after they ate the pizza, giving other girls a "you don't count" stare.
Isn't the point of being popular to have friends? So why would you want to make enemies by acting like you're too good for other girls? It's senseless. Marie, 15
I felt I was not good enough for any of them. That's the way the other girls were treating me. Mandee, 15
While it's so common for girls to feel this way, try not to be fooled. The firefly is just an insect. Just know that the problem belongs to The Snob, not to you. Condemn her behavior. Not her.
Underneath, she not be so different from you-she may be a real nice girl just trying to emergeYet meanwhile you still have to suffer her actions. Or do you?