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My Journey to the Spiritual from the Occult
Balboa PressCopyright © 2016 Allean
All rights reserved.
"Judy, I almost murdered you!"
I glanced sideways at my sister Judy, who cringed at my remark and appeared stunned.
"What?" she responded with intense alarm.
"I came close to ending your life. Something snapped inside me. I felt I must destroy you before you destroyed me."
"Good God, Allean! What do you mean, destroy you? What did you think I would do to you? I was gripped by a terrible fear of you and what you might do to me ..."
We both emitted sighs of relief as the stress began to subside. Then we sat down at the kitchen table and began discussing our horrific experience. Suddenly, the dark, fearful, deadly threatening entities' oppression returned in full force and we agreed that recounting the episode was better left to the dawn of a new day. The kitchen clock revealed that the incident had taken place around midnight.
I longed to go to bed and feel the warm, protective arms of my husband Daniel around me, even if he embraced me only in his sleep.
Judy went into the hallway, opened the basement door and snapped her fingers to summon Oscar, our affectionate family pet, a black and rust-colored dachshund, to share our guest bedroom with her. Even though the dog was still drowsy, he would serve as her emotional guardian while sleeping at the foot of her bed.
As loving sisters, we hugged before retiring to our respective bedrooms. Thankfully, sleep followed promptly.
Rising early the next morning, I found Judy sitting at the kitchen table hunched over a cup of hot tea.
"Judy, you're up so early; that's not like you."
"I awoke with a start. My heart was racing wildly, remembering last night. Do you think we'll be able to discuss it now, Allean?"
"Let's try. We must try to figure out what happened. Maybe it would be a good idea to sit outside, away from the scene of action."
"Good idea, Sis."
Locked arm in arm, we walked out the kitchen door and into the backyard.
Two lawn chairs under the massive oak tree seemed to welcome us.
Intending to discuss our oppressive feelings from the night before, I began, "My suggestion to query the Ouija board for answers was not a good idea."
Judy nodded her head. "You're right. I'll never forget the frightful aura that filled the dining room and followed us into the living room."
"When we played the Ouija board in the park several weeks ago, I didn't feel that oppression. Maybe it was because we were out of doors and not enclosed in a small area," I replied ruefully.
"Probably so," Judy agreed. "Can you recall anything it told us at that time, Allean?"
"The only thing I remember it said was that Daniel and I would have a baby boy. After fifteen years of a childless marriage, that seemed unbelievable."
"Yes, that's almost impossible to believe. It's a wonder we queried it again."
"Probably because it's so interesting to see how the planchette moves across the board and actually spells out words."
"Last night, we didn't really have any pressing questions to ask. It was all foolishness, wasn't it?"
"Yes, but the responses it engendered weren't foolish and could have turned deadly."
A cool breeze wafted from the tree above and a chill followed. It caused me to shiver. I crossed my arms over my chest and grasped an upper arm in each hand. "Brrr," I said as my teeth began to chatter, more out of anxiety than from the chill.
Judy pointed out that we should probably rehash the experience and try to figure it out. "I'll begin" she said. "We were bored. Daniel had gone to bed early but we weren't tired. The TV schedule was monotonous, reading is a solitary activity and playing a game of two-handed cards lacked appeal. The Ouija board offered an escape from the humdrum ..."
"Yes," I agreed. "We're always seeking something new and exciting."
We nodded in unison.
"I'll recount the scene play by play," Judy offered. "We each took a dining room chair and placed it in the area adjoining the living room. Then we sat facing one another, knees touching and placed the Ouija board on our laps."
"Judy, I remember that you asked the first question. It was regarding the area in which you should seek an apartment now that you've moved back to St. Louis."
"Yes, it spelled out the word south."
"As we've both been interested in the stories of the lost continent of Atlantis, we asked if we had known one another during that time, as reincarnation is an intriguing topic."
"And it spelled out, 'Of course ...'"
"Then, we got foolish and I asked some trivial questions such as, 'What should I cook for dinner tomorrow?'"
"It seemed to resent our foolishness and responded in anger. Remember how the planchette raced across the board? It spelled out actual words and phrases that made no sense," Judy recalled.
"Yes Judy, the atmosphere was filled with incredible hostility. Realization of impending danger swept over me and I began to place the board on the table, but not before the planchette skidded off onto the rug under its own power."
"Right. Then, we stood up at the same time and headed for the sofa. I at one end, you at the other. The thing that amazes me is that we both knew the exact moment the apparition joined us, even though we couldn't actually see it and didn't comment on it. Simultaneously, when we stood and walked to the living room and sat down, it followed us. The physical presence of intense evil was overwhelming. It was a heavy, volcanic-type, black force that hovered over us at first and then resided between us on the sofa. Rage, hate, insanity and violence were some of the emotions it manifested and emitted. All the while it seemed to be laughing maniacally in an audible yet silent voice while creating incredible fear and generating waves of abhorrent thoughts into our minds and hearts, our very souls."
"Yes Judy, I remember picking up the afghan I was knitting while saying aloud 'knit one pearl two' over and over again in an eerie fashion."
"Allean, those knitting needles clicked at such a fast and furious rate; they almost seemed to be dueling."
"Suddenly, that murderous sensation occurred and it seemed as though I was being compelled to kill you, Judy."
Controlling my mind, I returned to the moment, not awaiting Judy's response. "Yes, as I performed knitting motions, it was as though I was being changed into Madame Defarge, that woman from the book, A Tale of Two Cities by Charles Dickens. In her knitting, she secretly encoded names of people who were to be executed. She continued to knit in an almost diabolic manner as the doomed were lead past her on their way to the guillotine."
As we sat reminiscing, I informed Judy that I remembered almost reciting aloud part of the book's beginning "It was the best of times, it was the worst of times ... it was the season of light, it was the season of darkness"
"As those quotes came to mind, I suppressed a diabolic laugh while thinking, 'This is the season of utter, absolute, eternal, damnable darkness for you, my dear sister.'"
"Oh Allean, it's even worse than I thought. You had such a creepy look on your face, but I couldn't believe you might actually kill me!"
"I'm ashamed to tell you this Judy, but as I knitted, I was aware that if you had moved one iota closer to me on the sofa, I would have plunged the knitting needles into your heart. It seemed a matter of me killing you or you killing me!"
Judy gasped, "Why would you even consider such a thing? I'm not your enemy."
"I know that, but a horrible spirit seemed to be in control of my thoughts and actions. It convinced me for a moment in time that I must get you before you got me. It wanted you dead, but ultimately I would die as well, through conviction of your murder."
Judy had a terrified look on her face. She asked, "What kept you from hurting me? I was aware that a terrible sense of madness had taken over your mind and it spoke to me through your body language, the deadly gleam in your eyes and your terrifying laughter."
"Yes, I remember your eyes too. Your brown eyes turned almost black with fear and your face was a deadly hue of white. You resembled a little lamb stricken with horror, knowing there was no way to retreat from a vicious wolf hungry for innocent blood, your own blood!"
"Allean," Judy repeated with a shaky voice, "What kept you from attacking me?"
I shrugged while remembering, "Suddenly, my sanity returned. I realized how close I'd been to murdering my beloved sister. It was totally bizarre. I'd never experienced anything like that before."
"But what made you stop?"
"I realize now that the evil presence was forced to depart by an even greater Power. At that moment, I had no idea why it left, but now I know that the Power came from Mom's lifelong prayers for her family."CHAPTER 2
Even though I was aware of the incredible danger Judy and I had just escaped, the thought of why something as seemingly innocent as an Ouija board could have had such terrible repercussions troubled me. Determined to solve the mystery, I began delving into known facts about the practice. The details that follow are the results of my research:
In the late 1800's a predecessor to the Ouija board became a popular parlor game for divination. In 1890 it was patented and mass produced. In 1901 William Field trademarked it with the name Ouija. The name came from two foreign words, oui (French for yes) and ja (German for yes). It became Ouija or "Yes, Yes."
Shortly thereafter William Field fell while installing a flagpole on his rooftop. He tumbled off the roof and fractured a rib which punctured his heart and killed him. His estate was sold to Parker Brothers' Toys and they marketed Ouija as a child's game.
The flat board is usually made of wood or pulp board. Various symbols decorate the top. It depicts a star and a half-moon, the words yes and no, letters in alphabetic order from A to Z, numbers from 1 to 10, various other symbols and Good Bye. A small heart-shaped apparatus made of plastic called a planchette stands on short legs with a see-through area on top. To begin the query, the planchette is placed on top of the board. Two people lightly place their fingertips on opposite sides of the apparatus. Questions of the Ouija are asked aloud. When the planchette begins to move the seekers glance through the clear plastic on top and are able to view the letters and signs that spell out answers.
There are various schools of thought regarding the dynamics of the Ouija. Some believe the people playing the game actually generate the movement with their thoughts or that it moves due to vibrations of the body. The customary manner is for the planchette to move on its own. It can be extremely dangerous.
Through the years various people who played the game have become demon-possessed and lost their minds after asking for the spirits controlling the board to materialize and show themselves. At times an evil entity actually assumes command of the board and terrifies the players with its answers. It is not uncommon for players to obtain cuts and bruises on their bodies from the entity when it reacts toward them in anger. We certainly didn't ask the force to appear; it did so of its own accord.
Looking back I suppose we hadn't really thought too much about the intricacies of the Ouija board's actions; we simply thought we were just playing an amusing game as do so many others.
After learning more of its propensities, I realized that we could have been badly hurt or even killed while using it.
The same consequences can occur with automatic writing. Automatic writing is an invitation to an entity in the spirit world to influence a person to write things that don't originate in their own mind. There are people who have written entire books in that manner. It is believed that this phenomenon occurs by making contact with what is called a "spirit guide" an entity from another sphere of existence.
As with the Ouija board, automatic writing, séances and questions asked of a deceased person can become portals for the activity of demonic forces to enter ones' mind, heart and spirit, and in some cases may even cause the death of the inquirer.CHAPTER 3
And now, on a very personal level ...
Experiences with an Ouija board became the prelude of my excursion into the occult. In the following chapters I invite you to join me in my attempts to realize the main reasons for my areas of discontent. Delving into occult activities allowed me to discover some secret type experiences of which most people are unaware. A level of haughtiness ensued and actually became a mode of self protection. It enabled me to obtain a pseudo getaway from daily life and live in my own little world of dreams and imaginations.
Early childhood experiences recounted here may not seem to play a role in my story initially and yet they had an incredible effect on who I became, so I included some of those events. Life sometimes seemed disturbing and unfair. It caused me to seek ways in which I secretly rebelled in order to become my own person.
Looking back, I realize my life entailed a mode of exploration and self-seeking in order to discover why I was born. Later, in my writings you will see I actually discovered all I was seeking and more.
Please accompany me on my journey from darkness into light. Reading of my experiences might help you begin to realize your own dreams and mission in life. Your personal story may also demand publication.CHAPTER 4
Can a child be born angry? After nine months in the womb, a woman's protective covering for her child, could the unborn make the choice not to be born? Refusal to begin breathing might be the baby's first decision not to enter the harsh realms of life.
What if at the time of conception the parents were in a state of turmoil? What if the baby felt unwelcome and unloved from the beginning? Could a tiny infant make the decision to live or die?
Could the fears, anxieties and unhappiness of the two people to whom she had been assigned affect her decision to exist or not to exist on this mortal plane? Did the infant in question realize that the loss of their son who died at birth a year prior still haunted them?
Could the tiny female have sensed dwelling in the earlier abode of her baby brother and the knowledge that he had not lived to see daylight? Did she wish to join him in the black abyss? If she chose to remain in the woman's womb, why couldn't she ...
Later the mother's recounting of her daughter's birth was the fear that this child too, would die. Although she was not the incredibly large baby her brother had been and birthed rather easily, she refused to begin breathing. Later the delivery doctor said he would have given the female infant up for dead if he hadn't known about her baby brother's demise the previous year and that she had been born on her mother's 24th birthday. How long the doctor tried to force her to take a breath is uncertain. Did his method include the traditional swats on the derriere? Were those first spankings the original source of her anger?
Could the months of colic that followed have been caused by her little body's desire not to accept nourishment?
Before leaving the hospital the child's parents had to decide on a name for the birth record. It was almost as though no prior thought had been given regarding the decision about naming the hairless, red-faced little girl. Finally the mother decided to honor her daughter with the name of her best friend, Allean.
Could the tiny female possibly remember a prior existence in Heaven? Had she been unwilling to give up a lifestyle that included a relationship with her Heavenly Father and having angels for playmates? Did she feel vulnerable here as though being left on her own? Had there been other little ones awaiting birth as she was, or even little ones born too quickly and unable to catch hold of earthly life? Whatever the reason, it was evident that she had no interest in exploring her new domain.
Excerpted from Metamorphosis by Allean. Copyright © 2016 Allean. Excerpted by permission of Balboa Press.
All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
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