Awoken at three in the morning by a frantic neighbor, Stan is unexpectedly enlisted to take care of his neighbor's curvy Hucow. He is given full permission to do whatever he feels is needed to solve the problem. But what happens when Stan finds himself falling for the curvaceous cow?
"Who was that, Stan?" My wife asked as I got off the phone.
My hands were still shaking and I wasn't sure that I trusted myself to speak.
"Honey?" Lydia, my wife, came up beside me and laid a hand on my shoulder. "Is something wrong? You look as white as a sheet."
I looked at my wife with my jaw dropping on the floor. "I..."
"Yes, baby? You can tell me. What's wrong?"
"I...I mean Jim," I finally found my voice. "Said that his cow needed milked and he needed my help. He sounded desperate."
My wife shook her head, her long, brown hair swaying seductively. "I don't understand...Jim doesn't have a cow."
"I know," I said. "I could understand it maybe if he lived on a farm, but I don't think there's enough room in the back yard for a dog let alone a cow."
"Do you think he's pulling your leg?"
"No," I said, shaking my head. "He sounded genuinely frantic. I could even hear clanging in the background."
"Oh my God!" My wife put her hand to her mouth. "Honey, he might actually have a cow inside his house."
She grabbed my coat off the coat rack and handed it to me.
"What are you doing?"
"Go! But be careful. I don't know how he got a cow in his house, but getting it out may turn out to be quite unsafe."
"Thanks hon," I pecked her on the cheek, grabbed my coat and dashed out of the house.
And that was how I found myself driving over to my neighbor's at three in the morning.
What kind of lunatic lets a strange cow wander in off the street into his house? How on earth? I shook my head. How the hell could a big, fat cow fit through the doorway anyway? None of this made any sense.
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About the Author
Bessie Hucow is a cow. She likes doing cow things such as mooing and eating grass. She also likes to write very dirty stories. How does a cow write dirty stories? Simple, she nicked a computer and brought it into her barn where she writes under lamplight in the middle of the night when all her humans think she's asleep.
Why? To bring you the very best stories that a cow can write.