The author decided to write this book to help men and women see a different perspective in a relationship or potential relationship. His goal is to enlighten everyone, especially women, and inform them about the different aspects of past, current, and future relationships.
Miss Right for Mr. Right explores and analyzes women’s unique qualities and advises women—and sometimes men as well—on how to find and sustain a successful relationship with someone of the opposite sex.
Miss Right for Mr. Right also explores other areas where society has influenced women in regard to looking for the right man, whereas men sometimes have little say in choosing the right woman.
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Miss Right for Mr. Right
"A Good Man Is Not Hard to Find."
By Lee Speights
AuthorHouseCopyright © 2017 Lee Speights
All rights reserved.
The Nature of Women
Not all women are created equal. And I don't mean that on just the superficial, physical level. With due respect to all women, everyone (man or woman) is inherently different, each in his or her own unique way. However, this book is meant to highlight the nature of women in particular. It is out of my utmost regard for women and my deep intent to somehow better understand and relate to you as sensitively as possible that I have decided to research and write about the observable facts surrounding your natures.
The content of this chapter is not mere speculation and definitely not hate-inspired philosophy meant to judge, bash, or criticize women. On the contrary, it consists of actual observations from both personal experiences and collective history and scriptures that I hope will be instrumental in encouraging every man to build deeper, more genuine, and more respectful relationships not only with his girlfriend or wife but also with his mother, sister, and daughter.
We can improve our relationships with others by leaps and bounds if we become encouragers instead of critics.
— Joyce Meyer
My only wish is for you to open-mindedly bear with me and be able to finish the entire book before forming any premature judgment. I sincerely apologize for any unintentional mistakes and flaws. Please pardon my imperfect yet sincere attempt to somehow share with my fellow men what I have learned about women and how to deal and relate with you.
Again, I wish to emphasize that I have no intent to bash or degrade you. Instead, I hope to improve what little understanding we might have about you so that both men and women alike can positively benefit from a lasting relationship based on mutual understanding, unconditional love, freedom, and respect.
May this book somehow enlighten you and serve as a helpful guide to making the important women in your lives feel loved, respected, and valued. Your words, actions, and general treatment of women will become one of the most important foundations in keeping your relationships stronger. This book hopes to make you better role models to other people looking for relationships or who are in relationships. In turn, the respect for women will be paid forward to future generations so that relationships can be sweeter and longer lasting.
It is my sincerest wish for my female readers that, after having read this book, you will better understand how to find your Mr. Right or how to be in a position where Mr. Right finds you, how to deal with your man in a way that he appreciates and respects, and more importantly, what the duty of a woman is to her man.
Let's begin with understanding the three personalities of women.
The Three Personalities of Women
I've read in ancient Vedic literature that women can be compared to, if not categorized by, three animal characters. Interestingly, I have found such comparisons quite sound and close to reality. However, they cannot and should never categorize or typecast women. Such personalities can manifest in women singularly or in combinations. Of course, men are not exempted and can also show such characteristics.
1. The Brave and Noble Tigress
A tigress is generally viewed as fierce and brave yet at the same time noble and regal. A woman who is like a tigress is equally fierce in her honesty and frankness, brave in her undertakings, and noble and committed to any task at hand. She is bold enough to speak her mind, follow her own will, and tell you outright if and when she is doubtful of your decision or offended by something you may have unintentionally said or done. A free spirit, she is neither timid nor an introvert.
A Tigress Is Independent
After mating, the male tiger typically leaves the tigress to fend for herself through pregnancy and while raising her cubs. She hunts while she's pregnant and continues to do so after delivery in order to support her newborns. She also has naturally antiseptic saliva for disinfecting wounds. Independent and strong-willed, it is her intrinsic nature to accept life's circumstances as they come.
There are many strong and independent women like this. They continue to face problems head-on, even after experiencing otherwise demoralizing life challenges. These women can survive even without the emotional and physical support of men.
Are You a Tigress?
Did you know that tigers are civilized within their unique circumstances? When many tigers share a single kill, the males often let the females and their cubs feast on the carcass first. Fighting over food is a rare incident with tigers. Instead, they patiently take turns.
So this explains a lot in a relationship. A tigress girlfriend or wife would fare better if men are more like tigers in certain circumstances. In other words, a man who shows some chivalry and gentlemanly behavior may be able to tame the tigress in you and help avoid fights. When there is a misunderstanding, you, the tigress will want to win the argument, especially when you know you are right. You want your needs to come before the man's.
Taming the Tigress
While you are tame and well behaved, you may observe that you are quite fearless, carefree, and independent in the playground. There's simply no stopping you.
In order to be tamed, you need adequate space and freedom. You don't want to feel too confined or controlled. Otherwise, you will rebel.
2. The Gentle Cow
Cows are kind and gentle and have a considerably warm nature. Unless protecting their young, they never attack other living beings, not even stubborn flies. They are tolerant, calmly brushing away insects with their tails and patiently waiting for milkmaids to finish milking. Even their eyes express the same gentleness and kindness. Studies also show that they possess an advanced level of intelligence as well as high emotional sensitivity and complexity. In the company of a cow, a human feels no apparent threat or endangerment.
The Cow — A Symbol of Women's Motherly Nature
In Vedic culture, cows are treated with high respect because they are considered mothers. After all, they provide nourishing milk for us, our children, and our grandchildren. Without milk, we could not enjoy the healthy benefits of butter, yogurt, cheese, and other products derived from it. In many parts of India and other Hindu nations, cows are revered as holy mothers and legally protected. If you kill a cow or act as an accessory to the murder of one, jail time can reach seven years.
Are You the Gentle Woman?
Women who can be compared to cows are slow and gentle, not only in their physical movement but also in their behavior, judgment, and decision making. They are sensitive, smart, kind, patient, understanding, not easily agitated — even when provoked or angered — and often sweet, approachable, comfortable to be around, selfless, and loyal. Unlike the tigress, they are forbearing and don't retaliate unless it's critically necessary. They also have no inclination to engage in a war of words with anyone — or any kind of fight, for that matter. They are softhearted and fragile, and it can truly be heart-wrenching to see them cry as silent tears roll down their cheeks.
This type of woman is quite a rarity nowadays. She simply enjoys being at peace and in harmony with herself and everyone around her. She is admirably simple and practical, clear-headed, honest, and trustworthy, and never picks a fight.
Sensitivity Is Key to Sweeter Relationships
Women who are cows are silent. Similarly, most men are not talkative either. In order to make the relationship and household infinitely better and more peaceful, both parties need to make extra effort in reading between the lines. Be aware of your partner's body language, or better yet, speak up when you need to. You may not be the type to start a fight, and you may want to keep your feelings to yourself, but not saying what needs to be said can make things more complicated.
Air out your feelings instead of letting negative emotions slowly kill your relationship. If you sense that something is out of place, initiating a conversation and asking if something is wrong wouldn't hurt.
3. The Clever Fox
Although women are generally depicted as gentle, caring, and softhearted, they can also be quite cunning. In studying history, reading scripture, and through personal experiences, I've encountered women who are very clever. Unlike the tigress, who openly expresses herself when angry, the fox's mentality and behavior can be tricky and unpredictable. In other words, you can somehow anticipate if a tigress is ready to pounce, but you can't easily predict what a clever fox will do. The following are some examples of women with foxlike behavior.
You probably are familiar with Cleopatra's story. She was the famous queen and last female pharaoh of ancient Egypt who used her youth, beauty, and charm to the best of her advantage. She seduced, manipulated, and dominated powerful men for the sake of power.
Samson, who was a great enemy and threat to the Philistines, fell in love with Delilah, a Philistine girl. When the Philistine rulers found out about this, they convinced Delilah to seduce Samson and trick him into revealing his weakness in exchange for money and, of course, for the safety of her own people. Samson was ultimately stripped of his Herculean strength, blinded, and then enslaved.
If you have not heard of Wu Zetian before, she was the only empress of China. She started as a teenage concubine and later married the emperor. After her husband's death, she became empress, advocating the elevation of women's social status. She is considered to be the most loved ruler of her time, and her rule filled China with peace and harmony.
The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly
Being clever and smart is an admirable trait in women. However, being sly and manipulative is a totally different thing. I have high respect for women who display quick wit and intelligence, using these to encourage and uplift other people. However, I do have major reservations, doubts, and yes, even fear of women who use their prowess for self-centered reasons.
It can be pretty scary to come across such women who abuse their beauty, charm, and power. To my female readers, please don't be offended and do try to be as objective as possible. In fact, perhaps you have even observed this behavior in yourself. It's not just in the movies or books when sly women wreak havoc in the household and in society. It's surreal yet very real.
How to Deal
If you think you have a tendency to be quite manipulative, my only advice is to be extra vigilant. Of course, don't turn a blind eye to your flaws. It's not only for your sake but also for your man. In the long run, you might end up hurting your relationship and especially yourself. You may not be as submissive as the cow or as fierce and honest as the tigress, but you can be both if you really want to.
To Men and Women
Men, don't typecast all women as sly foxes because they aren't. And women, please don't typecast all men as chauvinists because not all of us are. My point is that we're not static rocks or emotionless robots. Our differences, which will always be there, are what make us unique. There's really no point in bickering and pointing fingers at each other. In a relationship, sometimes men are at fault, and sometimes women are.
What we can try to do, if we're truly sincere in a relationship, is show respect, understanding, and unconditional love for the sake of peace and harmony. Being more understanding and tolerant of each other's weaknesses and boosting each other's strengths, plus lots of respect and love create a more peaceful, happy, and lasting relationship.CHAPTER 2
Every woman has her personal preferences when it comes to Mr. Right. Some would do whatever it takes to get their Mr. Right, right in the palm of their hands. Some would do whatever it takes to capture their Mr. Right. And yes! They would go beyond extreme limits to get him.
Many of you have heard of the saying "beauty comes from within." But let's face it; the very first thing you notice in a person is how he or she looks. This is the initial step of getting that person attracted to you. Although, to get the right man for you, you need to take care of yourself. This becomes so engraved in some women that they make quite an investment in how they look.
Needless to say, to attract Mr. Right, many women spend so much on beauty products that will enhance whatever they have. From a man's perspective, this is not a bad thing because we want our women to always look good. However, to find the right man, some women tend to do some ridiculous things to get noticed.
A lot of women spend so much time reflecting on the clothes they want to wear and the look they want to achieve. They spend a lot of time in front of the mirror, fitting in all the clothes they have to their satisfaction. Some would even go beyond the limits just to be updated with the latest fashion trend.
Some women also go through extreme diets and exercise just to achieve the perfect body that has been engraved in everyone's mind. In a few extreme cases, women turn to surgeries, diet pills, Spanx, corsets, detoxes, and any quick fix or new fad to get their desired bodies. This does not undermine the fact that they can have adverse reactions from doing some of these things, just to attract the ultimate man of their dreams.
But do they really get the right man for themselves? I highly doubt it. Women may be going through these extreme efforts, but superficial things do not go a long way.
Who Is Mr. Right for You?
Generally, there's a certain type of man that a woman wants. A woman looks for certain qualities that have been engraved in her since childhood while looking at her dad and other influences. There may be several ideal types of men, but it is important to make sure that you are suitable for him as well.
1. The Romantic Man
When a man constantly brings you flowers and chocolates and does gestures that make you feel appreciated, he is showing the characteristics of a romantic man. He still keeps the faith of classical romance. A romantic man will look you in the eye and let you know his thoughts. Typically, a woman wants to be acknowledged and appreciated, and a romantic man makes this happen. A romantic man uses intimate gestures to show affection, and as a benefit, you can return the favor by showing him your own romantic impulses.
2. The Self-Assured Man
He is totally confident and secure about himself. A self-assured man can be socially assertive and has a semblance of power and control. He knows his status in a relationship and doesn't feel threatened by other men in a woman's life. A self-assured man doesn't chase for a woman's approval and encourages a woman to feel more confident about herself.
3. The Intelligent Man
The intelligent man initiates intellect-provoking conversations and actively listens to her reply. He can easily make her laugh with his clever sense of humor and exceptional ability to make boring topics seem interesting. The intelligent man may physically change with age, but a woman will be kept interested all throughout the relationship. Intellectual connection plays a vital role in the relationship.
4. The Creative Man
This type of man uses his adroit hands and creative mind to woo a woman. This makes a woman feel special and unique, especially if she is seen as the source of inspiration. Ordinarily, a woman may be fascinated by the way he mixes her into his art. A creative man is instinctive and free-spirited.
5. The Rebellious Man
The rebellious man has a carefree attitude and does not worry about the consequences of his actions. He has a bad-boy image that a woman wants to tame and manage, although she might be futile in her efforts.
Your Definition of a Good Man Depends on Your Criteria
A good man is not hard to find. Whether you want someone who gives you anything you want, someone who will be good to your children, someone who contributes his fair share, or someone who is mentally or physically fit. It all depends on your criteria and your view of a good man.
Generally, an ideal man can't be hard to find if he possesses the certain characteristics that make a good man. A man has to have something that makes a woman feel secure and happy with the relationship. And on the part of the woman, she must also be able to contribute something to the relationship and not depend so much on the man himself. She must also be able to provide assistance and comfort to the man to make the relationship strong.
Excerpted from Miss Right for Mr. Right by Lee Speights. Copyright © 2017 Lee Speights. Excerpted by permission of AuthorHouse.
All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
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