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Modern Mothering: What Daughters Say They Need from Their Mothers Regarding Sexual Development and Its Impact on Their Self Worth

Modern Mothering: What Daughters Say They Need from Their Mothers Regarding Sexual Development and Its Impact on Their Self Worth

by Joyce T McFadden


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Modern Mothering is based on psychoanalyst Joyce McFadden’s unprecedented study of 450 women, in which women could talk about whatever was important to them, and it was the women of her study who determined this book’s topic: how girls learn about sexuality from their mothers. Full of the narratives of women and girls, kept in their own words, hear what daughters say they need from their mothers when it comes to learning about their sexuality, and learn how much more present they want us to be throughout our lives together. We tend to view sexual development as something that occurs in the contained space of adolescence, but our daughters want us to know that over their lifetimes, the messages they get about sexuality—in- cluding our reluctance to talk about it openly—under- mine their development of confidence and self worth, not only sexually, but in all areas of living. They want us to understand the mother-daughter relationship isn’t static—it changes over the years. And we don’t really cross a line into being sexual, or in becoming a woman. It’s a gradual process, and both young and adult daughters are asking for our help along the way. While other books have named the issues facing girls and women, Modern Mothering is unique in its offering of simple and prescriptive changes we can make to be there for our daughters in the ways they need us to be, whether they’re two and asking where babies come from, or 35 and wondering how to weather the challenges of marriage. It’s the emotional closeness to us our daughters crave, and McFadden’s research reveals how speaking honestly about sexuality nurtures that bond.

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Product Details

ISBN-13: 9780692161647
Publisher: Joyce McFadden
Publication date: 07/31/2018
Pages: 242
Product dimensions: 6.00(w) x 9.00(h) x 0.56(d)

About the Author

Joyce McFadden is a speaker and psychoanalyst in private practice in New York City. She has an MSW from Columbia University and her research has appeared in The New York Times, The Washington Post, O The Oprah Magazine, The Detroit Free Press, and New York Magazine's The Cut.

Table of Contents

Forward ix

Acknowledgments xi

Introduction A Cautionary Tale 14

Chapter One How Our Mothers Influence Us 34

Chapter Two Are You There, Mom? It's Me, Your Daughter 56

Chapter Three Letting Our Daughters See Us as Sexual Women 90

Chapter Four The Lifelong Conversation with Our Daughters about Sexuality 130

Chapter Five What Do You Most Want to Know aboutYour Mother byt Would Never Ask? 156

Chapter Six Saving Our Daughters from Our Best Intentions 182

Conclusion 204

Appendix A Women’s Realities Study Questionnaire Topics 208

Appendix B Questionnaire: Menstruation 210

Appendix C Questionnaire: Relationship with Your Mother 218

Appendix D Questionnaire: Masturbation 224

Notes 230

Index 236

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