The Monster Within: The Hidden Side of Motherhood

by Barbara Almond

Overview

Mixed feelings about motherhood—uncertainty over having a child, fears of pregnancy and childbirth, or negative thoughts about one’s own children—are not just hard to discuss, they are a powerful social taboo. In this beautifully written book, Barbara Almond brings this troubling issue to light. She uncovers the roots of ambivalence, tells how it manifests in lives of women and their children, and describes a spectrum of maternal behavior—from normal feelings to highly disturbed mothering. In a society where perfection in parenting is the unattainable ideal, this compassionate book also shows how women can affect positive change in their lives.

Product Details

ISBN-13:	9780520271203
Publisher:	University of California Press
Publication date:	10/04/2010
Edition description:	First Edition
Pages:	312
Product dimensions:	5.40(w) x 8.20(h) x 0.90(d)

About the Author

Barbara Almond, M.D., is a psychotherapist and psychoanalyst in private practice, a member of the faculty at the San Francisco Center for Psychoanalysis, and Emeritus Adjunct Clinical Assistant Professor at Stanford University. She is coauthor of The Therapeutic Narrative: Fictional Relationships and the Process of Psychological Change.

Table of Contents

Preface
Acknowledgments

Chapter 1. The Ubiquity of Maternal Ambivalence
Chapter 2. Motherlove: The Power of Maternal Desire
Chapter 3. The Subtle Ambivalence of the Too-Good Mother
Chapter 4. “Before the Beginning”: Women’s Fears of Monstrous Births
Chapter 5. Women’s Reproductive Fears: More Clinical Examples
Chapter 6. Rachel’s Story: Internalized Ambivalence and the Dangers of Hidden Guilt
Chapter 7. Whose Fault Is It? The Externalization of Ambivalence
Chapter 8. When Fears Are Realized
Chapter 9. From the Child’s Point of View
Chapter 10. Vampyric Mothering: From Stage Moms to Invasive Moms
Chapter 11. The Darkest Side of Motherhood: Child Murder
Chapter 12. What Happens Later: The Fate of Maternal Ambivalence
Chapter 13. What’s a Mother to Do?

Notes
Bibliography
Index

What People are Saying About This

From the Publisher

"Just the thing for a gray and drizzly autumn afternoon. Drawing on her thirty-seven years of practice as a psychoanalyst as well as her own experiences as a mother, Almond leads an adventurous tour through the shadowy, secret parts of the mother's psyche. . . An oddly compelling read."—New Yorker

"Myth-shredding look at maternal ambivalence." —Ms Magazine

"First, let me recommend this engrossing study to every new mother, old mother, good mother and bad mother. Sons, husbands, dads and lovers might profit from reading this, too. 'The Monster Within' addresses what everybody knows, but almost nobody talks about: Even the best mothers among us will be or have been tormented from time to time by strong feelings of dread, fear, hatred and even revulsion at the whole process of motherhood, as well as experiencing downright murderous feelings toward our children."—Washington Post Book World

"A smart, cohesive read, and a welcome respite from perfect-mother guidebooks. Recommended If: The last book you'd ever pick up is one about motherhood."—Bitch

"Takes on the taboo of maternal ambivalence. . . . Almond, a psychoanalyst, offers an optimistic message about the roots of these mixed emotions."—The Washington Post

Editorial Reviews

First, let me recommend this engrossing study to every new mother, old mother, good mother and bad mother. Sons, husbands, dads and lovers might profit from reading this, too. ‘The Monster Within’ addresses what everybody knows, but almost nobody talks about: Even the best mothers among us will be or have been tormented from time to time by strong feelings of dread, fear, hatred and even revulsion at the whole process of motherhood, as well as experiencing downright murderous feelings toward our children.

Carolyn See Book World

Myth-shredding look at maternal ambivalence.

Ms Magazine

Takes on the taboo of maternal ambivalence. . . . Almond, a psychoanalyst, offers an optimistic message about the roots of these mixed emotions.

The Washington Post

Just the thing for a gray and drizzly autumn afternoon. Drawing on her thirty-seven years of practice as a psychoanalyst as well as her own experiences as a mother, Almond leads an adventurous tour through the shadowy, secret parts of the mother’s psyche. . . An oddly compelling read.

New Yorker

A smart, cohesive read, and a welcome respite from perfect-mother guidebooks. Recommended If: The last book you’d ever pick up is one about motherhood.

Bitch

First, let me recommend this engrossing study to every new mother, old mother, good mother and bad mother. Sons, husbands, dads and lovers might profit from reading this, too. ‘The Monster Within’ addresses what everybody knows, but almost nobody talks about: Even the best mothers among us will be or have been tormented from time to time by strong feelings of dread, fear, hatred and even revulsion at the whole process of motherhood, as well as experiencing downright murderous feelings toward our children.

Washington Post Book World - Carolyn See

“Just the thing for a gray and drizzly autumn afternoon. Drawing on her thirty-seven years of practice as a psychoanalyst as well as her own experiences as a mother, Almond leads an adventurous tour through the shadowy, secret parts of the mother’s psyche. . . An oddly compelling read.

New Yorker

"Just the thing for a gray and drizzly autumn afternoon. Drawing on her thirty-seven years of practice as a psychoanalyst as well as her own experiences as a mother, Almond leads an adventurous tour through the shadowy, secret parts of the mother's psyche. . . An oddly compelling read."--New Yorker

"Myth-shredding look at maternal ambivalence." --Ms Magazine

"First, let me recommend this engrossing study to every new mother, old mother, good mother and bad mother. Sons, husbands, dads and lovers might profit from reading this, too. 'The Monster Within' addresses what everybody knows, but almost nobody talks about: Even the best mothers among us will be or have been tormented from time to time by strong feelings of dread, fear, hatred and even revulsion at the whole process of motherhood, as well as experiencing downright murderous feelings toward our children."--Washington Post Book World

"A smart, cohesive read, and a welcome respite from perfect-mother guidebooks. Recommended If: The last book you'd ever pick up is one about motherhood."--Bitch

"Takes on the taboo of maternal ambivalence. . . . Almond, a psychoanalyst, offers an optimistic message about the roots of these mixed emotions."--The Washington Post

From the Publisher

…let me recommend this engrossing study to every new mother, old mother, good mother and bad mother. Sons, husbands, dads and lovers might profit from reading this, too. The Monster Within addresses what everybody knows, but almost nobody talks about: Even the best mothers among us will be or have been tormented from time to time by strong feelings of dread, fear, hatred and even revulsion at the whole process of motherhood, as well as experiencing downright murderous feelings toward our children…Almond calms the reader, suggesting that we can only do our best and trust that our ambivalence is more than compensated for by our devotion and love. The stories here—often touching and often very hopeful—tend to bear out this optimistic hypothesis.
—The Washington Post

Carolyn See

Psychoanalyst Almond (The Therapeutic Narrative) uses her decades-long interest in maternal ambivalence to study how individual uncertainty or insecurity can manifest itself in forms of inadequate motherhood or fears of "monstrous offspring." Relying heavily on extreme case studies, Almond explores the parent-child relationships that often detour in what she considers Oedipal periods. Citing cases from her own practice and public figures Almond's relentless judgment of women and even marital sexual behavior throughout her analysis of bad mothering is disconcerting. She relies too heavily on extreme examples such as implicitly "narcissistic" Angelina Jolie and Nadya Suleman, casually comparing the latter to the overwhelmed nursery rhyme mother from "The Old Woman Who Lived in a Shoe." All of her analyses seem to culminate in Andrea Yates' horrific act of murdering her five children. Throughout the explication of case studies, Almond includes literary interpretations centering on incest and mother-hatred of classic horror stories such as Mary Shelley's Frankenstein and Bram Stoker's Dracula. While an interesting premise, Almond's reliance on severe cases and an inordinate obsession with incest reduces the potential impact on ordinary stressed mothers looking for understanding and relief. (Oct.)

Publishers Weekly