Motherless Daughters: The Legacy of Loss

Motherless Daughters: The Legacy of Loss

by Hope Edelman

Paperback(Older Edition)

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Overview

Motherless Daughters: The Legacy of Loss by Hope Edelman

Ask any woman whose mother has died and she will tell you that she is irrevocably altered, as profoundly changed by her mother's death as she was by her mother's life. And although a mother's mortality is as inevitable as nightfall, no other book has addressed the lasting effects of this incalculable loss. First published more than a decade ago and now available in this updated edition, Motherless Daughters is still the book that women of all ages look to for understanding and comfort when their mothers die, and it is the book that they continue to press into each other's hands.

Building on interviews with hundreds of mother-loss survivors, this life-affirming book is newly expanded to reflect the author's personal experience with the continued legacy of mother loss. Now married and a mother of young children herself, Hope Edelman better understands how the effects of mother loss change over time and in light of new relationships.

Product Details

ISBN-13: 9780385314381
Publisher: Random House Publishing Group
Publication date: 04/28/1995
Edition description: Older Edition
Pages: 324
Product dimensions: 6.20(w) x 9.30(h) x 0.78(d)

About the Author


Hope Edelman is a writer whose work has appeared nationally. She graduated from the University of Iowa Writing Program and lives in New York City. Her mother died when she was seventeen.

Table of Contents

Letters from Readersxiii
Acknowledgmentsxviii
Introductionxix
Part ILoss
1The Seasons of Grieving: Mourning Takes Time3
2Times of Change: Developmental Stages of a Daughter's Life29
3Cause and Effect: No Way Is the Best Way71
4Later Loss: Learning How to Let Go103
Part IIChange
5Daddy's Little Girl: The Father-Daughter Dyad121
6Sister and Brother, Sister and Sister: Sibling Connections (and Disconnections)153
7Looking for Love: Intimate Relationships178
8When a Woman Needs a Woman: Gender Matters200
Part IIIGrowth
9Who She Was, Who I Am: Developing an Independent Identity223
10Mortal Lessons: Life, Death, Sickness, Health242
11The Daughter Becomes a Mother: Extending the Line263
12The Female Phoenix: Creativity, Achievement, and Success292
Epilogue311
Appendixes
AMotherless Daughters Survey317
BResources325
CMotherless Daughters in Literature329
Bibliography343
Notes347
Index375
About the Author391

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Motherless Daughters: The Legacy of Loss 4.9 out of 5 based on 0 ratings. 18 reviews.
Guest More than 1 year ago
I loss my mother when I was 14. I read this book when I was 32 and it turned my life around. I don't know what's worse, losing a mother early on in life or later, the pain is the same. The stories of other women helped me tremendously. It helped me realize wasn't the only one in this world who felt angry, betrayed, lost, abandoned, ashamed, and alone because of my mothers death. This book gave me a sense of peace and comfort. I learned so much from women I'll probably never meet. Since then, I've shared this book with my sister and other women who share the same loss. Thank you for sharing your stories.
Guest More than 1 year ago
I was going thru books at the book store one day @ 2 months after my 49 yr old mother died. I fell upon this book and it seriously change my life at that moment. I was sure no one could ever imagine how I was feeling. Well not only did I find I was not alone but I found a way to heal. It is still to this day, one of the only things that helps me get throu the 'why me' days. I have given this book to many friends who have lost their mothers.
Guest More than 1 year ago
I stumbled upon this book when I was 28 years old, 10 years after I had lost my mother to breast cancer. I did not have any friends who had lost their mother, and most members of my family were dealing with their own grief and thus unable to help with mine. In essence I was completely alone in dealing with the most devastating loss in my life. This book provided the most significant guidance in my mourning and loss. It showed me that the mourning would last forever, and change with each stage of my life. Most importantly, it confirmed my belief that the physical loss of my mother helped define who I am today. I now buy or reccommend this book to anyone I know who has lost their mother, regardless of their age at the time of physical loss. Thank you Hope.
Guest More than 1 year ago
I picked up this book about a month ago when I was depressed. On September 21st my Mom will have been dead for 2 years. I, like many others, hid my grief as to protect the rest of my family. I am the baby, but I was the only one able to function after my mom died (I was 17). I planned a funeral, went through her stuff, and did it all in a daze. I am finally allowing myself to express my grief and this book was incredible. It absolutely summed up how I feel. There is a part that talks about wanting to tell everyone that my mom died because that would sum up who I am. I read it to my dad and he finally understood how I felt. I recommend this book to anyone, even those with a Mom. It's great.
julie2112 on LibraryThing 5 days ago
I was originally given this book shortly after its publication, less than a year after losing my Mom to breast cancer. I just finished rereading it about 13 years later, and found it even more comforting and informative than the first time around. Written by a motherless daughter, the book focuses specifically on a daughter's grief for the early death of her mother. Although it can inform you about grief in general, if this specific scenario does not apply to you, the scope may seem limited unless you are interested in the psychology of bereavement. I found it to be very insightful, touching on an area that is not only rarely discussed in literature, but rarely discussed in life. This book helped me understand that I am not crazy for the magnitude and duration of my grief, nor am I alone in my experience. I also highly recommend the follow up book Hope Edelman wrote, consisting of letters she received after the publication of this work. I'll review that one as soon as I can find it!
Guest More than 1 year ago
I must have bought this book about 10 times so far. I have given it as a gift to anybody that has lost a mother. I lost my mother when I was 15, I read the book when I was in my late 30's. If I only had it ealier, I would have been a lot better of.
Guest More than 1 year ago
This book has so much insiration to give to those those dealing with the loss of a mother, letters form those who have and how they dealt//deal with it. The pain is always there, but it is nice to know you can get answers to the questions you have from others who have experienced the same. I also gave a friend fatherless daughters, when she lost her dad
Guest More than 1 year ago
This is a must read for any girl/woman who has lost her mother.
Guest More than 1 year ago
My mom died when I was 18. This book was referred to me after struggling with my emotions for almost 18 years. It has shed so much light on the my emotions and what I have felt for so long. I was amazed to see so many others going through the emotional trauma that I was going through. This book is a must read to any woman who has lost their mom. It's been 23 years since my mom died and I still have a hard time dealing with my loss. I applaud Hope for tackling this issue and giving us, the motherless daughters, the answers we have been searching for.
Guest More than 1 year ago
Having lost my parents at an early age, Dad when I was 14 and Mom when I was 19, at age 42 now, they both have been gone more than half of my life. I wish so much that I had known of about this book earlier. It was an amazing source of comfort to hear from others exactly what I had been thinking and feeing for so many years! This is a must read for any daughter that has lost their mother. We must learn to comfort each other and this book goes a long way to starting a healing process long overdue for me!
Guest More than 1 year ago
My mom died when I was 21 years old. I stumbled upon this book while searching the self-help aisle in a bookstore. I am now 28 years old and I cling to this book. The advice, stories, and practical information helped when therapy did not! There's also a MD workbook available. This book changed me forever just as losing my mother. Daughters you are not alone and do read this book!
Guest More than 1 year ago
I lost my mom 5 years ago, she was only 44. My Dad gave me this book just before she died. And I didn't want anything to do with it. I rediscovered it at the bottom of my closet a few months later, and it made me realize so much. I WASN'T ALONE. I wasn't the only person who had ever lost their mother, despite ALL my thoughts to the contrary. I've given this book to serveral other women I've met who've lost their mothers. The great thing about it is that it addresses all situations and ages -- whether you lost your mom as an infant, teen or adult... last week or 20 years ago. The things we experience all revolve around the same thing, we're motherless daughters.
Guest More than 1 year ago
My mother was only 35 when she died of cancer and I was 18. This book has taught me so much about myself & her death. It was a very difficult book to read, but well worth it. I would recommend this wonderful book to any woman who has lost their mother. Hope really taught me a lot from what she wrote of her own mother. Thank you for writting this book Hope!
Guest More than 1 year ago
I am now twenty-years-old and my mother died when I was seventeen. I was still timid to even buy this book because it meant that I was still grieving. The book was great comfort and It made me feel better about the sadness I still carried.
Guest More than 1 year ago
After happening upon this book at my public library one day in 7/2000, while there with my children, I had to take it home. At 38 years of age, having lost my mother 32 years ago, I feel I am finally able to grieve. I have discovered that emotions I had been holding in because of being afraid of not being normal, were able to come out; even after all these years. I know it will help me with not only the relationship with my 2 daughters, but also with my 2 sons. Thank you Hope for giving me hope, in knowing I'm not the only one.
Guest More than 1 year ago
I'm 24 and lost my mother at age 10 to cervical cancer she was sick for two years. Reading Hope's book was not an easy task, I cried through the whole first chapter. The first letter on the first page could have been written by me. It's amazing that she has such insight. I truly felt like someone who didn't know me had come into my life and was explaining to me why I do the things I do. She is truly amazing and while at times difficult to read she is absolutely right. I would recommend it to any woman who has lost the mother in her life.
Guest More than 1 year ago
This book gave me a great insight of how I felt when I lost my mother at eighteen. It has give me hope to understanding my feelings when I was not sure how to express it during the months and years after my mother's death. It made me realize I need to help myself to come to turn with my mother's death that I have not dealt with.
Guest More than 1 year ago
This book was the starting point to help for me. It helped me to understand what happened to me and why, then I was able to better cope with the feelings and pain that I had been pushing down and away and not dealing with for about 15 years. I would recommend this book to absolutely anyone who has suffered early mother loss. It is extremely focused an informative. I also became involve in one of the local chapters of motherles daughters and that helped even more. They meet every Saturday each year, the day before mothers day to celebrate thier mothers lives. Wow! :0)