There is wisdom in all of God's designs! Marriage is certainly one of the grandest, though we creatures mess it up! There is help and blessing in all contrite seeking of God for counsel in our lives and particularly when joined to understanding and application of the written revelation given to us in the biblical writings!
Sometimes the tenets that are proclaimed are based too much in assumptions, generalizations, and exaggerations of passages of the Bible. Representations of gender roles, marriage-related sins and liberties, and the ways that we all ought to interact with each other about our unique issues may be inadequate for the task of finding the beauty of righteousness in our situations. God and His revelation isn't inadequate but people are. People tend to gravitate to simple formulas. People like to parrot what keeps them safe. We often just lack the patience it takes to gain real understanding both of the Word and of other people.
This is a personal contribution to the conversation. This discussion comes out of my own life experiences and my own wrestling with the Lord about these subjects. I have also seen others in very challenging personal situations. Such have been a prod to seek the Lord for answers. To know what to think, let alone to say. To try to know what God thinks and would have of us. To not be hard-hearted and to know how to proceed when hard-heartedness is rampant. As we live in a very challenging and seemingly increasingly narcissistic age, we must keep close to our Creator, press against the tide rushing away from His wisdom, and reach out to others with love, warnings, and help. Here I am sharing some musings on marital "status" categories and concepts that I hope will help.