My Adventures in Bangkok: The Story of John, John, John

by Nelson S. Howe

Overview

The story begins when Nelson stars in the YouTube video, BKK 1st Time, (Bangkok First Time) produced by his friend Benz, a Thai videographer. The script is about cursing, common in Thailand. Nelson follows the script and to his amazement, the show goes viral, with over four million hits!

Seventy-seven-year-old Nelson suddenly finds himself a celebrity in Bangkok. He is mobbed by viewers of the video who address him as “John, John, John, Nelson?” when they approach him for selfies. This is only slightly less bewildering than the bows from hotel personnel, whenever he’s entering or leaving the lobby. As a celebrity, he finds himself in a new world, halfway around the planet, enjoying adventures he could not have imagined and living a life beyond his wildest dreams. Thousands pour into the National Book Fair to meet him and obtain his autograph.

Nelson’s life in Bangkok, on camera and off, is filled with crazy adventures and hilarious stories. The unforeseen, and the extraordinary, became everyday experiences. These wild stories could only have happened in Bangkok. Complete with the author’s cartoons, this volume is part memoir, part hilarious accounts of an American abroad, and partly a love letter to the vast planet of his new friends.

Product Details

ISBN-13:	9781532013300
Publisher:	iUniverse, Incorporated
Publication date:	01/12/2017
Pages:	148
Product dimensions:	6.00(w) x 9.00(h) x 0.32(d)

Read an Excerpt

CHAPTER 1

A Freebie

"NELSON! YOU'RE INVITED TO BANGKOK, all expenses paid. Lillian's included."

That's from my Thai friend, Benz. He's back in Bangkok now. He made that invitation come true. His full Thai name is Thanachart Siripatrachai. I just call him by his nickname Benz. It's a lot easier.

Some months before the invitation, he made my video BKK 1st Time on You Tube. It went viral – over four million views!

Some of you have seen it already. In it, I play a philosophy professor who's been teaching in Bangkok long enough to curse in Thai. I'm convincing! We create that video right here in New York City.

To my surprise, it leads to national fame in Thailand.

But I'll tell you a secret. I almost don't make it!

In Thailand, Benz begins to set up my visit to Bangkok.

Meanwhile, I'm in serious trouble! I need two overnight emergency room treatments in one week to save my feet. The infections are that stubborn ... very serious.

By the time Benz calls me from Bangkok to have Lillian and I make the trip, I had been in treatment for nearly two months. I had to think about it seriously.

So why did he invite me to come to Bangkok in the first place?

It's because my good friend Benz had come into my life.

He videoed a series of my professional dance performances in New York City.

And that was just the start.

Years earlier, I created, produced, and acted in my martial arts show, Way of Action, touring ten years from Texas to Vermont. It even played in New York City and was featured on national television in the David Susskind Show.

Knowing that, Benz had me star in his short film, The Words I Love.

To my surprise and pleasure, it was accepted in twelve National Film festivals that played from Alaska to New York. It won three Festival Awards!

He had me learn a Thai dance. He put that on You Tube where it gained over seven hundred thousand viewers. (He knew I had toured internationally for three years in a modern dance company, as well as professionally dancing solo for a decade.)

And then it happened!

With all that help from Benz, Salmon House Publishing in Bangkok wanted me to come make a series of videos for them. These were also for publication on You Tube. And by the way, those videos are still playing.

Meanwhile, he wrote about me in one chapter of each of his books, New York First Time, and Real Alaska. After I got to Bangkok, both became best sellers at the National Book Fair in Bangkok.

However, it was BKK 1st Time on You Tube that forged my national fame in Thailand.

But I almost didn't make the visit to Bangkok. It was SO close!

I'd been in treatment for several months. I was still struggling to heal the open wounds on both my ankles.

Just after Benz called, I make my usual weekly visit to my Doctor's office in the Wound Center in Manhattan. The Doctor finished wrapping gauze and compression bandages from my toes to my knees on both feet. When I'm about to exit the examination table, I mention, "I'm leaving in about two days for Bangkok. I plan to spend at least a month, or more."

He frowns. "Out of the country for a month, or possibly more?" I nod agreement.

"I recommend you keep these bandages in place during your whole trip. The medications are essential to prevent your infections from going to the bone."

"What if that happens?"

He stares at me a moment. "For your sake, I hope that doesn't happen. But in case it does, you'll have to be hospitalized for at least a month, or more, on intravenous antibiotics."

He pauses, shakes his head, and continues, "Or worse yet, if that hospital treatment fails, you will have surgical removal of your feet to save your legs ... or you could even lose your life!"

Finally, I catch my breath. "Thank you Doctor. Believe me, I'll make sure I keep my bandages in place for my whole trip!"

CHAPTER 2

Decision. Decision. Decision!

IT'S A QUANDARY – GO to Bangkok, or stay home?

My Doctor who warned me, as well as Lillian and my sister, are the chorus with the same song. "Don't risk your life!"

I already know about that. "It's still my decision!"

Then, Lillian, and my sister add another opinion. They point to the military coup in May this same year.

"How safe is it to be there about four months aft er the military takes over? There could be continued fighting."

I tell her, "Coups are routine in Thai history. All's quiet there now. A successful routine coup will not stop me from going – and neither will the sores on my ankles."

Then, my sister reads several books about Thailand. The phone rings again.

I almost don't pick it up.

"So now what is it?"

"There's a criminal element in Thailand! You could be kidnapped for money, or sold into slavery, or even killed! It's too dangerous for you to go!"

"It's dangerous here too". "I've lived in New York City since 1961. I've faced knife threats, gangs and gun fights outside in the street, and organized crime in several neighborhoods already.

I'm still here. I was lucky. Besides, Benz isn't afraid to live in Bangkok. He isn't even a trained martial artist."

The next evening, at dinner with Lillian, I spell it out.

"I'm certain now. If I don't accept the invitation to Bangkok, I'll regret it for the rest of my life. I'd much rather die on an adventure than moldering in my room for the rest of my life. Why not enjoy a country where millions already know me, and nearly ten thousand people are friending me on Face Book?"

So, as we finish our chocolate cake at dinner that evening, I ask Lillian, "Are you going with me, or not?"

Without hesitation, she answers, "I won't let you leave without me!"

CHAPTER 3

The Decision

THAT EVENING AFTER DINNER AND the TV news, she tells me, "I want to see Bangkok for a second time in my life. The first time was part of a five-year adventure in my early twenties."

As we sat together on the couch, she shared stories of her travels across Europe, Australia, the mid-east, India, Thailand, and beyond. Much of her journey was on foot, alone as a young, single woman. She had taken amazing risks.

She tells me, "This time, we will both leave on our adventure together. It's a great opportunity. We can't miss it. We'll be going half way around the world together. And this is our first time in both our lives!"

And we're both delighted.

However, in the last few days before we leave, she begins to look rather preoccupied.

Just before leaving, she tells me. "Nelson, you know I want to go with you, but as I think about it, I can't take more than a week away from here. I have to continue working on my designs for the jewelry shows. The deadlines are very close."

"I know it's disappointing, but I hope you understand."

"I understand, but I'm surprised too."

Given her five years of traveling half way across the world when she was in her early twenties, I expected her to spend at least two full weeks in Bangkok. But this is a very different time in her life. She's older, and she's totally devoted to her jewelry designing and shows. I know it's important. She's making the most of remaining time in her life.

And so am I.

I tell her, "I'm also disappointed. I'm sorry we can't spend more time on this vacation together, As I think about it, however. It's wonderful you're choosing to come half way around the world for a short week with me.

I think about it and point out, "It's a gift ... and a long way to go. At least you'll be with me to start. I'm happy you'll be with me for the beginning."

I thought everything was settled but in the last days before the flight, one more possible difficulty appears.

Several health professionals caution me.

"Since there's a minimum of at least a twenty-two-hour flight each way, you'll need to move around every two hours to prevent blood clots. Because of your advanced age, you're especially susceptible with your infected wounds and possible blood clots. People sometimes die from it. Even if you live, it can ruin your life."

I'll easily solve that risk, once I'm on the plane. Just like home, I'll get up about every two hours, day and night. I'll make a point of sitting in the aisle seat to make it even easier.

CHAPTER 4

Our 30 Hour Beginning

AND, FLY WE DO – twenty-two hours in the air plus a six-hour layover in Shanghai.

We arrive after twenty-eight hours. It's the evening of September 28th, 2014. After our landing, Lillian borrows a wheelchair. We go to the luggage carousel where I manage to grab our two, worn, antique suitcases. She leaves her borrowed wheelchair behind and returns to using her cuff crutch to limp toward the exit. I'm managing to limp along with her in spite of my compression bandages on both legs.

As we hobble out to see if our hosts are there waiting for us, it feels as if we've been dragged through a war.

We must look bedraggled, but HOORAY! In the vast reaches of the airport, the enthusiastic staff from Salmon Publishing recognizes us. We're delighted!

They're excited. We've made it! It feels like we're their long-lost Auntie and Uncle from outer space, and they cluster around us for a joyous welcome, and their self-introductions.

Neither of us are able to remember any of their names after so many hours of travel. We consider ourselves lucky to remember our own names. We do recall seeing Benz. Later we learn, Noi, the Producer, Vichai who will be my guide, and Toast who took us out shopping and oft en accompanied us on other outings, were also there.

To our relief, the greeting is simple, joyous, and short. Then, we're whisked into a waiting van.

"This will be a bit of a drive," they tell us, and quickly, we're out of the airport onto a four-lane expressway.

Lillian and I are both very tired ... but far too excited to be dozing off. As we near the city, traffic becomes dense and slows us to a near crawl. What we assume is a defective stoplight about halfway through the drive, adds to a seemingly endless trip.

Later, Vichai explains, "This is usual. It could have been a lot worse. For example, "I was trying to get in to work one morning when I got stuck at that light. It was a three-hour traffic jam."

I think maybe he's trying to convince us we got lucky, and I'll take his word on that! We did!"

CHAPTER 5

Hitting the Hay

FINALLY, OUR VAN COMES TO a stop in the hotel parking lot. Gratefully, the staff hauls our luggage along with us up to our hotel room. We're very pleased to see the spacious room has a large double bed, complete bathroom, plenty of storage, a desk, and a table for eating. Nearby, there's a full- size refrigerator, a big television set, and at that hour in our trip, an especially inviting leather covered black couch.

When we express surprise at the refrigerator and dishes, they tell us, "it's a residential hotel." Clearly, it's now our home away from home. No stove, but the staff came prepared. They put food in the refrigerator for that night, and the next day. They also include a canister of potato chips, and a canister of peanuts with a coconut coating. Those peanuts became a favorite of mine for the rest of the trip – super good!

There's also an assortment of other snack foods on the cabinet top. Nothing was overlooked.

Having arranged for our comfort, our welcoming committee says their "good night" and assures us, "we'll come for you tomorrow at two in the afternoon."

Lillian and I unpack our necessities, use our toothbrushes, and she showers after the trip. I'm bandaged from toes to knees on both legs. I was told not to get those bandages wet, so I do a 'stand up' washcloth cleanup. That washcloth method was required for the entire time of the trip.

As we prepare for bed, it feels comfortably cool in the room.

"Lillian, look up there – must be air conditioning!"

Surprised, she exclaims. "It's coming in up along the ceiling!"

I go look out on the balcony and sure enough, the machine itself is sitting there and the cooled air is brought in along the ceiling with a conduit.

I come off the balcony and tell Lillian, "That's really smart – not like the positioning of air conditioners in most US homes and hotels. The cold air blows directly on us there."

Grateful, and half asleep by that time, we fall into bed. It turns out to be a very comfortable night indeed, and we quickly slip into a much-needed sleep.

CHAPTER 6

Amazing

THE BED'S HEAVEN, ESPECIALLY AFTER our efforts in the plane seats. It's the sleep of the dead. Sunshine streams in from the balcony – both of us wake up, totally alert. We check our clock and it's just after six in the morning. We dress, and are ready to go out to hunt for breakfast. As we are about to leave, there's a timid knock on our door.

"Who the hell dares to knock at this hour," I mumble.

On the way to the door, I'm grumbling, "Barely morning yet! They must have insomnia. "They told us they're coming for us at two pm. I want my breakfast at least."

At that point, I'm tempted to make a loud snoring sound to pretend we're still sleeping but we give each other 'the look' to be sure we're both properly dressed.

Lillian yawns, and begins making the bed as I open the door.

It's a delivery man. He hands me a bag, bows and leaves even before I can manage a "thank you."

"Lillian, it's our breakfast. How could they know we're up ... and HUNGRY?"

Lillian is placing the silverware and dishes and tells me, "I don't know about you, but I'm up for this every morning. I don't care how they know."

I start opening the package. "Hey, even the coffee's in here, already made! It's incredible room service!"

Lillian smiles as she finishes setting the table. "It's our first breakfast in Bangkok. We haven't even ordered in!"

"Awesome," I exclaim, adjusting my napkin, as I sit down to eat. "How could they have known we got up so early? They certainly must have known when we arrived. The room must be bugged.

"I don't care, as long as it gets here on time – and a good breakfast too," She tells me.

"I agree," I say, as I finish my second waffle with syrup. "With service like this, they must fill the place all the time."

"Lillian gets up and starts clearing the dishes. "It's really good. I already wish I don't have to leave so soon."

"I'm sorry too," and I get up and come over to her for a hug and a kiss. "I'm sorry it's such a short vacation for us. I'll miss you."

During the rest of Lillian's visit, and all of my stay, the food is a continuing gift with a wide variety, excellent nutrition. It's always provided for our convenience and pleasure. In fact, the food preparers here in Bangkok are amazing. They provide the meal as soon as we begin to feel hungry.

After we finish unpacking, we go out on the balcony for our first look over the city.

Oooh! It's hot out here, I exclaim."

"And not at all cool out here like our room," Lillian responds as she heads back in and turns on the television. As I come back in, she informs me, "The daily temperature now in late October, is averaging the mid-eighties! And it's that now already this morning.

Having finished our breakfast, done the dishes, and tidied up the room, we go out into the hall to take the elevator down. We almost miss it. That's because there are three elevator doors available. There's no light above the doors to indicate which elevator is activated, so, without warning, the far one happens to come open first. We discover they close fast, and we aren't so fast on our feet.

Fortunately, I'm still somewhat agile in spite of my bandages. I block the door with my arm. The two stubborn doors try desperately to perform an amputation on it. They tire quickly and I manage to get my foot in the way as they attempt this maneuver again. They aren't as devious as they appeared or they would have held on to my foot.

I discover later, they could be choosy, and one of them held my leg until Lillian was finally able to convince it to let me go.

CHAPTER 7

You'd Never Guess

WE DECIDE TO EXPLORE BANGKOK before our two o'clock appointment with the staff .

We exit the elevator. We limp through the rather large lobby past the four desk clerks who abruptly stand up at attention and bow to us with their hands together, prayer style, in front of their faces.

I turn to Lillian. "Maybe they do this for everybody?

"I don't know. Must be."

I take a quick look around. "Nobody else."

"So it must be us," Lillian replies.

We smile politely and say "hello." They return the "hello" and remain standing stiffly at attention.

(Continues…)

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Excerpted from "My Adventures In Bangkok"
by .
Copyright © 2017 Nelson S. Howe.
Excerpted by permission of iUniverse.
All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
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