My Boyfriend Wrote a Book About Me: And Other Stories I Shouldn't Share with Acquaintances, Coworkers, Taxi drivers, Assistants, Job Interviewers, Bikini Waxers, and Ex/Current/Future Boyfriends but Have

My Boyfriend Wrote a Book About Me: And Other Stories I Shouldn't Share with Acquaintances, Coworkers, Taxi drivers, Assistants, Job Interviewers, Bikini Waxers, and Ex/Current/Future Boyfriends but Have

by Hilary Winston

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Overview

My Boyfriend Wrote a Book About Me: And Other Stories I Shouldn't Share with Acquaintances, Coworkers, Taxi drivers, Assistants, Job Interviewers, Bikini Waxers, and Ex/Current/Future Boyfriends but Have by Hilary Winston

TV writer Hilary Winston offers up a witty collection of autobiographical tales about her misadventures in dating.
Just when Hilary feels like her life is finally in order, she gets a sucker-punch to the gut: Her ex has written a novel based on their relationship in which he refers to her throughout as the “fat-assed girlfriend.” Her response to this affront is just one of the many hilarious stories in My Boyfriend Wrote a Book About Me--a laugh-out-loud, tell-all in which Hilary sets the record straight on all her exes. Hilary Winston was writer and producer of the critically acclaimed comedy Community and was one of the writers for the Emmy®-award-winning show My Name Is Earl. She  is the creator of a new comedy that will air on CBS in early 2014, Bad Teacher.

Product Details

ISBN-13: 9781402788826
Publisher: Sterling
Publication date: 05/03/2011
Sold by: Barnes & Noble
Format: NOOK Book
Pages: 240
Sales rank: 176,772
File size: 654 KB

About the Author

Hilary Winston is currently working as a writer and producer of the critically acclaimed comedy Community and was one of the writers for the Emmy®-award-winning show My Name is Earl. She began her writing career by getting people coffee at various places like National Public Radio and Hollywood Squares. She can now proudly say someone else gets her coffee. Unfortunately, she doesn’t like coffee. Winston lives in Los Angeles.

Table of Contents

Preface xi

Part 1 My Boyfriend Wrote a Book About Me

I Am the Fat-assed Girlfriend 3

Part 2 The Foundation Is Cracked

It All Started With a Garbage Pail Kid 19

Truly Tasteless Jokes, or How I Learned about Sex 23

I Know You're in There, Whore! 29

Hey, Baby, Let Me See Your Tattoo! 37

The Case of the Really Tight H.J. 41

He Didn't Even Look at Me Twice 45

Austin Powers, Jr. 47

My Gay Ex-boyfriends 51

Shy Pooper 61

Part 3 Bathing in Tandem AKA My First Adult Relationship

My First Adult Relationship 69

The Coital Laugh 73

Have You Been Fighting in Front of the Cat? 79

A Questionable Poo: The End of Romance 83

Witches Boarding School: My Sexual Fantasy 87

The Saddest Bath 91

My Landing Strip Is Stuck to You 97

Part 4 No More Baths (Well, Maybe a Few More)

This section will tell the stories from my acting out phase.

A Real, Genuine, 100-percent Bona Fide Christmas Miracle 107

Delta Employee Versus A Heartbroken Emotional Eater 111

Coworker Phone Sex 115

What Do You Think of My Boobies? 119

The Pre-famous Dude 125

Lolly's Acne 129

The Accidental Hand Job 131

How a Lean Cuisine Spa Meal Ruined the Perfect Hook-up 137

The "I-Can't-Believe-I-Live-on-the-Beach" Guy 141

The Texas Titty Twister 145

Whore Bath 147

Birthday Bath With a Stranger 151

What's Up With All the Baths? 153

Part 5 Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Things, and One Crazy-ass Mailman

Mom's Cancer, My Dying Cat, and Other Good First Date Topics 157

Gary, My Crazy-ass Horny Mailman 169

You Don't Believe in Love 173

Single People Are Not Welcome at Build-A-Bear 177

Past Life Regression Therapy 179

eRejection: My Foray into Online Dating 191

Part 6 Where Do Broken Vaginas Go? Do They Find Their Way Home?

My Broken Vagina 201

An Un-spiritual Awakening on Parking Level 4 207

The Last Supper, Olive Garden Style 211

Epilogue 219

Acknowledgments 224

Customer Reviews

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My Boyfriend Wrote a Book About Me 3.8 out of 5 based on 0 ratings. 176 reviews.
BekahSC More than 1 year ago
The ultimate test of whether a book is truly funny is whether it will make me unexpectedly burst out laughing while riding public transportation. Any sudden outburst of uncontrollable laughter is automatically classified as "crazy," and other riders will start to give you as wide a berth as possible given the confines of a packed bus. But I couldn't help myself. When she wrote about the Texas Titty Twister, I laughed. When she wrote about staying in to apply Pro-Activ to her cat's chin acne, I laughed. And when she asked a guy if he liked her "boobies," I laughed so hard I snorted. Oh, and if anyone is curious about the book her boyfriend wrote about her, it's Chad Kultgen's Average American Male.
bookholiday More than 1 year ago
An exceptional book- hard to put down. Enjoyed it
Dr_Wilson_Trivino More than 1 year ago
Break ups are hard and can be painful. Not only by feeling rejected but by replaying all the scenarios as to what cause the break up, especially if you were dumped. What can be worse than a break up, but reading about it at your local Barnes and Nobles. That is exactly that happen to Hilary Winston. In her cute and funny book My Boyfriend Wrote a Book About Me: and Other Stories I Shouldn't Share with Acquaintances, Coworkers, Taxi Drivers, Assistants, Job Interviewers, Bikini Waxers, and Ex/Current/ Future Boyfriends But Have she chronicles her life post break up. Her love, Kyle was the perfect match, they enjoyed witty humor, the Olive Garden, and baths. In solidarity I read most of this book in a bath. So she picked up this novel by Kyle and began to read about their life together that was thinly veiled in fiction. Winston reaches back to her coming of age and learning about sex. Here few sexual escapes and how she finally settled into what she thought was her life love. Unfortunately he did not see it that way. All the while she tended to her cats, endless baths, and her enjoyment of naps. She is a writer in Los Angeles and hopefully her hilarious dialogue in the book makes it to the shows she is working on. In the end, you feel for Hilary and are appreciative of her for sharing an open vulnerable dialogue of the complexity of single life.
lisa barone More than 1 year ago
Loved this book. It is different and absolutley hysterical. Winston is witty, clever and cute. Hope she writes more!!! Thoroughly enjoyed and would recommend if you are looking for fun read.
Got2bTheRedhead More than 1 year ago
I haven't laughed so much in a long time. I LOVED this book. A little crass at times (just a forewarning) but I think most any girl, single or married can relate to some of Hilary's stories. We've all thought, 'This kind of thing only happens to me'. Well Hilary proves with her candid humor that it just isn't so. Despite the ex's betrayal in the form of so-called fiction, she tells all without coming across as bitter. I read this in one day because it kept me laughing! I've already bought another copy to share with my girlfriends.
Myaa More than 1 year ago
I am only half way through the book but so far it is hilarious. I like her honesty, intelligence and the fact that she is mildly inappropriate. I hope to never have that many gay ex-boyfriends. Great read.
AVIDREADER30 More than 1 year ago
This is such a funny book. The stories are real and raw and often hysterically mortifying. We've all been there. I started skimming it and then could not put it down. I can't remember the last time I laughed out loud so much while reading.
Debra Bernstein More than 1 year ago
This book was constantly entertaining. A must read for anyone, especially those fluent in sarcasm!
Evangeline_Han More than 1 year ago
This book should have a too much info warning in its beginning. Winston did not spare blushes in this candidly written book about her boyfriends. If I were any of her boyfriends, I would be squirming in my seat. Winston pokes fun at all the heartbreaking and hilarious relationships she has been in. She describes her ex-boyfriends in telling details. More often than not, they are placed in a negative light and it seemed as if she thought that there could be no perfection in her any of her exes. It was a relief to read her self-examination at the end of her book. She keeps herself grounded by admitting that she has character weaknesses too. The more pages I turned in the book, the more I wondered if Winston had used hyperbole. Characters in the book frequently had dramatic reactions to incidents. Either they were very colorful people or their reactions were exaggerated. This book is a collection of very personal of stories. Right from page 1, Winston practiced the no holds barred attitude. I was amazed at the way she doesn't shy from being brutally honest when narrating her stories. It takes plenty of guts to publish such an intimate, telling book. The ending of the book leaves something to be desired. Winston still hasn't fully gotten over her relationship with Kyle. Perhaps, there is a sequel in works? If there is a sequel, I will definitely want to read it. The thing I enjoyed most is Winston's writing style. She writes in a casual and humorous style. She is frank and expresses her emotions well in the book. My Boyfriend Wrote A Book About Me was a hilarious collection of stories about the ups and downs of Winston's relationship life. Its openness left me a little uncomfortable sometimes, but hey, this book is about real incidents in a real person's life. As for who "Kyle" is, read this book and then do a spot of Googling!
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
I received this book as part of a goody bag from an event I attended. I thought "a free book, whatever." I decided one night as it sat on my nightstand, to start looking at it. I went right to the middle (this is not a chapter book that you must read in order) and laughed out loud. I wanted to save this book for vacation but from that point on could not put it down. Hilary Winston is an every girl's girl. She gets us because she is us. Her heartbreak and the awkwardness of coming-of-age are simply hilarious. We are not alone! :)
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
A must read!!! It made me laugh and also realize that I don't NEED any man. I've been in a relationship for 5 years now (also with a kyle) and even though I love him, if that ever fades or we fall out of love I'll survive! The ending totally made me cry!! Its a great comedy book and she is easy to relate to!
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
I read the book her ex wrote... ouch. But hers was funny short clips of guys from her whole life & it was a funny & relateable quick read. Not my favorite ever, but gave you a few laughs and had me nodding my head along in sympathy. So check it out.
Rachel Webster More than 1 year ago
One of the funniest books ive ever read
pooky53 More than 1 year ago
I finished this book in a few hours. Easy, quick, light, funny book!
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
The book starts with Hilary Winston standing in a Barnes & Noble in a panic, flipping through the book her ex-boyfriend has written about her. His book is a non-fiction book that he is trying to pass off as fiction, but it's all too real to Hilary. She wonders where she went wrong in her dating life to put her here and takes us on a trip down her memory lane. She recounts for us all her past relationships and what went wrong with them. Along the way we also learn about her disappointed family, her broken vagina, and her cats. The stories are all of the kind that you just can't make up, the kind your girlfriends make you tell over and over, but aren't 100% sure they believe. They are full of those little tiny details that are so funny that they make you laugh about an otherwise bad situation. Because these stories are true, she often leaves out names. I find myself wanting to know who is the movie star she saw naked, who she was working for when she was being sexually harrassed, and what is the name of the book written by her ex? In short, I want more.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Rambland boringy
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Still one of my favorites
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Anonymous More than 1 year ago
BEST BOOK I EVER READ!!!!!!!!! Amazing but made me cry so many times !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"""!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#!!!##!!!!!!!!!!#$"" # FUNNY AND DEPRESSING AT THE SAME TIME ;) :)
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
I expected this book to be funny .. to have a feel good ending at the very least and was extremely disappointing to find it was more depressing that it should've been.. instead of feeling good I feel terrible.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Anonymous More than 1 year ago