My Expiration Date

My Expiration Date

by Nemonica Bars
3.3 3

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My Expiration Date 3.3 out of 5 based on 0 ratings. 3 reviews.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
The spelling and grammar mistakes needed to be corrected. They were very distracting. The pacing was off. Repeatedly skipping forward in time, after just a few pages, was moving too fast. It seemed choppy. The character development was okay, for a short story, until the epilogue. Although, the idea for the plotline was interesting, it needed to be executed differently. The final chapter was disconnected from the rest of the tale. I like a happy ending, but it did not fit in with the tone of the earlier pages. The transition between the grotesque cannibal society, and happy times for all with pet animals, was missing. I was left with too many questions that went unanswered such as: How did things get better? Why did they suddenly stop "the slaughter"? Where did the previously extinct animals suddenly come from? What happened to the "breeding program"? Where are all the men during this story? It appears that each girl gets mystically pregnant before 18. Were boy children ever born? Here is just one example of the inconsistencies that really bothered me. She was supposedly eating/living alone at 14. Then a few paragraphs later, apparently, she had a daughter at 13. (Anyone with kids knows you are never alone with them around.) I have a logical problem with this whole scenario. Surely, people in the future, will still know how to farm animals and vegetables. We should never, realistically, need cannibalism to survive unless farming or ranching became impossible. Overall, it was an interesting idea that did not result in a cohesive story due to the many issues described previously. It showed us a scary nightmare world that could never come to pass. I realize now, that this review is probably longer than the narrative I read. Until next time. -AvidReader
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Flaws in sentence structure, punctuation errors and choppy story telling ruined it for me.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
So glad this world doesn't exist.......yet