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My Mighty Mother
By Texanna Fernandez
AuthorHouseCopyright © 2010 Texanna Fernandez
All right reserved.
Chapter OneHello. My name is Lasaro. I'm ten years old and this is a story about mental illness. My mother was hospitalized when I was five years old. She continued to be in and out of the special psychiatric hospital for two years. For the last two years my mother has been adapting to real life in spite of her disability disease, which is called Bipolar.
When I was five years old I of ten thought my mother had really died. She has not been in my life since then. For nights after she left I would crawl into bed with disturbing ideals that my mother had been in a position on the floor crying, screaming, and reaching f or figures that were not really present. She would spend days reaching f or figures (ghosts, people, or items) they were not real. I remember the last time I saw her. She was screaming at the end of our hallway as I was getting ready f or school one morning.
After I went to school an ambulance came and escorted my mother to the state psychiatric hospital. In just two hours from now I will be reintroduced to a woman that I have thought was dead and that was taken from my life over five years ago. I have been told by my father she has changed tremendously. She is holding down a job, taking classes, and is maintaining her own medical decisions.
There was a knock at the door. My f other went to answer the door and as I came down the stairs my mother, Alexandria walked in. She is beautiful. The long brown hair flowing down her back in a French braid, her skin is light brown from the sun, and her smile is warm, gentle, and welcoming.
As I approached her closer I didn't reach to hug her nor, did she reach in return f or a hug. Instead, she reached out to shake my hand. Her hand was shaking while she held my hand in hers. I wanted to hug her like I had when I was younger, but I understood that it was not the polite thing to do. To have felt the safety that I had once knew, when I was younger would have been nice at that moment. But I would have to wait on that hug from my mother.
That day was the beginning of a gentle, strong, and compassionate relationship between son and mother. We spent a great deal of time walking in the park, riding horses, and talking. My mother has explained to me that one day I may get Bipolar as I grow older.
I explained to her that I would handle the disease differently than her. I would work with the doctor and the treatment plan from the beginning. It has been through her strength of dealing with her weakness of the disease that she was able to become a productive member of society. She has successfully maintained a job, completed college, and gotten her disease under control.
She has shared the seven important strengths of her life with me. They are: compassion, consideration, laughter, humor, respect, love, and understanding.
The greatest weakness my mother still has is the inability of not forgiving herself for following directions of treatment over five years ago. She has told me forgiving is a self tolerant behavior that is learned over time. Life changing events have taught her to forgive herself.
Life has and will change. I am able to share in some of my daily events with my mighty mother, Alexandria - a woman of courage despite her disability.
Excerpted from My Mighty Mother by Texanna Fernandez Copyright © 2010 by Texanna Fernandez. Excerpted by permission.
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