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My Secret Bully
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My Secret Bully

4.6 3
by Trudy Ludwig, Abigail Marble (Illustrator)

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                                                THE SECRET'S OUT ON BULLYING

Here is the all-too-familiar story


                                                THE SECRET'S OUT ON BULLYING

Here is the all-too-familiar story of Monica.  She and Katie have been friends since kindergarten.  Monica loves being around her when she's nice.  But there are times when Katie can be just plain mean.  And Monica doesn't understand why.

Monica is a target of relational aggression, emotional bullying among friends who will use name-calling and manipulation to humiliate and exclude.  But with a little help from a supportive adult—her mother—Monica learns to cope and thrive by facing her fears and reclaiming power from her bully.

Including a foreword by the founder of the The Ophelia Project, as well as helpful tips, discussion questions, and additional resources, My Secret Bully is a vital resource for children, parents, teachers, and counselors.

Editorial Reviews

From the Publisher
Review, School Library Journal:
“This . . . bibliotherapeutic offering tackles the difficult topic of bullying, . . . [L]ibraries may want to purchase it because of the scarcity of material on this very important issue.”

Rachel Simmons, author of Odd Girl Out:
“Too few resources are available to families dealing with girl bullying. MY SECRET BULLY provides an important resource to help parents.”

Dr. Kathy Masarie, founder and director of FULL ESTEEM AHEAD:
“A must-read for any child who has ever been teased, ignored, or excluded by his/her peers. . . . A very useful resource for addressing social cruelty among children.”

Theresa Markowitz, Ph.D., Clinical Psychology:
"...a desperately needed tool to help parents, techers, and other professionals address the growing epidemic of relational aggression (emotional bullying)."

Children's Literature - Nancy Baumann
Even best friends can be bullies. Relational aggression is a term used for situations in which people in relationships bully and hurt friends through secret and hidden behavior. Difficult to observe or uncover, this type of bullying can be very destructive to the targets of such bullying. Monica feels this hurt from long-time best friend, Katie. It starts out with Katie whispering and laughing at Monica with some classmates. Next Katie starts turning other school friends against Monica by excluding her from games at recess. Katie accuses Monica of being overly sensitive when Monica inquires why Katie seems so mad at her for no reason. Signs of secret bullying are obvious-exclusion, whispering campaigns, and false accusations. Monica thinks she has done something wrong and does not realize she is the victim of bullying from her best friend. Finally Monica's mother notices her sadness, inquiring why she wants to stay home from school again. Hesitating, Monica finally is able to explain Katie's treatment of her. Monica is grateful for Mom's attentive listening and solution of role-playing to handle Katie. Children must hear and discuss Monica's story in order to stop this form and any other form of bullying. Included are notes to parents and teachers, links to websites and organizations involving bullying, and additional books to recommend to and share with children. Gentle watercolor and pen illustrations are able to convey Monica's pain and serious nature of the problem in real life scenes children can comprehend. Reviewer: Nancy Baumann
School Library Journal
Gr 2-5-This overtly bibliotherapeutic offering tackles the difficult topic of bullying. Monica and Katie have been friends since kindergarten, but lately Katie increasingly seeks to exclude and embarrass her pal in front of their classmates. Monica's despair and isolation are realistically portrayed and highlight the often-overlooked aggression between females. The child eventually shares her anguish with her mother, who effectively counsels her without presenting any pat solutions or easy answers. Lists of resources for adults and children and discussion points are appended. A muddy palette, uninspired renderings of the characters, and a small typeface detract substantially from the appeal of this picture book. Still, libraries may want to purchase it because of the scarcity of material on this very important issue.-Rosalyn Pierini, San Luis Obispo City-County Library, CA Copyright 2003 Reed Business Information.

Product Details

Random House Children's Books
Publication date:
Edition description:
Sales rank:
Product dimensions:
8.25(w) x 10.25(h) x 0.37(d)
Age Range:
6 - 9 Years

Read an Excerpt

Katie is my secret bully.

A lot of people would be surprised to know this because they think she's my friend.  And she does act like my friend...sometimes.

But lately, I'm not so sure.

Katie and I have known each other since kindergarten. We've spent a lot of time together because we like doing the same kinds of things: making perfumes with flowers picked from my yard, playing soccer in the rain, sharing secrets, and spying on our bossy, know-it-all brothers.

I love being around Katie when she's nice to me.  But there are times when she's not.  She can be just plain mean.

And I don't know why.

Meet the Author

TRUDY LUDWIG is a nationally acclaimed speaker and an award-winning author who specializes in writing children's books that help kids cope with and thrive in their social world, including The Invisible Boy and My Secret Bully. She has received rave reviews from educators, experts, organizations, and parents at schools and conferences around the US for her passion and compassion in addressing peer aggression and friendship issues. An active member of the International Bullying Prevention Association, Trudy also collaborates with organizations like the Committee for Children and ConnectSafely.org, and has served as content advisor for Sesame Street Workshop. Trudy's books have won the Mom's Choice Gold Award, the IBPA Gold Benjamin Franklin Award, and the NAPPA Gold Medal, and also been recognized as NCSS-CBC Notable Social Studies Books for Young People.

ABIGAIL MARBLE illustrated her first children's story in second grade, and has been making art ever since. She lives in Portland, Oregon.

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My Secret Bully 4.7 out of 5 based on 0 ratings. 3 reviews.
drumcorp0 More than 1 year ago
If the solution of her speaking to the problem is answere then the child is taught courage.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
I liked the way the author addresses this issue, it shows how to deal with it in a very smart way!
Guest More than 1 year ago
Pretty good book. It started off strong and continued throughout the book. It was about a boy named Darrel who was about to move to California from his home town of Phillidelphia. He has a lot of friends now and is happy. He happeneds to be one of the smaller kids for his age, but has big friends that have always protected him. Now he has to move to a new place with no friends and nobody to protect him. He runs in with a bully and the book revolves around that and the mental and physical goals that Darrel wants to reach. He wants to get tough and strong.The bully, Tyray, makes him pay ten dollars a week to keep from getting beat up. Read the book and see Darrels struggles and vitories over himself and other people.