Ostensibly edited by "the Vampire Miles Proctor" (nee Miles Mrockofijev, a New Yorker since 1907) this tongue-in-cheek (fang-in-neck?) volume should net a broad audience among just about every sector of the pop culture landscape: fans of Twilight, TV's True Blood (or Charlaine Harris's Sookie Stackhouse) and those works' legion of facsimiles in books, TV, movies, video games and the internet. A guide for freshly minted vampires attempting to navigate a new world of near-unlimited power, this work is supposed to be the end-product of 450-plus years of vampire experience. In reality, this cavalcade of vampire satire draws from some of the talented minds behind The Onion, arguably America's finest satirical news source, covering topics from health (oral hygiene kits typically include a file, pliers and a flathead screwdriver) to relationships ( "What to Do if You See a Human You Knew Decades Ago") to practical matters (relocating, faking your way through a meal) with grim silliness. Maintaining a dead-serious tone, this guide takes a giggle-inducing, undeniably comprehensive look at the absurdity of life among with undead. B/w photos and illustrations throughout.
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