The New Vampire's Handbook: A Guide for the Recently Turned Creature of the Night

The New Vampire's Handbook: A Guide for the Recently Turned Creature of the Night

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Overview

The New Vampire's Handbook: A Guide for the Recently Turned Creature of the Night by Joe Garden, Janet Ginsburg, Chris Pauls, Anita Serwacki

Being turned into a vampire is the easy part.
Actually becoming a vampire is far more difficult.

In today’s world of vampire-obsessed pop culture, misinformation abounds. A newly turned vampire who looks to movies and novels for answers to everlasting life’s questions will inevitably be reduced to a smoldering pile of dust. So whom can you, a neophyte immortal, trust to provide reliable information and proven strategies for leading your best and bloodiest existence? The Vampire Miles Proctor, editor of The New Vampire’s Handbook. In this definitive guide, the newly turned will find

• a head-to-toe look at your vampiric body: how to harness your new powers to dispatch mortal enemies, maintain your fangs, and embrace your vampirosexuality
• methods for luring prey, faking your way through meals, approaching other vampires, and creating a four-hundred-year financial plan
• tips on acting your “age,” behaving appropriately if you see a human you knew decades ago, and dealing with epic vampire feuds
• essential advice for blending in with the masses, from finding a coven to avoiding the media (and mirrors) to staying on top of the latest fashion trends
• the joy of scrapbooking

Plus helpful online resources, a glyph guide, renovation instructions for emergency lairs, a Ruling Families directory, nightly mantras, and personal anecdotes from The Vampire Miles Proctor’s nearly five hundred years of experience.

Welcome to the night.


From the Trade Paperback edition.

Product Details

ISBN-13: 9780345516640
Publisher: Random House Publishing Group
Publication date: 09/08/2009
Sold by: Random House
Format: NOOK Book
Pages: 240
Sales rank: 929,494
File size: 7 MB

About the Author

Fluffy and Bonkers wrote this parody without authorization, because since when did a cat need permission for anything?

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New Vampire's Handbook: A Guide for the Recently Turned Creature of the Night 3.5 out of 5 based on 0 ratings. 10 reviews.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
IM ALREADY A VAMPIRE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Okay
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
This book is wonderfully genius
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