No More Faking Fine: Ending the Pretending

by Esther Fleece Allen, Louie and Shelley Giglio (Foreword by)

Overview

Scripture reveals a God who meets us where we are, not where we pretend to be. No More Faking Fine is your invitation to get gut-level honest with God through the life-giving language of lament.

If you've ever been given empty clichés during challenging times, you know how painful it can feel to be misunderstood by well-meaning people. When life hurts hard, we often feel pressure—from others and ourselves—to keep it together, to suck it up, or pray it away. But Scripture reveals a God who lovingly invites us to give honest voice to our emotions when life hurts hard.

For most of her life, Esther Fleece Allen believed she could bypass the painful emotions of her broken past by shutting them down altogether. She was known by all as an achiever and an overcomer on the fast track to success. But in silencing her pain, she robbed herself of the opportunity to be healed. Maybe you've done the same.

Esther's journey into healing began when she discovered that God has given us a real-world way to deal with our raw emotions and an alternative to the coping mechanisms that end up causing more pain. It's called lament—the gut-level, honest prayer that God never ignores, never silences, and never wastes.

No More Faking Fine is your permission to lament, taking you on a journey down the unexpected pathway to true intimacy with God. Drawing from careful biblical study and hard-won insight, Esther reveals how to use God's own language to come closer to him as he leads us through our pain to the light on the other side.

And, like Esther, you'll soon find that when one person stops faking fine, it gives permission to everyone else to do the same.

Product Details

ISBN-13:	9780310344759
Publisher:	Zondervan
Publication date:	01/10/2017
Pages:	224
Sales rank:	190,388
Product dimensions:	8.20(w) x 5.40(h) x 0.70(d)

About the Author

Esther Fleece Allen loves to connect people around the world to practical, faith-centered tools for living through every season, good and bad. Esther is a graduate of the Oxford Centre for Christian Apologetics and is currently in seminary. When she's not traveling to speak or teach, she enjoys making a home with her husband and children. Keep up with Esther's growing family and global adventures at Esther Fleece Allen.com.

Editorial Reviews

10/10/2016
Fleece, international speaker, founder and CEO of L&L Consulting, encourages readers to lament past pain and heal through God by accepting disappointment instead of pushing negative experiences away. Her difficult childhood and young adulthood are detailed throughout the book: she suffered heart-breaking paternal neglect and abuse, as well as cruel rejection from her mother and grandmother, and she spent years evading her felonious stalker father. Fleece survived and thrived. After college, she rose through the corporate ranks at New Iron Media before leaving as a vice-president at age 25 to lead millennial outreach for Focus on the Family, a nonprofit. Although her reputation and perseverance will certainly bring readers to her story, succeeding financially or professionally is not the point of the book. Fleece is more concerned with how she “faked” her way, as she says, into her many successes. She writes of the ultimate bankruptcy of “faking fine,” championing instead the value of recognizing and naming pain through the long biblical and religious tradition of lament. Passionately encouraging readers to create space for authentic self-reflection in Christian life and practice, Fleece should gain a whole new audience with this book. (Jan.)

Publishers Weekly

How we grieve is directly related to how we heal. Esther Fleece introduces the language of lament and argues persuasively that this is a prayer God never ignores. No More Faking Fine is a book for anyone wrestling with the unavoidable tension created when the faithful suffer.

Andy Stanley

Esther Fleece’s powerful story encourages us to be honest to God and to each other. Life isn’t easy in a world under the curse, nor does God intend it to be. The poison of prosperity theology has set up countless Christians for disillusionment because they’ve been told they’re supposed to always be healthy, wealthy, successful, popular, and “just fine.” As Esther demonstrates, we need the authenticity of David and the prophets and Paul and, above all, Jesus, recognizing that God will be with us when our hearts are broken. He can infuse us with joy even when we are suffering. One day, God’s children will “live happily ever after.” Until that day comes, let’s give ourselves and each other permission to grieve and feel pain, loss, and discouragement. In other words, let’s quit faking fine so we can gladly embrace together the comfort of Jesus.

founder and director of Eternal Perspective Minist Randy Alcorn

I need this book. We need this book. We are a people who live in a world of increasing virtual reality, honing to a fine art the wearing of masks. God is calling us, through the tragedy of Esther Fleece’s story, to a contrite and humble lament. He is calling His people to weep before Him because their own brokenness and the brokenness of the world around them is so tragically not what it should be. It is only in this true honesty before God that we will find the comfort of His grace and peace and our eventual healing.

creator of Focus on the Family’s The Truth P Dr. Del Tackett

I have walked with Jesus my entire adult life and never read anything so powerful calling us to lament. Esther Fleece is the real deal. Her life is a genuine lament of brokenness and celebration of God’s redemption.

president of Authentic Intimacy Dr. Juli Slattery

Esther Fleece has always been a voice of encouragement and hope to me and many others. In No More Faking Fine, she brings hope by courageously pulling back the curtain on her life and guiding us through the valley of tears. The result is a recovery of lament as a form of praise and a pathway to hope. To lament is to bear witness to a God who sees and hears, heals and answers—a God who will one day wipe away every tear and make all things new.

Glenn Packiam

Esther Fleece and I have shared many lamenting moments through the years, and I’m thrilled she is now sharing her journey with such honesty and wisdom. Yes, heartache is real, but so is redemption, and on these pages, you’ll see how these two can coexist in a way that feels more like a gift than a cross.

speaker and author of Climbing the Ladder in Stile Lynette Lewis

In this much-needed book, Esther Fleece provides an honest account of her journey toward the biblical practice of lamenting. Learning the language of lament can be difficult, but Esther writes as a friend linking arms and walking alongside the reader in a journey of discovery. The pages of this book are drenched in Scripture, which encouraged my awareness that I am permitted to lament and sharpened my understanding of God and his character. Esther’s undeniable affection for the Bible and her firm hold on what God says in his Word are affirming. She reminds us that when we are in unstable times, we have a firm foundation to turn to in God’s Word.

corporate ambassador for Hobby Lobby and third-gen Lauren Green Mc Afee

Esther Fleece is a gift to the church. No More Faking Fine is just the book many Christians need to understand the biblical call to lament. The only way out of the valley of sorrow is through the path of lament. Let Fleece be your guide on the journey to joy.

executive vice president of the Ethics and Religio Phillip Bethancourt

Esther Fleece writes an authentic and vulnerable book that we all need to read. Esther helps us to recover the language and practice of lament. This is for anyone who has been disappointed in life but is determined to overcome and live honestly and sincerely.

Brady Boyd

For many of us, when someone asks how we’re doing, our automatic response is “fine”—even when we aren’t. Esther Fleece transparently shares her story of “faking fine” until she couldn’t anymore—and how God has brought emotional healing as she learned to stop pretending. This is an encouraging and helpful book.

president of Focus on the Family Jim Daly

No More Faking Fine deepened and solidified my understanding of bringing God into every part of my life, especially when it comes to difficulties and grief. I know this will help heal, challenge, and encourage people wherever they are in life. This is such a needed book for our time!

#1 New York Times bestselling author and personal Rachel Cruze

In a culture full of facades, Esther Fleece unpacks the vital and overlooked role of honest lament in our complete healing from life’s harshest storms. No More Faking Fine leads us on a biblical yet scarcely traveled road, where God meets us in the midst of our deepest pain, in ways unlike any we could possibly experience in our greatest victories.

National Football League tight end and author Benjamin Watson

Esther Fleece exposes her personal pain to us in this book. She exposes what that pain did to distort her reality and shift her from truly trusting that God is near. Her pain forced her to the Scriptures, and the Scriptures exposed a way through the pain. This book is a gift to be led through the Word in this way—to be encouraged to give voice to our destructive thoughts and memories, to receive permission to let it all out to God. There is no judgment of our hurt or our painful experiences. All are worthy to be heard by God. Thank you, Esther, for sharing your story and teaching us to be free to lament.

ESPN analyst and retired NFL quarterback Sarah and Matthew Hasselbeck

Many days, it just feels easier to fake being fine. Esther Fleece’s powerful voice for lament, beautifully told through her splintered story, allures me into authenticity before God. She invites us to this ancient, yet out-of-fashion way and introduces another side of God to those of us who are hungry for more than those pat answers to what aches within our insides.

author of Every Bitter Thing Is Sweet Sara Hagerty

Esther Fleece truly displays the courage of her biblical namesake in this book. Expressing grief, pain, and doubt can be dangerous in our current culture, even in the church. She brilliantly lays out the case for choosing vulnerability rather than inauthenticity and demonstrates how God’s glory is revealed through every aspect of the human experience, including—maybe especially—lament.

Kirsten Haglund

No More Faking Fine is a desperately needed book, helping all Christians who have felt obligated to hide their hurt, pain, grief, and rejection and put on a fake happy face. This book provides a pathway to experiencing the joy and peace that come with being honest with God and with each other about our inner pain and grief. Well done!

president of Southern Evangelical Seminary Dr. Richard Land

Dear reader: This book is your permission. To hurt, to cry, to scream, to grieve, to feel. And on the other side of that lament is a journey more beautiful—and a God more near—than you could have ever imagined.

author of Twenty-Two Allison Trowbridge

In this much-needed book, Esther Fleece provides an honest account of her journey toward the biblical practice of lamenting. Learning the language of lament can be difficult, but Esther writes as a friend linking arms and walking alongside the reader in a journey of discovery. The pages of this book are drenched in Scripture, which encouraged my awareness that I am permitted to lament and sharpened my understanding of God and his character. Esther’s undeniable affection for the Bible and her firm hold on what God says in his Word are affirming. She reminds us that when we are in unstable times, we have a firm foundation to turn to in God’s Word.

corporate ambassador for Hobby Lobby and third-gen Lauren Green McAfee

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