No One Understands You and What to Do About It

No One Understands You and What to Do About It

by Heidi Grant Halvorson

Paperback(Bilingual)

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Overview

Have you ever felt you’re not getting through to the person you’re talking to, or not coming across the way you intend? You’re not alone.

That’s the bad news. But there is something we can do about it. Heidi Grant Halvorson, social psychologist and bestselling author, explains why we’re often misunderstood and how we can fix that.

Most of us assume that other people see us as we see ourselves, and that they see us as we truly are. But neither is true. Our everyday interactions are colored by subtle biases that distort how others see us—and also shape our perceptions of them.

You can learn to clarify the message you’re sending once you understand the lenses that shape perception:

Trust. Are you friend or foe?
Power. How much influence do you have over me?
Ego. Do you make me feel insecure?

Based on decades of research in psychology and social science, Halvorson explains how these lenses affect our interactions—and how to manage them.

Once you understand the science of perception, you’ll communicate more clearly, send the messages you intend to send, and improve your personal relationships. You’ll also become a fairer and more accurate judge of others. Halvorson even offers an evidence-based action plan for repairing a damaged reputation.

This book is not about making a good impression, although it will certainly help you do that. It’s about coming across as you intend. It’s about the authenticity we all strive for.

Product Details

ISBN-13: 9781625274120
Publisher: Harvard Business Review Press
Publication date: 04/14/2015
Edition description: Bilingual
Pages: 224
Sales rank: 610,962
Product dimensions: 5.40(w) x 8.10(h) x 0.70(d)

About the Author

Heidi Grant, PhD , is a social psychologist who researches, writes, and speaks about the science of motivation. She is Global Director of Research & Development at the NeuroLeadership Institute and serves as Associate Director of Columbia's Motivation Science Center. She received her doctorate in social psychology from Columbia University.

Table of Contents

Introduction: How They See You, How They Don't 1

Part I Why It's So Hard to Understand Each Other

1 You Are Surprisingly Hard to Understand 9

2 Your Observers Are Cognitive Misers (and So Are You) 21

3 The Two Phases of Perceiving People 41

Part II The Lenses That Shape Perception

4 The Trust Lens 65

5 The Power Lens 85

6 The Ego Lens 103

Part III Lenses for Particular Personalities

7 Eager Reward-Seekers and Vigilant Risk-Mitigators 129

8 The Clingy, Anxious Perceiver and the Aloof, Avoidant Perceiver 147

Part IV Being Seen, and Seeing Others, More Accurately

9 Correcting Bad Impressions and Overcoming Misunderstandings 165

Conclusion: Becoming a Better Judge of Others-and of Yourself 187

Notes 193

Index 201

Acknowledgments 211

About the Author 213

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