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Have you ever felt you’re not getting through to the person you’re talking to, or not coming across the way you intend? You’re not alone.
That’s the bad news. But there is something we can do about it. Heidi Grant Halvorson, social psychologist and bestselling author, explains why we’re often misunderstood and how we can fix that.
Most of us assume that other people see us as we see ourselves, and that they see us as we truly are. But neither is true. Our everyday interactions are colored by subtle biases that distort how others see usand also shape our perceptions of them.
You can learn to clarify the message you’re sending once you understand the lenses that shape perception:
Trust. Are you friend or foe?
Power. How much influence do you have over me?
Ego. Do you make me feel insecure?
Based on decades of research in psychology and social science, Halvorson explains how these lenses affect our interactionsand how to manage them.
Once you understand the science of perception, you’ll communicate more clearly, send the messages you intend to send, and improve your personal relationships. You’ll also become a fairer and more accurate judge of others. Halvorson even offers an evidence-based action plan for repairing a damaged reputation.
This book is not about making a good impression, although it will certainly help you do that. It’s about coming across as you intend. It’s about the authenticity we all strive for.
|Publisher:||Harvard Business Review Press|
|Product dimensions:||5.40(w) x 8.10(h) x 0.70(d)|
About the Author
Heidi Grant, PhD, is a social psychologist who researches, writes, and speaks about the science of motivation. She is Global Director of Research & Development at the NeuroLeadership Institute and serves as Associate Director of Columbia's Motivation Science Center. She received her doctorate in social psychology from Columbia University.
Table of Contents
Introduction: How They See You, How They Don't 1
Part I Why It's So Hard to Understand Each Other
1 You Are Surprisingly Hard to Understand 9
2 Your Observers Are Cognitive Misers (and So Are You) 21
3 The Two Phases of Perceiving People 41
Part II The Lenses That Shape Perception
4 The Trust Lens 65
5 The Power Lens 85
6 The Ego Lens 103
Part III Lenses for Particular Personalities
7 Eager Reward-Seekers and Vigilant Risk-Mitigators 129
8 The Clingy, Anxious Perceiver and the Aloof, Avoidant Perceiver 147
Part IV Being Seen, and Seeing Others, More Accurately
9 Correcting Bad Impressions and Overcoming Misunderstandings 165
Conclusion: Becoming a Better Judge of Others-and of Yourself 187
About the Author 213
Most Helpful Customer Reviews
Truth be told, the title grabbed me. Perhaps because each of us is often misunderstood. And I was eager to learn what to do about it. This book explained that we are not seen as we appear to ourselves. I get it. What I didn't get was what to do about it. I found suggestions for how to view other people. Good stuff. And still felt a bit underwhelmed with how I can influence how I'm understood. Interesting, nonetheless.