This book is about a journey of one thousand tears and a smile. It's a stroll along the rocky shore of memories, a visit to the ruins of dreams and a voyage across the hazardous ocean of life. The idea started as a challenge to break through the boundaries of silence, to prove that the soul has its own sanctuaries and that only those who absorb its suffering manage to fathom its depths. Whether Shams has succeeded in revealing the tales of her soul or not is yet to be found through the pages of this book.
|Product dimensions:||6.00(w) x 9.00(h) x 0.26(d)|
Read an Excerpt
By Shams Al.Saeedi
AuthorHouseCopyright © 2011 Shams Al.Saeedi
All right reserved.
The ethereal touch of transparency
in which your soul revels,
is a question of wonder ...
You fly across our scavenger-ruled sky,
a small bird with a titanic heart
sweating droplets of brightness ...
Then land among the hearts
with an unfailing buoyancy,
a whiff of fragrant breeze clearing
away the beads of sadness
dwelling on the foreheads
But the vessels of life steer you
away from our sights in prolonged
journeys, till it falls in our hearts
that your absence is perpetual.
We almost drown in the belief,
when unexpectedly you flood back,
untainted with the wasteland
of forgetfulness, beaming with
a familiar smile!
Unconsumed by malice,
you wander delicately like
an affable apparition,
unobstructed by the barrier
of boundaries ...
Sweet, bitter March,
last year tears haven't dried out up till now and yet you
are already at the door, knocking lightly!
Sadness is still flapping over my head like
a frantic goose, what have you brought with you
to silence its primordial honking?!
I can see your hunched silhouette against the wall
Of my waiting, standing awash with shame,
wringing your empty hands desperately!
O' March, anniversary of tears and smiles,
Memories are pacing around nostalgically, sniffing
the withered roses, leafing through the pages of books
trying to put the haphazard leftovers of a once
beautiful image into shape ...
The hurricane that accompanied you once
has subdued, leaving behind a nerve-tearing silence and
a deracinated life!
Don't wonder; rootless hopes are still roving
over the corpse of a long dead dream, taking
strength from the ever pulsating stars ...
March, March, embracer of birth and death,
the breath of eternity has abandoned
your rosy-cheeked child..
The resonance of its happy giggles are
haunting the vacant hours of night, sending me
reeling of longing!
Its face emerges from among the clouds of years, an angelic
Vision imprinted on the face of a mourning moon!
And you, in your comfy bubble
scrutinize your world with a possessive
dedication, unaware of the fire you
are raging in the oars of a sailing
heart, navigating the bitter ocean of life
with its gigantic tricky whirlpools.
Have you seen its persistent voyages
get hampered by the enormity of fates!
Its immaculate ships sinking down
the deceitful foam of the ocean..
Have you seen them being reborn
out of their wreckages laying on the
periphery of waiting..
Then sailing ahead, leaving behind
unfinished tales and the howl
of a tormenting wind!
Shriveling in loneliness
Shriveling in loneliness
Like a leaf swept away
From its green paradise!
It yields unwillingly to
The mischievous wind,
Tossing it about playfully!
Drained out of color, it
Weeps now in silence when
It hears the joyful rustle
Of leaves around!
It longs for the touch of the
Sparkling dewdrops and the
Warmth of the sunrays!
But it's unapproachable now for
loneliness has injected its world
With ghastly coldness!!
Even the butterflies have
Abandoned its horizons..........
It hears at night the crackling
of a fire nearby devouring something
familiar ... and curls up in an insufferable
dread of a close end!!!
Life is beautiful!
Once in a while,
The paint of our lives starts to flake
And our days wear a colorless face..
We look ahead at the extending miles
But we fail to pick which path to take!
Finality floats in our decaying space
Draining our souls of their twittering smiles!
In the chimneys of our hearts misery dwells
Stifling the glowing spark inside
With a feeling of unfairness we start to swell
And in a carriage of self-pity we take a ride!
We forget that God is watching from above
Our writhing hearts are in His caring hand
Feeding them with the grains of eternal love
Summoning us to His heavenly land
See the birds on the moist branches
Swaying with the breeze, tittering with delight,
Devouring the view of the nearby ranches
Once they feel the touch of light!
Life is beautiful ...
For no matter how long is the lonely hour
or how much our hearts with pain are torn,
on the banks of a tear, a smile shall flower
and out of hurts, strength is to be born.
The ebb and flow of life has gathered
sadness at your sand-glistening shore !
but be aware my friend for sadness is
cancerous, it thrives in silence....
Negligence gives it a room to destroy
The tissue of your days and steal their scent ...
And yet you are standing there swathed into its
Gurgling foam allowing it to coil around your heart
Like a deadly serpent!
Reeling from suffocation, you allow its weight
To drown you further,
To clothe you into the ragged dress of weakness,
throwing away every particle of
Don't blame me if I laid out the fruit of my mind
Across your table for once and then took to silence
Or if I haven't consoled you like a real friend
With a spray of awkward words and a pat
On the back,
for I wanted you to breathe the infinite strength
of your soul back into your stifled heart,
to see the sparkling water that lies under
the illusory foam !
In the arms of the clouds
In the arms of the clouds you dream to stay,
To Lean against their fluffy texture, taking in
The width of the sky in your embrace,
Untroubled with the nerve-racking
details of every day!
Tired you are of the deafening Shuffle of life
around the hushed sanctuary of your thoughts!
Of the invasion of the indecorous voices,
Their trespassing the refined fences of your
In the immaculate hold of the clouds,
You shall scrutinize the dramatic
Flurry of the birds and your thoughts will take
A ride on their wings to where thousands
Of dreams sleep wrapped up in the coverlet
Of spring flowers.
They will Witness the moon rising out of its
eclipse to ascend the shrine of beauty while
ghost-like stars are floating languidly nearby,
drowning lilies fighting for survival!
I'm waiting for you, to strike every string
of the day, to fill it with mellowed cadence,
to calm down its quivering dawns,
and pacify the chaotic intrigue of the morning.
I'm waiting for you to untie the obstinate knots,
blocking the windpipe of my heart,
To draw a rainbow across my lackluster sky ...
So slow you are in your climbing of
the branches of my day, so cautious as
not to palpitate their stillness!
You stay at the margins, counting the
materializing stars before stepping in..
So systematic you are, even in the
lawless jungle of feelings!
In a reply to " Life is not beautiful"
Your words, my friend, have a streak of truth
Although you are still in the prime of youth,
Already standing at the shore of your dreams
Wondering at life's treacherous schemes!
The face of reality is disfigured by scars
Don't look at it, look up at the stars
A galaxy of beauty with your eyes weave
The ravages of the storm will suddenly leave
Even if to Mars you decide to depart
As long as sadness inhabits your heart,
Horrible life to you shall always seem,
A bunch of hurts and a broken dream!
Darkness one day shall be chased away
And your heart will be freed of its dismay
Its pieces with triumph shall get together,
chasing the gloom and the storms shall weather
Life is beautiful, you have got to believe,
no matter how much you're stricken with grieve!
Beauty doesn't bloom in the swamps of life
But rather in the hearts that struggle and strive!
Weaving a poem
Poets take hold of one thread,
ponder it, turn it over to question its strength.
They brush it against the azure face of the sky,
dip it in the warmth of the sun, teach it the language
of water and the whispers of the wind ...
Wrap it around the crystal droplets of rain
falling on a ravenous narcissi.
Then wait with the faith of a hermit for the
breath of the night to blow about disoriented
threads out of the silver aura of the moonlight
and the intermingled zephyr of the seasons.
Dangling them from the gold-dripping edges
of stars, they weave them into a galaxy
Of feelings mixed with the wildness
of life ...
My heart has been woven of
The burdens of broken dreams
And the pain of separation!
For years the sun couldn't
Penetrate its unwelcoming windows!!
Its land has turned barren!
I thought its bleakness was infinite!
But your presence made it again suckle
the rays of the sun
And spring flowers bloomed
Flowers which wore the color of the sun!
and bore the scent of hope!
I gathered them with trembling hands
And offered them to you!
But their swelling aura alarmed your discreet soul!
And they were returned to me
Though I watered them with the rain
of my eyes, the wind of sadness poisoned
its droplets and my flowers withered!
My beautiful father
My sadness upon your death
Is a lamenting dove, locked up in the deep
hollows of my soul, longing to get free, to
water the grass of sadness with lasting weeping!
Being woven into the ever new fabric of
my memory, I see you imprinted, a permanent
image, on the face of our bereaved house!
The dawn is missing the echo of your strong strides
shattering its unscathed stillness!
The splashing of water in its icy hours and
the clink-clacking of your loyal cane against
the dewy pebbles is, to the dawn, an unreadable absence ...
Your long silence punctuated by murmurs of prayers
is still coursing its way through the veins of memory
Father, father! Fridays are asking for your immaculate
clothes dripping whiteness to scribble a promise of
enlivening their rituals on the page of their spirituality!
Unaware of your eternal absence, your beads, laying
on the grave of silence, are craving your feverish
fingering at the closing of every day!
How can I explain to them that you are forever
gone while every day, every place
everything is throbbing with you!
The hanging gardens
So taken I was of their sparkling green shrubs
dangling from the high terraces,
the hanging gardens of your heart,
Unpredictably, yielded rotten fruit ...
The seven wonders of you have toppled!
Leaving you standing bare
On a heap of lies!
The language of hearts
Hearts don't comprehend the impeding
Language of distance!
Their vigorous pulses knit their own language
out of the alphabets of silent longing..
with savage cravings, they grip the fading
threads of possibilities, lock it away
from the conspiring whispers of the unattainable.
Then float buoyantly along their self-created
path, narrating the anecdote of their enigmatic
journeys with a waning smile..
For your eyes
I'm abandoning my solitary moon to land
among a cluster of stars articulating the
alphabet of your fragrant name..
The touch of your words is flowering into a long-deserted
poetry clearing away the mist blocking the
view of a long-treaded path ...
For your eyes,
I 'm breaking through the boundaries
of silence to disperse the accumulating clouds
of regret brooding over the horizon of your
lily-white soul, allowing the resilience of solace
to filter through a distraught spirit....
For your eyes,
I'm snatching some precious minutes
from the treasury of my time, turn them
into words to plant them in the fertile
land of your heart,
in a hope that they yield blossoms
of joy adorning the lingering
distance stretching between the
cities of our hearts!
The lustrous surface of your sea is
urging me to drown in its intriguing blue.
Afraid to go further, I stand hesitantly at
your mysterious shore, yet allowing your
tides to lick my soul!
Your waves grow in me rapidly,
clogging the flow of my breathing!
I hark keenly to the whispers of the cowries
wishing to unfold the secrets of your
In my dreams, I invade that misty
portion of you, dismember it into
crystal clear droplets which
permit me to see through the secretive
fabric of you, to transfigure fractioned
doubts into certainties ...
Your heart, edged in mysterious sweetness
becomes the center of gravity,
drawing the straying grains of my
Being into its infinite grip ...
And I so wrapped up in this ageless
shawl of sadness find a refuge in this
turmoil of tussling emotions to elude
a devious stillness..
Baffled by a sudden downpour of stars....
I lose my orientation,
Standing on the thin line separating
reality from dreams, I wait for
my compass to adjust,
Its hands quiver, unable to decide!
Half-awakened, I try to break away from
that moment of chaotic vagueness to
Cling to the strands outstretching
from the glow of stars....
Travelling into swirls of light
and darkness, the heavy weight
Of the paradox pulls me down to
a wavering ground.
Menacing footprints of countless calamities
dim the glistening sand of rosy
Life, once more, witnesses a smirk curving
Its way across the face of the universe at the stroke
of fate imprinting its victory on the
chronicle of my heart.....
Now that I'm home,
let me take a moment of rest, my journey was long
I got lost so many times en route home.
My heart nestled in a cloud of sadness
in a forsaken land, so populated with
foul-smelling swamps wearing the fake look
of graceful streams.
So anesthetized by the consciousness
of loss, fake moments of euphoria
blindfolded me, I almost fell into the pitfall!
Ah, how I longed for home,
how it washed through me like lightning
taking me to its scented meadows, its roses
seeking me at the rich hours of sunsets
to breathe into my soul a whiff of serenity....
How I begged, pleaded to be back!
How the swelling stench of the swamps
emerged erratically out of these moments
of longing, how I loathed it.
Scrambling frantically for a way out,
I fell eventually into the safe hands of home!!
A celebrated departure
The sun, in its ceremonial departure, is
a spark of beauty escorted by blasts of
Admiring its own beauty, it extends its golden
arms across the height of the mountains
trying desperately, like the self-enamored Narcissus,
to reach down to its splendid
The army of darkness creeps out of every corner
in swift paces, alarmed of a kindled reunion!
shrouded in impassable fog,
The beauty of your radiant soul
seeps through the meticulous
fine sieve of our hearts, effortlessly,
calming the fury of their shivering
with an aura of soothing warmth!
The blazing embers of your mind
Burst the land of your thoughts
Into flames ....
Emeralds of wisdom crystallize
The interlaced orbits of our
lives, overwhelmed by their dazzling
tint, rotate around them vigilantly!!
On the drab walls of despondency
you sprinkle daisies of flawless joy,
Spring eludes the seasons, to launch
Eternally into the heart of the minutes!!
Millions of whys
Millions of whys float languidly
between the two extremes
of Empedocles, pilgrims of truth
seeking answers in the obscure
labyrinth of hearts!
The sudden spasm of savage
pain accelerates their pace
tossing them in the quicksand
Of turmoil ...
The ephemeral peace, built out of the
Straws of helplessness collapses
under the unbearable
weight of commotion!!
Spring up from the unfathomable
pits Of the unconscious ...
Slashing the flimsy scraps of
Silence reigns, the whys regain
their languid floating in the dense
slouches of ambiguity, incubating yet
the birth of another cyclone of havoc,
they wait for silence to lose again its grip
on the rippling flow of restless
Mon ami, the dense fabric of life
caught us in its sticky cobwebs!
Wrapping its cutting strings
around the throats of our days,
Squeezing us to the last drop!
How we hold our breaths
in fearful anticipations of what lays
beyond the thick fog of our destinies..
How like I a leech, I cling to you
for survival ...
Feeding on the gripping aura of
warmth surrounding you, to
melt out the frost that
has been accumulating around
my heart for ages....
Drinking your presence in these moments
which Life spares me like an addictive elixir!!
Mon ami, mon ami
our moon-starved lives are bleeding darkness,
when your life brushes against mine it strikes flint
in the dimming vessels of my horizons ...
Yet, this bitterness is inconsolable
I'm choking with your indigestible
Absence, wishing to change the course
Excerpted from Nostalgic droplets by Shams Al.Saeedi Copyright © 2011 by Shams Al.Saeedi. Excerpted by permission of AuthorHouse. All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
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