Not Exactly Rocket Scientists and Other Stories

Not Exactly Rocket Scientists and Other Stories

Not Exactly Rocket Scientists and Other Stories

Not Exactly Rocket Scientists and Other Stories


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“We were goofballs, and magnets for mischief. Pinheads, really. Boys who managed to screw up just about everything, everywhere: scouts, camp, school, dancing lessons, church, vacations, team sports, bowling, first dates, and summer jobs. You name it…”

In these stories of misadventures from small town mid-20th century America, three lifelong buddies celebrate the fragile magic of youth, the enduring miracle of friendship, and the gift of fondly remembered tales told with laughter and tears. The zany, wondrous and sometimes bittersweet journey of their youth rested squarely on the broad shoulders of the Greatest Generation, grown-ups who really did know best, and whose patience and grace allowed their offspring to grow up gently.


Tony Dow (“Wally” on “Leave It To Beaver” TV series): “What fun! It was like I was hanging out with Lumpy, Eddie and the guys from our show again. Every adult will be able to see something of themselves in these great stories of youth. They are a must read for anyone who longs for the simple, innocent fun of growing up with the spirit of the 50’s and 60’s. I feel like I know these three loveable goofballs and wish I could have spent more time being with them. Rocket Scientists should be a television series itself, underscoring the sweetness, innocence, and simplicity that have passed us by.”

Pat Conroy (Novelist, “The Great Santini,” “My Losing Season,” “The Prince of Tides”):

“A great book about friendship, growing up in the fifties, and a lost America that will never come again.”

Amanda Forbes Silva (Essayist): “Between the parenting prowess of the Greatest Generation and the luck that allows us to eventually recount our childhoods, ROCKET SCIENTISTS WE WERE NOT reveals a world of innocence and adventure. As a reader who grew up in a world more often animated on screens than schoolyards, these stories bridge a distinct past with a present readership that—fingers crossed—will inspire future generations to look up from their screens and seek adventures of their own design.”

Product Details

ISBN-13: 9781683488514
Publisher: Page Publishing, Inc.
Publication date: 04/17/2017
Pages: 328
Sales rank: 1,105,317
Product dimensions: 5.90(w) x 8.30(h) x 0.80(d)

Table of Contents

From The Authors 9

By Way of Introduction

Not Exactly Rocket Scientists 17

Good Sports All

Banned For Life 31

The Commissioner 37

Poor Bastard 49

Mr. Jaeger, Mr. Jaeger, Bobby Don't Feel Too Good! 53

The Short Hills Detroits 59

God Bless You, Harry Chiti, Wherever You Are 70

Mister, I Can't Even See You! 81

Eat A Mad, Newk 85

You Win Some 92

And You Lose Some 102

Rusty, The Wonder Dog Of Essex County 113


Please, Mrs. Penalty, Not The Faulkner 125

Sinking The Bismark 131

Mr. Barkle Loses It 138

First Date 148

The Dancing Bear's Carnival Surprise 154

What Was That Again, Coach? 159

At Least She Had Fun 166

The Camden Kid 180

The Great Ripple Tank Disaster 185

Shit, We Forgot The Eggs 192

Got A Tip? 195

Suds Cuts It Close 204

Less Than Divine Interventions

The Great Collection Plate Disaster 213

The Great Cross Disaster 219

The Great Mite Box Disaster 223

More Misadventures

The Homesicks 231

Son, I'd Be Happy To 240

Son Of A Hitch 250

I'll Have A Manhattan 255

Fat Jack D' Mazzo And The Fantabulous Fart-A-Phone 265

This Is No Fun 274

The Captain Bill 285

So Thais How She Got The Bird 296

And That's How We Earned Our Chops 304


The Most Important Photograph I Never Saw 311

Afterword 317

Acknowledgments 323

About The Authors 325

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