Not That Bad: Dispatches from Rape Culture

by Roxane Gay

Overview

New York Times Bestseller

Edited and with an introduction by Roxane Gay, the New York Times bestselling and deeply beloved author of Bad Feminist and Hunger, this anthology of first-person essays from writers including Gabrielle Union, Brandon Taylor, and Lyz Lenz tackles rape, assault, and harassment head-on.

In this valuable and revealing anthology, cultural critic and bestselling author Roxane Gay collects original and previously published pieces that address what it means to live in a world where women have to measure the harassment, violence, and aggression they face, and where they are “routinely second-guessed, blown off, discredited, denigrated, besmirched, belittled, patronized, mocked, shamed, gaslit, insulted, bullied” for speaking out. Contributions include essays from established and up-and-coming writers, performers, and critics, including actors Ally Sheedy and Gabrielle Union and writers Amy Jo Burns, Booker Prize-nominated Brandon Taylor, and Lyz Lenz. 

Covering a wide range of topics and experiences, from an exploration of the rape epidemic embedded in the refugee crisis to first-person accounts of child molestation, this collection is often deeply personal and is always unflinchingly honest. Like Rebecca Solnit’s Men Explain Things to Me, Not That Bad will resonate with every reader, saying “something in totality that we cannot say alone.”

Searing and heartbreakingly candid, this provocative collection both reflects the world we live in and offers a call to arms insisting that “not that bad” must no longer be good enough.

Product Details

ISBN-13:	9780062413512
Publisher:	HarperCollins Publishers
Publication date:	05/01/2018
Pages:	368
Sales rank:	97,581
Product dimensions:	5.20(w) x 7.90(h) x 1.00(d)

About the Author

Roxane Gay is the author of the essay collection Bad Feminist, which was a New York Times bestseller; the novel An Untamed State, a finalist for the Dayton Peace Prize; the memoir Hunger, which was a New York Times bestseller and received a National Book Critics Circle citation; and the short story collections Difficult Women and Ayiti. A contributing opinion writer to the New York Times, she has also written for Time, McSweeney’s, the Virginia Quarterly Review, the Los Angeles Times, The Nation, The Rumpus, Bookforum, and Salon. Her fiction has also been selected for The Best American Short Stories 2012, The Best American Mystery Stories 2014, and other anthologies. She is the author of World of Wakanda for Marvel. She lives in Lafayette, Indiana, and sometimes Los Angeles.

Table of Contents

Introduction Roxane Gay ix

Fragments Aubrey Hirsch 1

Slaughterhouse Island Jill Christman 15

& the Truth Is, I Have No Story Claire Schwartz 33

The Luckiest MILF in Brooklyn Lynn Melnick 49

Spectator: My Family, My Rapist, and Mourning Online Brandon Taylor 59

The Sun Emma Smith-Stevens 69

Sixty-Three Days AJ McKenna 79

Only the Lonely Lisa Mecham 89

What I Told Myself Vanessa Máartir 99

Stasis Ally Sheedy 105

The Ways We Are Taught to Be a Girl xTx 115

Floccinaucinihilipilification So Mayer 129

The Life Ruiner Nora Salem 143

All the Angry Women Lyz Lenz 155

Good Girls Amy Jo Burns 167

Utmost Resistance: Law and the Queer Woman or How I Sat in a Classroom and Listened to My Male Classmates Debate How to Define Force and Consent Y. L. Seek 177

Bodies Against Borders Michelle Chen 189

Wiping the Stain Clean Gabrielle Union 203

What We Didn't Say Liz Rosema 207

I Said Yes Anthony Frame 213

Knowing Better Samhita Mukhopadhyay 229

Not That Loud: Quiet Encounters with Rape Culture Miriam Zoila Pérez 235

Why I Stopped Zoë Medeiros 243

Picture Perfect Sharisse Tracey 253

To Get Out from Under It Stacey May Fowles 273

Reaping What Rape Culture Sows: Live from the Killing Fields of Growing Up Female in America Elisabeth Fairfield Stokes 289

Invisible Light Waves Meredith Talusan 301

Getting Home Nicole Boyce 307

Why I Didn't Say No Elissa Bassist 323

Contributors 341

Acknowledgments 349

Editorial Reviews

The lauded social critic and provocateur curates a diverse and unvarnished collection of personal essays reckoning with the experiences and systemic dysfunction that produced #MeToo.” — O, the Oprah Magazine

“From the author of Bad Feminist and Hunger (drop everything if you haven’t read this) comes a collection of first-person essays about rape, assault and sexual harassment. It couldn’t be more timely. Gay’s introduction moved me to tears, as did many of the pieces contributed by household names—Gabrielle Union, Ally Sheedy—but accounts from “regular” women moved me even more. Perhaps that’s the lesson we’re meant to take away from Not that Bad: we’re all “regular.” Shocking as they are, many of these stories will be familiar to us all—and we all deserve better.” — Elisabeth Egan, “The 17 Best Books to Read this Summer,” Glamour

“A profoundly personal anthology.” — Harper’s Bazaar

“Critical reading.”
— Paste Magazine, “The Best Nonfiction Books of 2018”

“This is a devastating book, heartbreaking in how familiar and relatable each story is—yet there’s power and solidarity in it, too.” — Shondaland

“Not That Bad is essential reading.” — Refinery29

“A timely, necessary anthology.” — PureWow

“Timely. . . . It is a critical work that makes this much clear: The violations #MeToo rages against can and do damage people for a lifetime.” — The Globe and Mail

“It’s hard to imagine a more fitting editor for a collection like this… everyone should read it.” — Brooklyn Rail

From the Publisher

A timely, necessary anthology.

PureWow

Timely. . . . It is a critical work that makes this much clear: The violations #MeToo rages against can and do damage people for a lifetime.

The Globe and Mail

Not That Bad is essential reading.

Refinery29

The lauded social critic and provocateur curates a diverse and unvarnished collection of personal essays reckoning with the experiences and systemic dysfunction that produced #MeToo.

O: The Oprah Magazine

A profoundly personal anthology.

Harper’s Bazaar

Critical reading.”

Paste Magazine

From the author of Bad Feminist and Hunger (drop everything if you haven’t read this) comes a collection of first-person essays about rape, assault and sexual harassment. It couldn’t be more timely. Gay’s introduction moved me to tears, as did many of the pieces contributed by household names—Gabrielle Union, Ally Sheedy—but accounts from “regular” women moved me even more. Perhaps that’s the lesson we’re meant to take away from Not that Bad: we’re all “regular.” Shocking as they are, many of these stories will be familiar to us all—and we all deserve better.

Elisabeth Egan

The lauded social critic and provocateur curates a diverse and unvarnished collection of personal essays reckoning with the experiences and systemic dysfunction that produced #MeToo.

the Oprah Magazine O

It’s hard to imagine a more fitting editor for a collection like this… everyone should read it.

Brooklyn Rail

This is a devastating book, heartbreaking in how familiar and relatable each story is—yet there’s power and solidarity in it, too.

Shondaland

The lauded social critic and provocateur curates a diverse and unvarnished collection of personal essays reckoning with the experiences and systemic dysfunction that produced #MeToo.

O: The Oprah Magazine

A profoundly personal anthology.

Harper's Bazaar

★ 07/01/2018
Rape culture is examined in this stellar collection edited by National Book Critics Circle finalist Gay (Hunger; Bad Feminist) because as a society we use the term often but rarely engage with it. What are the effects of being taught to downplay sexual violence, to convince yourself it's not that bad? A recurring topic among contributors is whether to use the term victim or survivor; writer AJ McKenna says, "If I say I have survived, I'm fooling nobody. I didn't." Actress Ally Sheedy discusses decades-long sexism in Hollywood, educator and writer Sharisse Tracey takes on the myth of the perfect black family, actress Gabrielle Union navigates explaining consent to her stepsons, and author Amy Jo Burns revisits the cost of staying silent. Particularly insightful is writer Michelle Chen's exploration into the safety of women in migrant camps. Some share experiences of street harassment or witnessing public masturbation and the mind-set that it's an honor to be objectified. Gay succeeds in bringing men's and women's voices to the conversation, showing the broad influence of sexuality, race, and faith. VERDICT A standout collection on a crucial topic. That some parts may be difficult to read owing to details of sexual violence makes these essays even more necessary.—Stephanie Sendaula, Library Journal

Library Journal

★ 11/01/2018

Though her gang rape at age 12 was devastating, author Gay minimized her pain after talking to other women who had faced harassment, rape, and sexual assault. "What I went through was bad, but it wasn't that bad," she attempted to convince herself. The incisive essays she has compiled by artists, journalists, actors, and others cover a range of experiences yet all speak to the power of rape culture: yes, it is that bad. These deeply personal pieces lay bare the forces that allow sexual violence to flourish: society's expectation that women internalize blame, men's entitlement to women's bodies, and the normalization of assault. Sharisse Tracey describes the pressure from her community to forgive her father for raping her when she was a teen; V.L. Seek's probing "Utmost Resistance" examines the burden of studying rape cases in law school as a survivor. Several contributors emphasize that groping, cat-calling, and indecent exposure are acts of violence, too, making the book potentially eye-opening to readers who may see such experiences as unpleasant yet acceptable. VERDICT This potent volume slowly but surely chisels away at rape culture. A must for YA collections.—Mahnaz Dar, School Library Journal

School Library Journal