Obamasutra: Volume 1: Insults for Special Occasions

Obamasutra: Volume 1: Insults for Special Occasions

by Ilya Katz


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Ilya Katz ran thousands of miles to escape a socialist "paradise" in the former Soviet Union, but he never thought an American president would try to introduce a similar system in his new homeland.

Katz believes that President Barack Obama promotes a dangerous leftist policy that rewards the lazy and punishes the middle class and businesses. Responsible rightists everywhere need to take action so that his policies don't continue.

In this satire on Obama and his politics, Katz shares his insights on the dangerous path the United States is on. It's not too late to reverse course.

The sayings and cartoons in this book will make you laugh, make you angry, and maybe even make you cry.

• Obama is our president. That isn't a position-it's a diagnosis.
• Our Chief-of-Mischief pinches the balls of the entire population, and soon they will not only sing soprano but will also howl like a wolf.
• "We've got a dream ... we've got a dream." Yes, but somehow it turned into a nightmare. Obama, however, does not have a dream; he is already Obama.

Join Katz as he battles socialistic idiotism in this first volume of Obamasutra.

Product Details

ISBN-13: 9781462068234
Publisher: iUniverse, Incorporated
Publication date: 12/13/2011
Pages: 200
Product dimensions: 6.00(w) x 9.00(h) x 0.46(d)

Read an Excerpt


Volume 1 Insults for Special Occasions
By Ilya Katz

iUniverse, Inc.

Copyright © 2011 Ilya Katz
All right reserved.

ISBN: 978-1-4620-6823-4

Chapter One

Anti-American Idol

You shall not make for yourself an idol. Exodus 20:4

There is a finger pointing at us. Did anyone take the fingerprint?

Mr. Obama, Katz is on your back!!!

The true face of our God was recognized only when he acquired the presidential image.

If we want to damage our ruler's reputation, it is enough to tell the truth about him. Why lie? The truth is far more damaging.

There is no explosion more dangerous than the explosion of fairness.

Obama is an idolator ... he worships himself.

Our God has one goal: to remain on Olympus; he does not care about the people beneath.

Beware that new historical process does not end up as criminal proceedings.

Triumph of the emperor without clothes, surrounded by sellers of recycled, rotten political merchandise. He will, however, enjoy a very short marathon.

Political retardation starts from the mental one.

Our President is color blind: he sees everything in red.

Our President is great ... like the seven deadly sins.

There is only one step from laughter to sadness. But from sadness to laughter ... four years.

"Obama is a thinker ..."???

We are trying to understand the anatomy of power by studying the body of the emperor without clothes.

He who has God on his lips, sometimes has Devil in his heart.

Obama swore on the Bible his pledge of allegiance ... to the Koran.

Satire is more effective than psychiatry in the treatment of a progressive Napoleonic Complex.

Obama is our President. That isn't a position—it's a diagnosis.

All dictators of all peoples and times make this error: They confuse the concept of "state" with that of "homeland." They also want us to make the same mistake.

* * *

Our Chief-of-Mischief pinches the balls of the entire population, and soon they will not only sing soprano but will also howl like a wolf.

* * *

"We've got a dream ... we've got a dream." Yes, but somehow it turned into a nightmare. Obama, however, does not have a dream -he is already Obama.

Mr. Obama, didn't I once see you in a movie theatre ... starring in a cartoon?

Could we touch our God? Sure, but I hope red dirt won't stick to our hands.

The inscription on King Solomon's ring said: "This, too, shall pass." But this is not quite true. It will pass only if we won't get tired of fighting. As the old saying goes: "For the devil to win, it is required only that good people do nothing."

Today, America without politicians, is like a circus without clowns.

An American Tragedy is when the stage is occupied for four years by the production of a farce ...

The mirror reflected the truth of our leader's attempts to appear to be a famous reformer. He is, in fact, not a reformer ... he is only a performer.

Particularly Americans respect those politicians whose images appear on money.

World respects George Washington for all the good he did as the father of our nation, and Abraham Lincoln for all the good he did with his honesty and principles, and Barack Obama for his Nobel Prize.

Mr. Obama, the more often you see yourself as an ideal, the farther away you get from it.

Though Obama opened up new paths, he forgot to put up road signs.

* * *

Our smart President has an answer to every question and every problem. Unfortunately, that is all he has.

* * *

In order to make the current mess look beautiful, Obama is scaring our society with the future.

* * *

A mountain gave birth to a mouse and now the mouse is attempting to give birth to a new epoch.

* * *

Irreplaceable people are those who won't allow substitutes for themselves.

* * *

Let us love and cherish Mr. Obama. If nothing else, he is our common mistake.

The same smiling face on T-shirts, calendars, puzzles, figurines, drinks and even hamburgers reflects our beloved President. It's full-blown Obamamania. Why not create a chocolate Obama filled with nuts? At least his admirers can lick any spot on his body. Or how about a perfume: "Scent of Obama?"

* * *

Mr. Obama offers transparency in words ... but a cover-up in actions.

* * *

Follow the crowd, it is the best way to get lost.

* * *

No matter what kind of fences our President builds, the people will still find the gaps. Only after the removing of the fences will the gaps disappear.

* * *

From the point of view of the Optimist-in-Chief, the harder one falls down, the greater the proof of his tallness of stature.

* * *

A pilot can be a good parachutist, but a parachutist is always a bad pilot.

* * *

The President heads up a powerful team ... of brainwashed impotents.

Mr. President, if you really have a plan to save America, I suggest you leave it in draft form and don't show it to anybody; it will really help our country.

Our President is like a chess player who, while losing the game, states that he has a winning position.

Our Democrats and wishful impotents proclaim: "Yes we can!" Sorry, but you can't— reply Republicans.

"To be or not to be?"

Not every monument has a deep significance. It is too easy to find the one, that is just a lousy figure, raised high on a pedestal.

It is half a disaster when a loser holds a position as a community organizer. It is a full-blown disaster when a loser comes to the peak of power.

A Giant in position can still be a Lilliputian by persuasion.

Mr. Obama makes himself taller by standing on the throat of the nation.

Obama's ideas will retire much earlier than their author.

Nobody can take away Obama's talent to govern. Why? Because, to begin with, he doesn't have it.

The President is a slave to ideas, rather than a master of deeds.

Obama is not an innovator. He is a lousy imitator.

A dangerous sickness is safer than an unskilled doctor.

Since Obama can roll up mountains, keep him away from them.

* * *

Mr. Obama craves public acknowledgement. But that means that fools acknowledge him too!

* * *

If Obama is a genius, that is not a step forward by a culture, one the future rests on, but a step on which the present stumbles.

* * *

Obama cannot generate anything except an impression.

* * *

In the world of politics, our President thinks that he is a first-rate star. The world thinks that he is at the fourth stage.

* * *

Obama's attempt to gain success among Republicans is similar to fishing in a community pool.

* * *

The headless horseman is especially dangerous when leading the army.

* * *

Often, we take for a leader the runner, who fell far behind in the previous race.

* * *

When an engineer looks for new ways to drive the train, it derails.

* * *

The president works as a compass in a lost country. He can walk through the rain and come out dry.

* * *

Obama is no Socrates, yet there are few things about which he thinks he has no clue.

Our President tried to sell us on the pristine quality of his views. Unfortunately, they are not very fresh, and who will trust a dealer with secondhand goods?

Selling secondhand merchandise as new is possible only through cheating.

Mr. Obama, even the best mistakes do not need to be repeated.

Obama's reforms are dying to become socialistic traditions.

Obama fights with old stereotypes for the victory of new socialist ones.

* * *

The more Obama promises, the more he takes away.

* * *

Obama attempts to redraw the capitalistic world, as a bad editor does with a manuscript, he cannot understand.

* * *

Obama suggested universal disarmament. I want to believe that, at least, he will not take away Cupid's arrows.

* * *

Obama's reforms remind me of diarrhea, which never brings anything good along with it and never happens at a good time.

* * *

You cannot feed the country with just promises, though Obama himself eats just fine.

* * *

Idealists try to crawl into your soul, and materialists into your pocket. Obama knows how to crawl into our souls first ... and then into our pockets.

* * *

Obama quickly harnesses the fervor of the people; but since he has made us ready, he has no idea where to go.

* * *

The easiest thing to carry is the one that is light because it is empty. That's why our President has no trouble holding his head high.

* * *

Obama tried to prove to everyone that he is not a camel. We believed him ... until he spit.

If Obama did not already exist, he would have been created ... as a punishment for peoples' sins.

Obama has not yet achieved a devilish power, but he has already moved far away from God.


Excerpted from Obamasutra by Ilya Katz Copyright © 2011 by Ilya Katz. Excerpted by permission of iUniverse, Inc.. All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
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