On The Journey: Poems of Betrayal and Hope

On The Journey: Poems of Betrayal and Hope

by Elaine VandeReis




Married 25 years, Elaine discovered her husband was a sex addict when she was hospitalized for a sexually transmitted infection. In the moment of discovery, everything she thought she knew about her life was destroyed. Struggling to cope with the searing pain of betrayal, she began to write. Her writing came out in the form of poetry. In this book is the poetry she wrote, along with the story of her journey from betrayal to hope.

Product Details

ISBN-13: 9781732067301
Publisher: Gentle Path Press
Publication date: 06/05/2018
Pages: 88
Product dimensions: 6.00(w) x 9.00(h) x (d)

Read an Excerpt

I n 2004, my world changed forever. I had been married for 25 years to my high school sweetheart. We had one child, then in her teens. We both worked, and we had a comfortable life. In June that year we celebrated our 25th anniversary with a vow renewal and a festive party for family and friends, followed by a “honeymoon” trip. My husband still traveled too much for work, but overall, things seemed to be going well. In late September of that year I woke one morning in severe pain. I ended up in the Emergency Department of a hospital, driven there by my daughter who had gotten her driver’s license only the day before. After many tests and much confusion, I was diagnosed with Pelvic Inflammatory Disease, secondary to a sexually transmitted infection. My husband came home from his trip early, after being convinced over the phone by our daughter that he really must, as mom was in the hospital. In the hospital room, he and I talked alone. I was sedated for the pain, and stunned by what I had been told. He confessed the general outlines of his sex addiction, which had been going on since before we even met. He expressed remorse and seemed genuinely horrified that his actions had placed me in this situation. At that time I couldn’t even feel. The searing emotional pain would start later, once I was home again. I began writing almost instinctively. I had to do something with the overwhelming pain and confusion I was feeling. Someone I had loved 2 On the Journey and trusted for decades had turned out to be someone else entirely! A person I had not only loved, but admired and deeply trusted, had betrayed me in what seemed the worst way possible. It felt as though all my assumptions about the world had been shattered. I no longer knew what was true, and what was false. What about all those years when we enjoyed life together? Was that all an illusion? What else in my world wasn’t real? All my good memories of us were now poisoned. My history had vanished and I was in free fall.

Table of Contents

Contents Original Preface, April 2005. vii Preface, August 2017. ix I. Discovery 1 II. The Struggle to Understand 25 III. A Higher Power 45 IV. Downstream 55 Some Final Words 73

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