Our Own

Our Own

by Trish Maskew

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Overview

Our Own by Trish Maskew

Based on the author's experiences as an adoptive mother and foster parent, as well as interviews with professionals, adults who were adopted, and dozens of adoptive families, this tribute to "our own kids" is easy to read and filled with compassion, humor, and common sense. Suitable for families adopting domestically or internationally, it covers a wide range of topics related to older child adoption, including:

  • Choosing an agency and finding a child to adopt
  • The family's adjustment
  • Ways to help your child bond
  • Dealing with school issues and officials
  • Handling difficult behavior such as tantrums and lying
  • Recognizing the symptoms of ADHD, posttraumatic stress, and other mental health issues
  • The "core issues" of adoption, such as grief, identity and loss
  • Birthfamilies and culture
  • Hepatitis, parasites, and other medical issues
  • The joys of becoming a family

Product Details

ISBN-13: 9780966970159
Publisher: Snowcap Press
Publication date: 09/01/2003
Pages: 284
Sales rank: 1,215,522
Product dimensions: 0.64(w) x 6.00(h) x 9.00(d)

About the Author

Trish Maskew knows the joys and challenges of older child adoption.
Trish has parented six children: one she gave birth to, two she adopted
internationally at the ages of five and nine, and three foster children who
joined the family at the ages of nine, fourteen, and fifteen. She has also
served as a program coordinator for an international adoption agency, a
consultant to the Hague Permanent Bureau, and president of Ethica, a nonprofit
organization dedicated to promoting ethics in adoption and advocating for the
rights of birthfamilies, adoptive parents, and adoptees. She currently is an
attorney living in Washington, D.C.

Table of Contents

1The Decision to Adopt15
Why Do Families Adopt?17
Why Do I Want to Adopt?19
Who Are the Children Available?20
Do I Have What It Takes?23
What Kind of Support Will I Have?31
2Getting Started34
How Many Children Do I Want to Adopt?34
What Age Child Do I Want?36
Do I Want to Adopt Across Racial or Ethnic Lines?38
What Disabilities Am I Comfortable With?40
Domestic or International?41
Can I Afford All the Potential Costs?42
Finding Your Child in the United States46
Adopting Internationally49
The Referral51
3Surviving the Wait56
Losing a Referral58
Preparing for Your Child59
Preparing Siblings61
Language and Culture63
Preparing the Child64
Now What?66
Traveling to Get Your Child67
Pre-placement Visits70
The Initial Meeting71
4The Family in Shock73
The Honeymoon74
Your Adjustment75
Getting a New Sibling80
There's No Place Like Home?85
Helping Your Child Bond88
By Any Other Name?89
"What If I Don't Love My Child?"91
5Settling In93
Sleep Adjustments93
Eating Difficulties98
Toileting Problems104
6Grief and Change110
The Stages of Grief111
The Behavior of Grieving112
Taking the Lead123
Anniversary Reactions124
Holidays126
7Behavior and Discipline127
Marshaling the Forces129
Trauma's Role in Behavior135
Common Behaviors and Possible Solutions136
"You're Not My Real Mom!"149
"I'm Going Crazy!"149
8Birthparents and Culture151
Talking About Birthparents157
What Adoptees Want Parents to Know159
Culture Shock160
Family Culture162
It's the Little Things...163
Retaining Your Child's Culture166
Dealing With Racism170
9The Core Issues173
Loss174
Rejection177
Shame179
Grief181
Identity183
Intimacy186
Control187
Is Professional Help Needed?189
10Language and School191
Language191
ESL (English as a Second Language)196
School Choice198
What Grade?199
IEPs (Individualized Education Programs)202
School and Adoption Issues204
Great Expectations206
11An "Alphabet Soup" of Diagnoses207
Reactive Attachment Disorder207
Attention Deficit Disorder212
Sexual Abuse215
Eating Disorders216
Sensory Integration Disorder218
Fetal Alcohol Syndrome220
Bipolar Disorder223
Posttraumatic Stress Disorder225
Medication and Hospitalization228
12Medical References230
Medical Exams on Arrival230
Hepatitis231
AIDS233
Tuberculosis234
Inherited Diseases235
Parasitic Infections238
Nutritional Problems243
Early Puberty246
Determining your Child's Age247
In Closing249
AAdoption Subsidies253
BThe Immigration Process257
CResources260

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