Table of Contents
Foreword ix
Introduction 1
Part 1 Love and Logic Parents Grow Up
1 Teenagers 101: Welcome to Parenting Graduate School 9
A Disturbing Call 12
Who's in Charge Here? 13
A Change of Tactics 14
Learning Responsibility 15
The Times They Are a-Changin' 16
Braving the Challenges of the Next Generation 19
A Reason for Hope 21
2 Love and Logic Parenting: Will It Work with Teenagers? 23
Standing on Their Own Two Feet 25
Helicopter Parents 25
The Evolution of the Helicopter Parent: The Turboshaft-Powered Attack Model 27
Drill Sergeant Parents 28
The Laissez-Faire Parent 30
The Consultant Parent 31
The Love and Logic Way 36
3 Back to the Basics, Part One: Training Teens to Act Responsibly 41
Basic Self-Concept-Who Am I? 42
Love and Logic Principle: Responsible Teens Feel Good about Themselves 46
Love and Logic Principle: Responsibility Is Caught, Not Taught 48
Love and Logic Principle: Let Teens Own Their Problems and Their Solutions 51
Love and Logic Principle: Neutralizing Teen Arguing Keeps the Focus on Them 53
4 Back to the Basics, Part Two: Treating Teenagers as Responsible Adults 57
Love and Logic Principle: Gaining Control through Choices 57
Love and Logic Principle: Sharing Control through Thinking Words 67
Love and Logic Principle: Empathy and Sorrow Plus Consequences Equals Success 71
Love and Logic Principle: Consequences Don't Have to Be Immediate 73
Love and Logic Principle: Building a Lifelong Relationship 77
Living on the Edge 78
Part 2 Living on the Edge: The Wild and Wonderful Challenges of Parenting Teenagers
5 Fasten Your Seat Belt and Enjoy the Ride 81
Why Parents Should Relax 82
Some Things Parents Need to Understand 85
Three Types of Teens 86
Again, Relax 95
6 Understanding Teens from the Inside Out: Internal Changes in Adolescence 97
Changes in Thinking 98
Physical Changes 102
Teaching Youths about Sex 105
Psychological Changes (Changes in Values) 113
Dealing with Rebellion 115
Let Them Go and Let Them Grow 117
7 Understanding Teens from the Outside In: External Changes in Adolescence 119
The Pressure of Social Change 120
Different Circumstances, Same Needs 122
What's Different Today 124
Pressures from Outside the Home 125
Riding the Waves of Trends 129
Pressures from Inside the Home 131
Save Your Emotional Energy 134
8 Ready, Set-Off into the Real World 137
Welcome to the Real World 138
Techniques for World-Wise Teens 139
Parenting Perspectives on Real-World Readiness 144
What Love and Logic Is Not 151
Ready, Set, Go! 157
Part 3 Love and Logic Parenting Pearls
How to Use Love and Logic Pearls 160
1 Aggressive Behavior 161
2 Appearance: Clothing, Hairstyle, and Other Surprises 163
3 Arguments 168
4 Back in the Nest: If an Older Child Needs to Move Home 171
5 Back Talk 173
6 Cars, Driving, and Catching Rides 177
7 Church and Synagogue: When Teens Don't Want to Go 181
8 College Expenses: Who Pays? 184
9 Crisis Situations 186
10 Curfews 188
11 Dating 192
12 Disrespect 196
13 Divorce and Visitation 199
14 Drug or Substance Abuse 207
15 Eating Disorders 211
16 Entitlement 213
17 Friends and Peer Pressure 217
18 Giving Gifts to Our Adolescents 219
19 Grades 222
20 Grounding 228
21 Jobs 230
22 Leadership: Prepare Your Teen to Be a Leader 233
23 Money 235
24 Mood Swings 239
25 Music 241
26 Orders: To Give or Not to Give 243
27 Parties 246
28 Professional Help: When to Seek It 250
29 Runaways 252
30 Satanism and Religious Cults 255
31 Sex 258
32 The Silent Treatment 262
33 Social and Extracurricular Activities 264
34 Sports 267
35 Suicide Threats 272
36 Technology: The Internet, Phones, Pornography, Television and Videos, and Video Games 274
37 Violence: Cyberbullying and Gangs 291
Notes 297
Index 299
