Peace After Divorce: Choosing Concrete Actions Rooted in Faith

Peace After Divorce: Choosing Concrete Actions Rooted in Faith

by Renee Smith Ettline


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Illumination Book Award Winner

Uplifting, practical and inspiring this award-winning Christian divorce recovery book has brightened the lives of countless readers who've experienced the life-altering pain of separation and divorce. Selected as an Exemplary Christian Self-Help/Recovery Book by the Illumination Book Awards, Peace After Divorce helps you understand how the devastation of divorce can be transformed into a positive new life.

In addition to sharing practical strategies for healing from divorce and coping with divorce on a day-to-day basis, counselor and Christian Renee Smith Ettline motivates and inspires. Your divorce may change who you are but this book will help you make sure it doesn't define who you are.

More than just providing information, the content helps you to:

  • Work through emotions and thoughts;
  • Deal with loneliness and divorce grief;
  • Choose healing actions;
  • Cope more effectively with your former spouse;
  • Re-enter single life;
  • Help children cope with separation and divorce;
  • And much more.

You CAN find hope, peace, and joy after divorce. For personal use, Christian divorce support groups, or pastoral care. Christian divorce recovery curriculum and leader materials are available through After Divorce Ministries.

Product Details

ISBN-13: 9780984878994
Publisher: Jesse Press, LLC
Publication date: 03/13/2012
Pages: 258
Sales rank: 797,324
Product dimensions: 5.50(w) x 8.50(h) x 0.54(d)
Age Range: 18 Years

About the Author

Renee Smith Ettline, founder of After Divorce Ministries, LLC, and her husband Fred Ettline, have led divorce support groups and church divorce ministries workshops for several years. Renee is a former counselor who worked with adults and students in college, industry, and school settings. She holds a M.Ed. in Student Personnel Services and over 30 hours of post-masters degree credit in counseling and guidance. Recognized as Outstanding Counselor of the Year, and honored for innovative programming, most of Renee's career has involved teaching life strategies and skills. She draws on her background as well as her Christian faith in the writing of this book. Fred is a retired college professor with an Ed. D. As single parent of two children, Fred was particularly helpful with the section of this book on helping children of divorce. Each previously divorced the Ettlines seek to help others find real-life strategies and God-given power to move beyond the lingering impact of divorce.

Table of Contents

Chapter 1—Take Charge1
 The Threshold2
 God, Divorce, and Me6
 Accepting Divorce as Reality11
 You Mean I'm Normal?14
 Navigating the Winds of Divorce18
 Highlights from Chapter 122
Chapter 2—Seek Renewal23
 Moving from Acceptance to Renewal24
 Embracing a World of Change30
 Making Choices about Change34
 Missed the Best of Life?42
 Managing Daily Life45
 Opening a Direct Line to God49
 Highlights from Chapter 255
Chapter 3—Untie the Emotional Knot57
 The Emotional Divorce vs. the Legal Divorce58
 What is Real61
 Feelings about Your Former Spouse64
 If I Just Knew Why69
 Speed Bumps, Potholes, and Roadblocks72
 Make a Defining Break76
 Emotional Flare-Ups80
 Highlights from Chapter 383
Chapter 4—Look Inside85
Guilt and Regrets91
 Rejection and Vulnerability97
 Loss and Grief100
 The Empty Love Pot109
 Joy and Laughter113
Highlights from Chapter 4117
Chapter 5—Cast Away Stones119
 Anger with God versus Reliance on God120
 Stuck in a State of Done Wrong123
 Anger toward Your Former Spouse131
 Forgiving Your Former Spouse138
 Highlights from Chapter 5142
Chapter 6—Redirect Your Thoughts143
 The Power in Thoughts144
 Thoughts and Beliefs about God149
 Thoughts about Marriage and Divorce154
 Thoughts about Circumstances159
 Thoughts about Your Former Spouse164
 Highlights from Chapter 6169
Chapter 7—Choose Your Actions171
 Staying True to Yourself and God172
 Changing Dynamics with Your Former Spouse175
 Communicating with Your Former Spouse182
 Refreshing Yourself189
 Taking Care of Your Health193
 Helping Children Cope with Divorce196
 Highlights from Chapter 7209
Chapter 8—Consider What's Next211
 Where Are You Now?212
 Finding Purpose in Your Life216
 Finding Your Future221
 Before a New Romance225
 Trusting Again228
 Creating Level Paths for Dating233
 Highlights from Chapter 8240
Epilogue: Just the Beginning242

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Peace After Divorce: Choosing Concrete Actions Rooted in Faith 4.6 out of 5 based on 0 ratings. 5 reviews.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
I waited almost 5 years after my divorce before reading this book. I was so surprised by the unresolved issues I still had. This book helped me address the surpressed pain and rekindle the healing process.
ploughmud More than 1 year ago
This book is very helpful for not only all the issues arriving from divorced situations but it also applies to other issues in life.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
I loved this book. I found it very helpful while I was going through my divorce.
avidreader85 More than 1 year ago
I bought this book hoping to help a friend who is going through a divorce. While I believe that marriages should never just end without doing everything possible to try to save it, I do understand that there are times when no matter what you do, the marriage is just over. This book has much more content than I expected. It is written using Biblical insight to help those going through a divorce, reminding the reader of the unwavering love of our Creator and Heavenly Father. It's nice to be reminded of this because I believe that people tend to forget there is hope during these difficult months/years. This book is set up like a workbook. It is not a book that the reader will pick up and finish in a day. The author suggests reading no more than one chapter a week. There are many questions to ponder in each chapter. To gain the most insight, the reader should read and answer the questions to really understand how they are feeling and how they are coping with the loss of their marriage. Then it gives great insight on how to change behaviors by the way you transform your thinking. At the end of each chapter, it lists the highlights so that you can go back over everything and really let it sink in. If you live in a community where there are no divorce support groups, then this book contains invaluable advice. If you can attend a divorce support group, I think that this can still be very helpful as it will give you a head's up on what to expect and how to avoid potential downfalls, especially when it comes to setting boundaries, dealing with children, and learning whether or not to get into another relationship. But most of all, this book reminds us that God loves us and He will always love us and want what's best for us. We need not be afraid to go to Him in these darkest times where we feel like failures.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
I had no idea the pain would be so intense, physical and emotional.  I thought everything I was feeling was exclusive to my experience.  In this book,  Renee walks through your experience with you (she's been there herself) and helps you to understand how the devastation that is your new reality can be transformed into something even better.  Renee uses scripture in each chapter to give us strength and to know we are not alone.  We've all had the experience of someone throwing a tired old scripture our way to make us feel better.  It generally does the opposite.  Renee takes God's beautiful words and shows us how they apply to today.  Your divorce will change who you are but  this book will help you make sure it doesn't define who you are. Remarkably,  I was able to come to a place of forgiveness and acceptance.  I pray that same peace for everyone considering this book.