Perfect I'm Not: Boomer on Beer, Brawls, Backaches, and Baseball

Perfect I'm Not: Boomer on Beer, Brawls, Backaches, and Baseball

by David Wells, Chris Kreski
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Paperback(First Perennial Currents Edition)

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Perfect I'm Not: Boomer on Beer, Brawls, Backaches, and Baseball by David Wells, Chris Kreski

Forget the perfect game. Forget the World Series rings. Forget the legendary carousing, the barroom brawling, the heavy-metal head-banging, and the endless supply of uncensored, often havoc-wreaking quotes. Forget the feuds with dumb-a**ed fans, wrong-headed managers and the entire city of Cleveland. Even if Perfect, I'm Not was to blindly (and insanely) ignore all those amazing aspects of David Wells' life as a major leaguer, his story would still bounce off these pages as a wildly entertaining and jaw-droppingly honest look at the game of baseball. Nothing less would be possible. Wells simply isn't wired for spin-doctoring. He has no "delete" button. He pulls no punches. In a sport that's now largely populated by a bland collection of well-dressed, personality-free, cliché-spouting Stepford jocks, Wells clearly holds the title of "baseball's most beloved bad-ass".

From rookie ball amid the beer-soaked, frozen tundra of the Great White North, through Winter Ball amid the easy women and explosive diarrhea of Venezuela, Perfect I'm Not explores Boomer's long, strange, often insane climb through the minors. And from the Siberia of the Blue Jays' bullpen, through intensive training with a brilliant little Yoda known as Sparky Anderson, the book also examines how Boomer grew from a mediocre reliever, into a solid, reliable, hugely successful starter. From there, after tortured dealings with Marge Schott in Cincinatti, and Pat Gillick in Baltimore, the book follows Boomer deep inside the New York Yankees' dugout, right through the teams' fairy-tale seasons of '97 and '98. It stands with David on the mound through his legendary perfect game.

It documents his high-profile love affair with the night-life of New York City, and then explores just how devastating it felt to be unceremoniously dumped for Roger Clemens. Perfect I'm Not also follows Boomer through his chronic back pain of 2001, then surgery, rehab, uncertainty, and one pinstriped Christmas miracle, courtesy of Boss Steinbrenner. And though the 2002 season may have enjoyed a less than perfect climax, it nonetheless rounds out the book with a Yankees reunion that kept Boomer smiling from February, right into October.

Perfect I'm Not gives readers an unprecedented, all-access pass to every major league stadium in the country, providing a first-person perspective of life on the diamond, as well as an uncensored, warts-and-all, insider's guide to life inside locker-rooms, hotel rooms, planes, dugouts, buses, bedrooms, restaurants, strip clubs, and more. It's great fun. It's real. It's as close as you're ever gonna get to making the show.

David Wells is one of the most colorful, honest, outspoken and genuinely funny beings on this, or any other planet.

Product Details

ISBN-13: 9780060748111
Publisher: HarperCollins Publishers
Publication date: 09/14/2004
Edition description: First Perennial Currents Edition
Pages: 432
Product dimensions: 8.04(w) x 5.18(h) x 0.46(d)
Age Range: 14 - 18 Years

About the Author

David Wells is one of the most colorful, honest, outspoken and genuinely funny beings on this, or any other planet.

Chris Kreski was a writer and consultant for MTV and a head writer of The Daily Show. He cowrote Star Trek Memories and Star Trek Movie Memories, as well as several other books with William Shatner.

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Perfect I'm Not: Boomer on Beer, Brawls, Backaches, and Baseball 4.9 out of 5 based on 0 ratings. 7 reviews.
Guest More than 1 year ago
David Wells is hilarous! What a great insight in the world of baseball. I hate the Yankees, but David Wells made it bearable to relive all those Yankees World Series.
Guest More than 1 year ago
Great baseball (auto)biography. Fun to read and not just about the game but about life around the game. There are moments when you cannot help but laugh out loud. Read this book. It explains why Boomer is Boomer.
Guest More than 1 year ago
I was literally laughing out loud while reading this book. Boomer is hilarious. Prior to reading this book, I was not a Wells fan at all. My attention was drawn by one of the game commentators during the Series this year stating Wells made 'impolite' comments re: Pettitte and Clemens (2 of my fav players, period)...not so. I think his comments were acceptable - they were totally his opinion, he clearly was not trying to win Brownie points from anyone and, like many other readers here, I have no idea why so many people were upset.
Guest More than 1 year ago
Part of the reason why I bought the book was because I'm a HUGE Yankees fan,(GO YANKEES by the way), a HUGE David Wells fan, and mostly because I wanted to see what the whole controversy was all about. Well, that fine they made Boomer pay was all worth it because this is probably the best book I've ever read. I was laughing every minute I spent reading it and I didn't want to put it down!I love the inside look on David's life and what really goes on in the clubhouse. But what I love most about this book is that it's written in Boomer's voice, he tells it like it is... he's honest straight-forward and he doesn't care who he's offending, and I LOVE that about him!I personally don't think that it's as controversial as they made it to be, you shouldn't judge the book before you read it... and you definitely should read this book.
Guest More than 1 year ago
The first thing i will say to someone when they ask me about this book, is the fact that wells was hilarious, and humorous... He brings an honest, straightforward opinion on the authority figures of baseball... I felt that david should have gotton more in depth about the players he played with, but nontheless, it was a very enjoyable book that should be picked up by every baseball fan...
Guest More than 1 year ago
while the book seemed too wordy at times it still proved to be one of the greatest books ive read in a while. :) id also like to point out i expelled gas while reading this... that made me laugh as well... i felt apart of the david wells family... thats how comfortable i felt expelling gas...! READ!
Guest More than 1 year ago
I have no idea why everyone is getting their panties all up in a bunch about this book! Wells gives an honest perception and opinion on life in baseball. From his young life, through his struggle in the minors, and breakthrough in the majors, David kept me laughing! Great job.