Play Nice: Playground Rules for Respect in the Workplace

Play Nice: Playground Rules for Respect in the Workplace

by Brigitte Gawenda Kimichik JD, JR Tomlinson


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One of today's most hotly discussed topics is sexual harassment in the workplace: what it looks like, how to prevent it, and what to do about it. So many people don’t realize that they have been victims of sexual harassment or that they have a right to speak up and demand different treatment. Many don’t realize that they are committing it, thanks certain behaviors being dismissed, forgiven, or ignored for many years when they should have been corrected long ago. In the heat of today’s #MeToo movement, Brigitte Gawenda Kimichik, JD, and J.R Tomlinson take things back to basics by applying the rules we all learned on the playground to the modern-day workplace, thus making clear to everyone what is and what isn’t OK. Play Nice: Playground Rules for Respect in the Workplace is an indispensable resource—both for empowering those who wish to reassert their boundaries and for teaching allies how to help in this fight.

Product Details

ISBN-13: 9781612542904
Publisher: Brown Books Publishing Group
Publication date: 05/14/2019
Series: Sandbox Series , #1
Pages: 240
Product dimensions: 6.00(w) x 9.00(h) x 0.75(d)

About the Author

Brigitte Kimichik, J.D. retired in 2015 from the practice of law with over thirty years' experience as a commercial real estate finance partner of the law firm of Andrews Kurth LLP, now Hunton Andrews Kurth. She received her JD in 1986 from Southern Methodist University Dedman School of Law in Dallas, Texas, and her BBA with Honors from the McCombs School of Business at The University of Texas in 1983 after only two and a half years, where she was a member of the Dean's List and the Golden Key Honor Society. Brigitte was on the board of Wednesday's Child Benefit Corporation from 1993 to 1997 and received the Most Powerful & Influential Women of Texas Award in 2012 from the National Diversity Council.
Born and raised in Germany, Brigitte earned her Abitur in December 1980 from the Gymnasium Osdorf, in Hamburg, Germany, and came to the US thereafter to study. She and her husband David have two daughters, Nicole and Samantha. She lives in Dallas, Texas.

JR Tomlinson has over twenty-nine years' expertise in the commercial real estate and strategic alignment of corporate real estate operations for companies. She manages numerous multimillion-dollar complex transactions for Fortune clients in North America such as Ecolab, Nalco Company LLC, Huitt-Zollars, Jack in the Box, Distribution International, and One Vision Solutions. Awards for her skills and broad-based experience as one of the best in her field include the Dallas Power Broker Award by D Magazine, The US Green Council Building Award, and The Notable Women of Texas Award. JR is currently an executive managing director with Newmark Knight Frank.
Ms. Tomlinson first began her career as a financial consultant with Merrill Lynch Pierce Fenner & Smith, earning her Series 7, 63, and 22 licenses after earning a BBA in finance and investments from Texas Tech University in Lubbock, Texas.
JR is married to her husband Rob Hargis and lives in Dallas, Texas.

Table of Contents

Authors' Note xiii

Introduction 1

My Story 4

JR's Story 9

A Sobering Reality Check Regarding Women's Right to Equality 13

Supporting Feminism Is Not a Negative: The True, Meaning 17

Chapter 1 Welcome to the Sandbox 19

The Meaning of the Sandbox on the Playground of the Work Environment 19

Company Policies and Current Legislation Are Not Sufficient 20

The Importance of Self-Help and the Rules of the Playground 31

Chapter 2 Where Does Bad Behavior Start, and Where Should We Begin to Effect Change? 33

Education at Home, Middle School, and High School 33

Education in Preparation for College or University 38

Education in Preparation for the Workplace 43

What It Your Workplace Is the Entertainment Industry? 44

Chapter 3 What to Do If You're Being Harassed in the Workplace 53

Start with Plan A 54

When Implementing Plan A, Be Aware of Different Personality Types 55

Tyrant Ivan 55

Insecure Trip 55

Ego Joe 55

Plan A: Steps of Communication 56

Plan B: Filing a Formal Complaint 60

Chapter 4 Why Women Are Afraid to Report Sexual Harassment 73

Sexual Harassment Laws Are Complicated 73

Fear of Shame, Humiliation, and Intimidation 74

Fear of Retaliation 76

Chapter 5 Introduction of the Playground Rules to Help Implement Plan A 79

The Playground Rules and Sexual Harassment 79

Using the Playground Rules as Prompts 80

Putting Playground Rules to the Test: Real-World Examples to Illustrate How to Respond 81

Chapter 6 Our Call to Companies: Promo ling a Workplace Cultural Change 101

Taking Action Adds Value to Companies and Improves the Bottom Line 103

Collaboration of Men and Women Can increase Profitability 106

Unintended Consequences of the #MeTno Movement: Don't Make Excuses 109

Consider the Following Immediate Action Items 110

Other Playground Rules Applicable to Companies and Important for Company Employes 117

Chapter 7 Our Call to Men: Wt Need Your Help to Effect Change 123

The Importance of Male Support 123

Engaging Men in Discussion 125

Common Motivations for Sexual Harassment 127

Treat Others How You Want to Be Treared: The Golden Rule 129

An Important Historical Review 131

Pillar Suggestions on How Men Can Help 138

Don't Be A Bystander. Take Action to Correct Bad Behavior 138

Be a Fierce Ally of Women 139

Don't Be Afraid to Talk about Sexual Harassment with Your Colleagues, Friends, or Family Members 140

Ask Women for Guidance on How You Can Help 140

Take a Look at Your Own Training in Sexual Harassment 141

Examples of Behavior That Is Not Acceptable: What Constitutes Crossing the Line? 142

If You Wouldn't Do It to a Man 142

Revisiting the Playground Rules: What Is Bad Behavior? 145

Understand Her Body Language 151

Understand the Statistics-They Don't Lie 156

Women's Clothing and Sexual Harassment 156

Why Are Women-Even Today-Rarely in Positions of Power? 158

Chapter 8 Responding to Bad Behavior 161

Cleaning Up the Language: Have We Lost Our Ability to be Civil, Polite, and Professional? 161

Learning to Take Control Immediately and Modify Behavior 169

Using the Boys' Club to Your Advantage 175

Don't Be a Bystander 179

Chapter 9 As a Society, What Positive Changes Can We Implement'? 183

Changes in Law 183

Nondisclosure Agreements 183

Forced Arbitration Provisions 183

Statute of Limitations 184

Require Company Reporting 184

Lawsuits under Title VII of the Civil Rights Act of 1964 185

Title VII and the Fifteen-Employee Requirement 185

Legislate a 30 Percent Quota 185

New Tax Cuts and Jobs Act 185

Nonlegal Actions 186

Making Controversial Contract Provisions Optional 186

Publishing Company Efforts to Set an Example 186

Rally the Troops 186

Social Media and Campaigns 187

#MuteRKelly Movement 187

Time's Up Campaign 187

Discourage Vulgarity in Language 187

Do Not Support Harassers 188

Teach Consent Early 188

Chapter 10 Takeaways for Women in the Sandbox 189

Don't Be One of the Boys 189

Pick Your Battles 189

Draw a Hard Line 190

Don't Be Afraid to Share Your Opinion 191

Don't Be Your Assistant 191

Don't Give Anyone a Reason to Challenge Your Abilities; Be Prepared 191

Don't Date a Colleague 192

Dress Professionally; Don't Be A Distraction 193

Be Confident, but Don't Be a Bitch 193

Monitor Your Emotions 193

Who Are Your Allies? 194

Conclusion 195

Acknowledgments 199

Notes 201

About the Authors 225

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