|Publisher:||Morgan James Publishing|
|Product dimensions:||5.90(w) x 8.90(h) x 0.70(d)|
About the Author
Read an Excerpt
Part I Explore Your Past And Ease Your Pain
In the introduction to this book, I shared very briefly the story of how my parent's divorce impacted me, but let me share a few more details.
I was one of five girls; each of us was born approximately two years apart. My father, John, was a U.S. Air Force B-52 pilot who wasn't home very often. My mother, Janet, was a wonderful, loving, faithful woman who was very dedicated to raising and keeping her children together, regardless of the stress and difficulties.
I have very few memories of my father, and the ones I do have are mostly of his absence. I recall my mom bringing us to the tarmac in our Sunday best to meet his plane. As the band played, excitement, anticipation, and energy permeated the air. I remember him emerging as the airplane door opened, descending the stairs in his pilot's uniform as his six beauties waited for his loving embrace and sweet, endearing comments. I remember feeling proud of my father and his service and dedication to our country — but I always wished there was more time for us, for me!
I longed for my father's love, his physical embrace, protection, and support. Even before my parents' divorce, his constant absence created an inner need that made me search for external love and confirmation to fill an inner void.
Not having a dad in my life was a constant reminder of rejection and abandonment. Even though I had a beautiful, loving mom, she couldn't fill the paternal void. There was always an empty seat at the kitchen table, at my graduation, recitals, and sporting events. He wasn't there to walk me down the aisle and give me away at my wedding. I didn't get to feel his embrace as he proudly waltzed me through the traditional father-daughter dance. He wasn't there to watch my sons grow up. Each one of these experiences, and so many more, were a constant reminder that he had walked away, discarding us — me — as if we were trash. The pain, the emptiness, and loneliness were often hard to come to grips with. Was it really too much to ask that he simply love me?
I grew up feeling stressed, biting my nails, slightly overweight and constantly concerned about what I did and how I did it. I became a tomboy, loving to play outside with the neighborhood boys. I guess I was searching even then for the masculine support and love that I so desperately wanted and needed. I was a happy, extroverted little girl, but I was unsure of myself and I was always seeking approval. I desperately wanted to be liked, and I often held my emotions in until, eventually, they would explode. In some ways, I was like a volcano, the pressure building until I couldn't hold it in anymore.
I couldn't understand how a father could leave five beautiful daughters who ranged from nine months to nine years of age, as well as a wife who was committed and faithful to him. Even as I write these words, after much inner work, I can still feel the sadness of a relationship that never was, but the negative energy has finally been released. Thank Goodness! This one event changed the trajectory of my life, but in hindsight, I can see clearly now that it offered me exactly what I needed for personal growth and empowerment to enable me to follow my destiny and do the work I was born to do.
How can I stop the past from hurting me in the present and future?
My story is living proof that, even as we continue to age, our subconscious mind constantly replays events from our past: surviving a terrible accident; the suffering of a friend; the devastation of a business; financial loss; the death of someone close; abusive relationships; dependency on drugs or alcohol — the list could go on forever. If they aren't dealt with in a healthy way, memories can create a never-ending cycle of fear, judgment, anger, worry, misgivings, doubt, anxiety, and a loss of self.
Tell me one thing that you were unable to survive. If you're here, then you're alive and there is nothing that you haven't been able to endure. No matter what experiences you've had — happy or sad, short or long, devastating or joyful — you managed to navigate through them all, and life carried on. You may have regrets or wish things had turned out differently, but you somehow found a way to get through them. However, the indelible memories of those experiences, deeply coded within your mind, continue to play a huge role in your physical, emotional, and mental health. These memories cannot be changed or altered in any way, but what you'll learn to do in these pages is to acknowledge and accept these past events and memories and choose to release the trapped emotional imprint and live in the now, from a state of acceptance and love.
My life is only a mere extension of my life's purpose.
Of course, you can't just press the delete key and make those memories disappear, and you really don't want to erase them. Everything that has happened to you has occurred for a reason, even though you might not be able to see it clearly yet. Your task is to choose whether you'll let these wounds continue to hold you hostage or look for the gift that lies in your experience. As odd as it sounds, the truth is that your gifts lie next to your wounds. Transforming your personal challenges into your greatest gifts will help to reveal your destiny.
The first step in the Powerful Beyond Measure process is to look at your past in terms of the opportunities life has already presented to you and the lessons you've learned and haven't learned — both positive and negative. This is an integral step in resolving the problems that allow memories to harm your emotional health. It can also be the most challenging, because acknowledging and experiencing these thoughts, feelings, and images again can often be filled with sadness, regret, blame, and anger. Trust me, you won't have to relive the past, but through exploration, you'll be able to uncover the triggers that wounded you. If you don't learn these lessons, you'll probably find that the Universe will continue to provide opportunities to try again and again, often escalating in intensity until you do.
Understanding Your Past
Why do our past images, thoughts and emotions come to mind so frequently?
Why do we relive the negative aspects of our past?
What are we supposed to learn from those experiences?
These are the crucial questions you will explore in Part I of the Powerful Beyond Measure process. You will see how your past and the emotional weight associated with your experiences have been imprinted on your subconscious, how they are often replayed throughout your life, and how you can learn and grow beyond these experiences and memories even today.
If the events of your past hadn't occurred, then your perception, beliefs, and defense mechanisms would also have not been created. Those old perceptions of self and the defense mechanisms you've developed must be changed and lowered to allow you to address your Soul lessons and grow.
As you go through the Powerful Beyond Measure process, you will see that your memories carry a persistent theme that reveals your Soul lessons. You will examine your patterns of behavior and see that your thoughts and emotions feed into your subconscious programming — what you learned from people and experiences in your past — and holds you back today. Unfortunately, we give more emotional weight to the negative events in our lives, so they have more power over us. The good news is that this negative information is actually where your growth and Soul potential lies. Once you can articulate the areas or lessons that you need to address and release the emotional weight that is associated with them, true healing and growth can occur.
You are not your past, unless you choose to live in that space.
The first vital step is to realize that your memories cannot hurt you unless you allow them to. The past is in the past and you never have to relive those painful moments again unless you choose to. If you keep watching that old mental rerun or listening to that same, tired record play again and again, you are choosing to give power to the emotional environment associated with that past experience. You need to ask yourself, "Why do I need to see or listen to this again? What am I not understanding? What can or should I do? What lessons were there to learn? When can I finally put this memory in long-term, permanent storage?"
"He who does not remember the past is condemned to repeat it."
— George Santayana
When you become engaged and work toward your Soul growth, something magical happens. You become awakened, your breath expands, your heart rejoices; there is an excitement and change in intention that propels you forward. You start to see the world as if your sight has suddenly been restored after a long, dark night — everything looks brighter, colors are more vibrant, and an exhilarating energy fills everything within you and all around you. You'll see amazing bits of synchronicity in your everyday life, and you'll find yourself awestruck, wondering, "Is this really how wonderful life can be?"
This is a time for self-exploration, which is a vital component of your understanding so that you can look at your past in a more loving way. I like to think of it as being your own spiritual private investigator. Private investigators seek information, capture pertinent data, and draw objective conclusions. They look at just the facts. When you can use this method — taking a step back to look at your life without passion or judgment, you can figure out which of your emotions are true and which ones are reactions to your perception of past events.
As you approach your past and memories with this private investigator mindset, you'll learn to look at this new knowledge with enthusiasm and realize that current situations are presenting themselves so you can work on these similar concepts for Soul growth. We all have blind spots, just like when we're driving, that make us unable to see all that is going on around us. The same is true when it comes to looking at our lives; we see the most obvious details and emotions, but we have an unsettling feeling that we're missing something, and we can't quite put our finger on it.
It is important that you don't judge yourself as to why you have to learn these lessons or why it has to be so difficult. Recognizing these Soul lessons will bring you into harmony, where you are aligned with your destiny. Everything will continue to support your growth and purpose. Embracing your past and letting go of your judgment will allow you to see more clearly so you can get in touch with your passion, inner power, and desire. You can become content, accepting, and loving of yourself and understand why you are here and the value that you are meant to share with the world.
* * *
Are you ready to begin, asking questions and looking inward for answers will help identify what you need to acknowledge and work on? This exercise encourages you to do just that: find out what you're looking for and where you hope to end up.
Before you begin this exercise, take a few minutes to contemplate, breathe consciously, and release any stress or worry. You may even want to meditate. You want to be open and willing to reflect on your past and identify those aspects that have played a role in your unhappiness.
Remind yourself that you are safe and nothing can hurt you. When you feel relaxed and ready to begin, you will be stepping through the first door of your transformation. Realize all that you observe, gain as knowledge, and identify as emotional weight (pain) are jewels of wisdom that will guide you in the search for your Power Within, which in turn will allow you to be Powerful Beyond Measure.
Please don't just read the questions to this Self-assessment form, but actually answer them. They will provide great insight and serve as a baseline. To obtain a printed copy of self-assessment form, go to www.PowerfulBeyondMeasureBook.com/forms.
Powerful Beyond Measure: Self-assessment Form
1. What would you like to accomplish by reading this book?
2. What is it that you seek — spiritually, physically, mentally, and emotionally?
3. What are your greatest attributes/strengths?
4. What are your greatest weaknesses?
5. What is your greatest fear?
6. Can you list any inner "knowing" of what you consider your spiritual gifts?
7. Are you living a life that is in harmony with your divine purpose? If so, what is it?
8. On a scale from 1 (sad) to 5 (very happy), how happy are you right now? _____________
9. On a scale from 1 (low) to 5 (high), rank how you feel about yourself. _____________
10. If you could wish one thing for yourself, what would it be?
11. What part(s) of your body do you feel you hold your emotional weight and pain?
12. On a scale of 1 (slight) to 10 (severe), what is the pain level of the conditions/symptoms you associate with your emotional weight? (e.g., stomach symptom level 8, wrist symptom level 4).
"What we find changes who we become."
— Peter Morville
"Families are, or should be, a source of emotional support and comfort, warmth and nurturing, protection and security. Family relationships provide children with a critical sense of being valued and with a vital network of historical linkages and social support. Within every healthy family there is a sense of reciprocity — a giving and taking of love and empathy by every family member."
— American Academy of Pediatrics
Power of your past
In the beginning ...
Let's begin your journey of awakening through exploration, empowerment, and enlightenment.
What if you I told you that you chose to come to Earth, into your family, to learn certain lessons and grow spiritually? Would you look at your life or family any differently?
I believe we each have Soul lessons to learn and grow from during our lifetime. The Universe presents us with different windows of opportunities — scenarios and environments that support our spiritual growth. There is no right or wrong, just what is. How we respond, interact, feel, and understand is a choice we make.
In this chapter, I invite you to explore your youngest years. These are the most critical because the understandings and beliefs you took on then formed the template that has influenced you throughout your life. As we begin to explore our past and how it continues to impact us even today, we need to understand how we took on our beliefs and develop a personal understanding of Self.
* * *
Power of Memory Recall
The Power of Memory Recall happens all the time. It's the movie that replays in your mind even when you don't want it to. You've watched it a million times; you can recall the characters, the environment, the dialogue, the climax, and, ultimately, the outcome. Of course, time has a way of changing and twisting the details to fit your understanding and make it more comfortable (even casting blame on others), and most likely that memory isn't even accurate any longer.
Some of you may feel your memories haven't played a significant role in your life, while others feel their past is to blame for all the misery and unhappiness they experience today. There is a wide continuum of how people allow their past to influence their lives. Even so, it's critical to identify the elements of your memory recall because they are the root of what lives, breathes, and grows in your mind, body, and spirit.
Let's start at the very beginning. Understanding the mindset, feelings, and environment of your parents when you were in utero may be very interesting, and it can give you insight as to how you felt loved and wanted. Children are fragile individuals who are constantly being impacted by their environment, as well as their own perception of their experiences. The brain begins to mature in utero, and this growth process continues through most of our lives. A baby enters the world with a still-primitive cerebral cortex, and those first few years of life contribute to their emotional and cognitive maturation. Children's conscious minds are immature, waiting to be stimulated for learning and developing.
What we learn as children lays down neural circuitry that still influences us as adults. Between conception and six years of age, our immature, conscious mind is greatly affected by what we see, hear, and feel. As a result, we create long-lasting beliefs, expectations, and behaviors that continue to be the neural template we take with us into adulthood. As a child, you were unaware of the profound messages that were shaping your personality and behaviors, but that doesn't mean they weren't laying the foundation for who you were to become.
Your mind is like a sponge, taking in information and forming perceptions around the dynamics that occur in your life. Your senses are constantly bombarded with stimuli; in response, you form understandings and beliefs. This concept is very important to understand, because as thinking, mature adults, we can consciously change our old neural ingrained pathways and create new positive, healthy circuitry that can promote health and happiness.(Continues…)
Excerpted from "Powerful Beyond Measure"
Copyright © 2017 Cynthia E. Mazzaferro.
Excerpted by permission of Morgan James Publishing.
All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
Excerpts are provided by Dial-A-Book Inc. solely for the personal use of visitors to this web site.
Table of Contents
Foreword Marci Shimoff xvi
Part I Explore Your Past and Ease Your Pain 1
Power of Your Past 9
Own Your Story 26
Wounds and Self-limiting Beliefs 40
Energy and Emotional Pain 52
Repetitious Patterns 62
Part II Empower Your Present and Embrace Your Self 69
Power of Your Authentic Self 78
Overcome the "Dis-Cycle of Self" 91
Willingness to Tear Down Your Walls of Protection 99
Emotional Health and Fitness 110
Release Fears and Limitations 135
Part III Envision Your Future and Expand Your Possibilities 151
Power of Intuition 161
Own and Create Your Happiness 175
Wellness and Health 194
Envision the Success You Deserve 211
Rejoice-You Are Powerful Beyond Measure! 224
About Cynthia Mazzaferro 236