Prisoner To Poet

Prisoner To Poet

by Devin D. Coleman

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Product Details

ISBN-13: 9781449082284
Publisher: AuthorHouse
Publication date: 02/19/2010
Pages: 148
Product dimensions: 6.00(w) x 9.00(h) x 0.34(d)

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PRISONER TO POET

Thoughts Of An Incarcerated Soul
By Devin D. Coleman

AuthorHouse

Copyright © 2010 Devin D. Coleman
All right reserved.

ISBN: 978-1-4490-8228-4


Chapter One

SECTION I

All the poems in this book reflect something that I've experienced or saw. Going from the "Free World" to living behind the fence is culture shock to say the least. It makes you think about things that were once apart of your life that may be no more. At times it causes you to turn the mirror on yourself. This particular section deals with how I felt about myself, the way I perceived the treatment from others, and how that created a shift in my mentality. At this time in my life I was separated from my family and my loved ones. I was stripped of my rights and my dignity. I was a broken man lost trying to find himself. Right or wrong these were my thoughts. All I ask is that you don't judge me until you walk a mile in my shoes.

A MILE IN MY SHOES

What you don't know can't hurt you? That's a bunch of s**t! Had I known what my mistakes Would cost me, I wouldn't be in this predicament.

It began before I could pin point it. Came to light after I took my plea. One that I considered family Was my worst enemy.

Circumstances and situations Play over and over in My head.

As I lay in this prison bed Wearing prison blues I'm Grateful that I finally realized That I've been mislead.

Lead your own life! Make your own decisions! You have to live with them!

Besides ... fulfilling costs to much. All of this played in my head And I still listened.

Not just about one thing, but everything. That's what happens when your Biological father isn't there.

You're left longing for a relationship With a man. So you attach yourself To the first one that acts like he cares.

Some youngsters are scooped up By pimps, gangsters, drug dealers, Molesters, even abusers.

My fate was to lie in the garden With a snake slithering on his Belly poisoning me with the venom of False affection. As I looked deeper In his eyes I saw the eyes of my accuser.

Hindsight is 20/20 and mistakes Affect lives forever. I took advice On my child, my case, and my Relationship.

As I take off my prison blues when The lights go out I realize that I Can only blame myself.

Young, black, and angry. Angry at the world because of the way It looks at me.

Hopeless, Useless, A menace to society.

Truth be told I'm cold and alone! Hungry for the love and acceptance That always evades me.

That's why I act out at times. That's how I get attention. Otherwise no one knows That I exist.

A grape that life sucked the energy Out of forming a raisin that was Aged thru trials and tribulations Into a fine wine. That is used To drown emotions that arises When one takes time to reminiscence.

Before you envy a man because of the Shoes on his feet realize that theirs A price to pay. So before you purchase Theirs ask yourself a question

Can I walk a Mile in Their Shoes?

REMEMBER ME?

I'm him The same person you use To love and care about. The one with the dreams And ambitions.

Remember Me?

I had all the potential in the World to..... Be a graduate, a lover, a father, A business owner ... Whatever I put my mind to.

Remember Me?

I'm the one who you used to call When things were going wrong And you needed a shoulder to Lean on, to cry on, to shield you From the pressures of the world.

Remember Me?

Then the day came when I Made a mistake. When tragedy Touched my life and I came to You in my time of need.

You said you didn't Remember. You said you Forgot....

Remember Me!

FAMILY

If you had family like me Would you need enemies? The one I felt were closet Turned their backs on me.

Of course there were plenty smiles in my face Along with many knives in my back. By the time I began to realize it I was in the middle of an all out attack.

My character was under assassination And there was little that I could do. If you were outside looking in Would you believe their words were true?

My intentions were always to do right Even still I've done some wrong. Is that a reason to count me out? Or was that the mission all along.

REFLECTIONS

Looking at my past Has left me utterly confused. Wondering what happened in my life To make me fill these shoes.

Mom did the best she could But I don't remember daddy there. Well, only if you count the good times. The bad ones caused him to disappear.

What did I do wrong? To make him walk away? No one to take me fishing Or coach me on a date.

As a man I look in the mirror At my face I cast a stare. Am I looking at the shadow of a man? If I am, who besides me cares?

I'VE BEEN (YET I BELIEVE)

I've been dejected, Suffered thru rejection, I've been ostracized And also cast out.

I've been repressed, Endured oppressive conditions, And suffered thru depression For quite some time.

Yet I stand before you steadfast And unwavering, focused and Relentless.

Something in my soul screams "I can make it!" "Dreams do come true!"

So even though I've been Beat down, bruised, And wounded I'm not going to Stop and nurse my injuries.

I'll crawl until I can walk. I'll plan and strategize until Opportunity presents itself.

Unlike most I hear what people say ... I just take it as a grain of salt. I believe I can make it, Period!

I OFFER NO EXCUSES

Many mistakes made in a past Often reminisced about. A past filled with I should've done this, I could've done that, and Only if this hadn't happened.

Living in a world that doesn't Accept excuses so why should I offer any?

So I stand unapologetically On my own two feet. Eyes ablaze with concentration, While my heart pumps ferociously, As my focus and determination Guides me to another plateau.

Not looking to the left nor the right Because I don't judge myself with What is around me. My compass lies Within. I'm my own best friend And my own worst enemy.

Winners are to busy getting back From setbacks to come up with Excuses.

Mistakes, failures, and disappointment Are mere hurdles turned into stepping Stones.

I jump over them, run thru them, Or tear them down. Careful to Pay attention to the lessons learned.

Victory is the main goal keeping in Mind that if failure builds Character, success unmasks it.

How can you appreciate a win without Ever enduring a loss? How can you Lead another when you're still trying To find yourself?

How can you say I Love You, to another And you have a hard time looking Yourself in the mirror?

You Can't! So man up! And Offer no excuses.

STRUGGLING TO LOVE MYSELF

As I look at myself In the mirror naked ...

I see the "proud flesh" protruding From my chest. Scars on my Knuckles show that I can Hold my own.

But what does that prove?

Hair, eyes, ears, nose, mouth, Arms and legs. Is there more to me than That?

Trying to look into cloudy Eyes that know the truth About what my flesh Hides.

The fear of rejection And failure. Jealousy That reveals the feelings Of inadequacy. Rage, anger, And contempt for a society That punished me for my Weaknesses.

Deeper still is willingness To overcome my shortcomings.

Ambition, loyalty and love! Mixed with courage and strength.

Now I'm aroused by the thought Of facing the unknown. Tired Of waiting and ready to pursue But first I must conquer myself.

So I can hold my head high and Look unblinkingly into the mirror Naked and unashamed.

REAR VIEW MIRROR

Sitting at a stop light while Waiting for the light to change I look into my rearview mirror.

First I was just looking at my face. How it has matured over time. The Childhood innocence it once held Is long gone.

Smiles replaced by the scars of a Painful past. Tear ducts clogged Up and rendered useless.

As I look again into that same Mirror and study my surroundings, A habit learned from watching People get shot up, jacked, and Followed to where they lay their Head just to get robbed. I Notice that the light is green.

Everything is clear so I hit The gas pedal and look at The passenger side of my ride.

Its empty now, but it used to Stay occupied. As a result of Shady dealings, being crossed And back stabbed I chose To ride solo.

I figure it's the nest way to roll. That way niggaz can't size me and Women can't play up under me.

As I ride I make sure that I don't see too many familiar faces In the shadows or a car following To close.

At times looking into that mirror Is like looking into the reflection Of a past that seems so far away. Penitentiary chances, dead friends, and Murdered foes. Mistakes made and Scars to show the lessons learned.

But I did what I had to do to make It. I was tired of being broke. Tired Of dreaming about a big home and Trips around the world. Does The end justify the means?

Either way my main objective is Keeping my head on my shoulders. So from now on I'll continue Looking into my rear view.

SOLITUDE'S STARE

Once a fulfilled man Now is facing solitude's stare. Love once resided in his heart Now its only misery and despair. So much has changed In such a little amount of time. Not noticing the changes occurring Blinded by the sands of time. Love no longer shown As if it was a wasted emotion. Hate crept in and took over With no force or commotion. Tried to be compassionate Tried to live a normal life. Then one incident happened Leaving the residue of pain and strife. Never forgetting what happened Yet and still trying to move on. Always aimed to do right And ended up doing wrong. Some say forgiveness is the key But there isn't a hole in the lock. As if it was filled with concrete Now solid as a rock. Tell me this ... Why should I forgive ... and should I forget? My whole life was altered And I need to vent. Can you hear me cry? Better yet can you see my tears? Living with a hole in my soul Is one of my greatest fears. What is my destiny? What does the future hold?

Heard that it gets better That's often what I'm told. Looking toward the horizon While trying to bend this corner. Because of the trials I've been thru I've decided to be a loner.

WHEN NO ONE CARES

Confined to the torment That missed opportunities bring. The what if's, I should have's And only if freedom would ring.

I've endured the coldest winter in my life, Looked myself in the eyes and saw the Coldness that emits from a hollow heart.

Only because it seems that the things I love the most are lost. Everything I touch is corrupted And everything I ask for is denied.

How can I love, trust, honor, And commit? The ones who supposedly loved me Left me to die!

How can I take a man at His words when most of The men's words I hear Are hollow?

I've healed but only awkwardly. The scars are ugly and fierce. They reach deep into my soul And if you touch them I feel the pain.

When the wound breaks And blood gushes forth There are those that say "You should forgive!"

I have forgave! I just can't Afford to care anymore. I have No desire to repair old Relationships with those who Saw me fall and didn't Offer a hand.

That can only mean one thing The relationship wasn't pure. Wasn't sincere.

Now that I am able to walk and Talk its okay to come around Again?

But when I was battered and Bruised it was unpopular to Be around me.

At my lowest, At my darkest, At my most desperate moment,

NO ONE CARED!

SUICIDAL THOUGHTS

In a delusional state Suicidal thoughts Run rampant in my brain. Wondering if my situation Warrants it or am I Going insane. Started after a wound Was inflicted, infected And wouldn't heal. Not physically but emotionally Numb to the world Wondering if anything is real. Friendships based on convenience And family trying to clean their face. But in the depths of my soul I'm alone missing without A trace. Should I go on or Should I end it all here? If I was gone forever Would anyone shed a tear? Have I fulfilled any capacity To cause one to miss me? Or was my life in vain In that lies the mystery. One part says "Move on, Continue to press ahead!" Then situations whisper in your ear "What's the use, your better off dead?" Like a wounded animal My mind is succumbing to the pain. Then I'm told that in the greatest losses Is where you'll find the most satisfying gains? The blind leading the blind

Leaving them lost in a secluded space. Drained of all energy, yet trying to finish the race. It's a difficult journey When your loved ones forget Your name. Things may get better But they'll never Be the same. I don't think I'll give In. Not going out Without a fight. Victory is eminent But after the pain Of battle will I Recognize its sight?

ALONE IN THE DARK

On the darkest night in The darkest corner of the earth In a darkened room with the Shades pulled, a man sat alone.

Surrounded by four bare walls He sat in the middle of the Room deep in thought.

In front of him sat a mirror and He peered deeply into it. Not only because darkness Surrounded him, but because He tried to look into his soul.

He gazed into his own eyes, a Pair he had seen on numerous Occasions. He saw something He had never seen before. Yet, It looked familiar.

A tear fell, one after another, Then he cried. A gut wrenching Cry that cleansed his soul, not A superficial cry used to draw Sympathy and attention.

Staring back at him were the Eyes that belonged to cold heart. Frozen by mistakes made, consequences Rendered and circumstances of his Environment.

He thought about the warmer days When he could sleep, when he Could dream, when he could Enjoy time with friends and family.

All of these times occurred before Survival became priority number one! Jealousy produced hatred and together Hey walked hand in hand contaminating, Festering, and destroying everything that They came in contact with.

It was at that moment that his heart began to Freeze over, without feelings or Emotions maybe he could escape The death and destruction that Hatred and jealousy produced.

Little did he know that by allowing His heart to turn could he would Be alienating the very ones he Wanted to save ... his loved ones.

Tried as he did to reconstruct bridges That were mangled by the cold winter that His heart produced. Against his better Judgment he tried to warm up, he Tried to love again.

It was a feeling that overwhelmed him And he couldn't describe it with the Clarity it deserved, so he just basked In it's presence.

As he opened the door to his heart Wider and wider day-by-day envy Saw opportunity to creep in. Supported by hatred and resentment, They crept in careful not to alert Him to their presence.

And at his most vulnerable moment They made themselves known. Mounting and attack that was Hard to fight alone. So The love he once embraced Receded into the depths of His soul.

Now he sat in this dark room Because he mourned for the love That was now trapped in the Darkness of his soul. Red flowing Blood was now blue and frozen solid.

As he pondered this while looking into His eyes at the past and present Wondering what the future would Bring he wept. Not caring to wipe The tears that welled up in his eyes And streamed down his face because He was secure in his manhood.

The only thing that bothered him and Now presented itself as his worst Fear was ... would he forever Be a man alone in the dark.

HOLLOW EYES

Watching me stand here now And seeing how I deal with People.

The distance, the mistrust, You'd think I've been Like this for years.

I haven't though I used to feel. I used to have emotions but One moment in time changed all that.

The burden of those feelings Proved to be too much for me To bear and I cut them loose.

It was either that or allow anger And resentment to take hold And eat me alive ... Inside out.

That's why when you look at My eyes they look hollow. But if you take a deeper look, Real deep ...

You'll see what was once a loyal soldier. One who believed and stood firm On his word.

You'll see the pleasure of my Life but it was stripped form Me and pain set in.

You'll see my past because That's the only thing that's clear. You see my future is uncertain.

I'm a battered and bruised Warrior in a land where Soldiers are scorn because They aren't beautiful Anymore.

Their hands are calloused from Handling things most men can't Handle. Their skin is leathery From weathering storms that Most would evacuate from.

If I didn't discard my feelings I wouldn't have survived. It has been hard. I've seen The strongest buckle! The hardest cry! And all the survivors Have hollow eyes!

A SECLUDED PLACE

Hard times affect everybody On this side of eternity.

It's at those times when you Have to go to that special Place to be alone.

It's a place where the clothes That you're wearing don't matter. Neither does the type of shoes on your feet. The way your hair is cut, the way Your body is built is irrelevant.

In that place your income, Background or race doesn't Even come into play.

That's the place you need to find when The pressure of life is so hard that It feels like four walls caving in When nobody listens or cares. When The weight of the world rests on Your shoulders and you can't get Any release.

Find that place to get your release. Rejuvenate yourself. Sometimes we Have to escape the immediate pressures Of our reality in order to fortify ourselves For the long haul.

So when life goes from raining to Pouring, from better to worse, and richer To poorer. You need to find your Secluded place.

(Continues...)



Excerpted from PRISONER TO POET by Devin D. Coleman Copyright © 2010 by Devin D. Coleman. Excerpted by permission.
All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
Excerpts are provided by Dial-A-Book Inc. solely for the personal use of visitors to this web site.

Table of Contents

Contents

A Mile in My Shoes....................3
Remember Me?....................6
Family....................7
Reflections....................8
I've Been (Yet I Believe)....................10
I Offer No Excuses....................11
Struggling To Love Myself....................14
Rear View Mirror....................16
Solitude's Stare....................19
When No One Cares....................21
Suicidal Thoughts....................23
Alone In the Dark....................25
Hollow Eyes....................28
A Secluded Place....................30
Fighting For My Life....................31
Shell Of A Man....................34
A Diamond In The Rough....................35
Actions....................41
My Grandma....................42
Reminiscing About My Grandma....................46
I Should've Been There....................47
Cheering Section....................49
No More....................51
Thinking Of My Mother....................52
Unconditional Love....................54
The Heart And Soul Of A Warrior....................57
A Soldier's Life....................61
So You ....................64
You Must Be Willing....................66
Twin 45's....................68
Gun Powder Residue....................69
Untitled....................70
Distance Yourself....................71
Down And Out....................72
Bid Your Time....................73
Flip Side....................74
This Life We Lead....................75
My Brother's Keeper....................78
It Comes With The Bid....................81
Trying To Change....................83
Hold Your Head (Dedicated To Isaiah Caldwell AKA Zeke)....................86
A Single Tear....................89
Visions....................92
Die Another Day....................93
A Voice....................94
Lost....................95
One Revolution....................96
The Voyage....................98
Hunger And Thirst....................99
Turbulent Waters....................100
Blue....................102
Storms....................103
Snake In The Grass....................105
Love Is A Rose....................109
Beauty Is Her Name....................111
So Seductive....................112
Can You Imagine....................114
A Conversation With Her....................115
If....................116
Standards....................117
A Touch....................119
I Wonder....................121
The Gift And The Curse....................122
Illusions....................123
Dare To Dream....................124
We Belong Together....................125
A Deep Love....................126
Object Of My Affection II....................127
Not Your ....................129
I Want To....................130
Let Me Love You....................131

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Prisoner To Poet 5 out of 5 based on 0 ratings. 2 reviews.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
This was a great book, and very inspiring to read. I purchased this book and was very intrigued by the poems. I give the poet 5 stars.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago