Queen Bees & Wannabes: Helping Your Daughter Survive Cliques, Gossip, Boyfriends & Other Realities of Adolescence

Queen Bees & Wannabes: Helping Your Daughter Survive Cliques, Gossip, Boyfriends & Other Realities of Adolescence

by Rosalind Wiseman
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Queen Bees & Wannabes: Helping Your Daughter Survive Cliques, Gossip, Boyfriends & Other Realities of Adolescence by Rosalind Wiseman

The Basis for the Movie Mean Girls

Do you feel as though your adolescent daughter exists in a different world, speaking a different language and living by different laws? She does.

This groundbreaking book takes you inside the secret world of girls’ friendships, translating and decoding them, so parents can better understand and help their daughters navigate through these crucial years. Rosalind Wiseman has spent more than a decade listening to thousands of girls talk about the powerful role cliques play in shaping what they wear and say, how they feel about school, how they respond to boys, and how they feel about themselves. In this candid and insightful book, Wiseman discusses:

• Queen Bees, Wannabes, Targets, Torn Bystanders, and others: how to tell what role your daughter plays and help her be herself
• Girls’ power plays, from birthday invitations to cafeteria seating arrangements and illicit parties, and how to handle them
• Good popularity and bad popularity: how cliques bear on every situation
• Hip Parents, Best-Friend Parents, Pushover Parents, and others: examine your own parenting style, “Check Your Baggage,” and identify how your own background and biases affect how you relate to your daughter
• Related movies, books, websites, and organizations: a carefully annotated resources section provides opportunities to follow up on your own and with your daughter

Enlivened with the voices of dozens of girls and parents and a welcome sense of humor, Queen Bees and Wannabes is compelling reading for parents and daughters alike. A conversation piece and a reference guide, it offers the tools you need to help your daughter feel empowered and make smarter choices.

Product Details

ISBN-13: 9781400047925
Publisher: Crown Publishing Group
Publication date: 03/04/2003
Edition description: Reprint
Pages: 352
Product dimensions: 5.20(w) x 8.00(h) x 1.00(d)

About the Author

ROSALIND WISEMAN is cofounder of the Empower program, a not-for-profit organization that works to empower girls and boys to stop violence. She is an advisor to Liz Claiborne’s Women’s Work program and has been featured on The Oprah Show and CNN and in publications such as USA Today, the Washington Post, and the New York Times. She lives in Washington, D.C.

From the Hardcover edition.

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Queen Bees & Wannabes: Helping Your Daughter Survive Cliques, Gossip, Boyfriends & Other Realities of Adolescence 4.4 out of 5 based on 0 ratings. 19 reviews.
Guest More than 1 year ago
First, I want to thank you for writing this book. After my initial shock of discovering that I have a 'Queen Bee' of my own and she is only in 5th grade, I have learned how to approach her and how to deal with issues that pop up on a day to day basis. I have handed off my copy to another mother who is now devouring it and hopefully she will survive too!
Guest More than 1 year ago
The self -help book Queen Bees & Wannabes is by Rosalind Wiseman and is the book on which the popular movie Mean Girls was based on. It is a parents¿ guide to helping ones daughter through friendship, boyfriend problems and any other troubles that adolescents may face. The book¿s major theme is that parents can help their daughters as they grow into teenagers and beyond. Queen Bees & Wannabes not only gives a clear view of what is happening in a teenage life, but it also contains guidelines to help them with various situations that come her way. Since the author deals with girls and their problems on a daily basis, she can advise the reader how to handle every situation depending on what position their daughter is in. Also she gives the reader many alternative solutions for a problem. In addition to the author¿s comments on what happens in a girl¿s life, many adolescences also comment throughout the book. So parents can, see what really goes through their daughters mind and find out what works for a child and what does not. Rosalind Wiseman has an ability to make everyone equal in the book. Some parts in the book that readers will enjoy are that the author gives definitions of different parenting styles/ what role a girl stands in at school. From that, each chapter will explain what is happening, how the girl is feeling, what part she plays in it, and how to help depending on what her role is in school. The book also gives problem scenarios and how others will react in them. A part I thought was very fun was the back movie list, where the author named a few movie titles that gives one a visual of what happens in a girl¿s life. Watching them is also a good way to spend time with your daughter and connect to her world. The book talks about anything from how to deal with a child not being on the invitation list for a birthday party to how to talk with adolescence about drugs. From a kids prospective, this book tells exactly what happens at school and what everyone thinks. This book helped me see what teen girls really go through and how to deal with the problems they face, in the best possible manner. Whether your daughter comes crying home everyday, or is the queen bee of school or does not tell you a single detail of what is going on in her life, this book will help you understand her and is the key to helping her.
Guest More than 1 year ago
This excellent book fleshes out what children, particularly girls, experience at ages as young as pre-school. Our children are attending school at earlier ages and have social challenges earlier as a result. Identifying and understanding the social pressures they are exposed to and and deal with starting at these early ages helps us as parents and educators assist them in the social learning process. These early social experiences, as subtle as they can be, influence social skills, choice of social circles, etc. and may continue their influence later in life. it is important for us to be aware of their existence and influence. Thank you.
Guest More than 1 year ago
Whether you have a son or daughter this book will guide the 'lost' parent back into their child¿s life. As we adults get older we lose touch on what life was like in high school and the drama that follows. I recommend this book to anyone who has teenagers also start reading before they reach the age of twelve. Just read the book and you will see what I mean.
Guest More than 1 year ago
I read this book about two weeks ago it was a helpful guide to other teenagers and me. This book was about teenage girls surviving personal problems and giving their parents a step by step manual of understanding what their daughters were experiencing.
Guest More than 1 year ago
I bought this book two years ago so I could better understand my teen daughter, although I still do not understand her I found the book very helpful. Although the book is aimed toward adolescents I think it would be helpful to parents of all girls no matter what their ages. My daughter got her first taste of cliques and what happens to girls who aren't in the popular clique when she was in 4th grade, so don't think this is only a problem among teens. I have referred several friends to this book and will continue to do so.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
askarden More than 1 year ago
As a clinical social work psychotherapist who works with kids that have been scapegoated, and bullied and who has given workshops and appearances on TV on this topic, I found Wiseman's book to be very informative and helpful. Popularity comes at quite a cost. I think relational bullying has it's roots in insecurity, low self esteem and ostensibly wanting to be seen and accepted. My experience with the bully, especially relational female bullying, are children that do not feel that they belong comfortably at home. Generally there is family strife and somehow this child feels squeezed out. I have found the peek of relational bullying, as Wiseman, to be in the Middle School years, beginning in the later part of Elementary and "dying off" in early High School. Ofcourse there are exceptions. This summer my daughter, a senior camp counselor, had to deal with bullying in her 12 year old female campers group. One gal appeared to be the bully with a Wannabe along for the ride. A few of the girls were extremely sensitive to being made fun of and excluded as well. My daughter tried her best to deal with this. She said to me, "Mom the biggest problem are the Moms, who are overly involved and have popularity issues from their past and are living through their daughters." I was amazed how my daughter, now age 20, got this concept. As parents we really need to be aware of our impact on our daughters to be the best we can be without having to put any one else down. Respect for Self and Others is the key to self esteem and worth. Wiseman's book is a great spring board for discussion. I am in the midst of creating a Blog for Moms, helping them strengthen their relationship with their Teenage Daughter, that will be issue driven. I'm looking forward to having a conversation with both Mom and their daughters. A book proposal is in the works as well. Check my Web www.askarden.com for updates and take a look at my Video's(Media) for my work with Parents.tv Much love and peace from Ask Arden
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Busy__Mom More than 1 year ago
As a mom of a 15 year old daughter, I felt that I needed help relating to my daughter's world so I checked out the summaries on ParentsDigest.com. I immediately downloaded this title and am so glad I did as it has given insight into the complicated life of the modern teenage girl and helped me better communicate with my daughter.
Laurs More than 1 year ago
This book that book you wish you would have read earlier in life. I am still a teenager and this book helped me to understand those nasty girls in middle school, and the obstacles I have yet to face. I think even adults have a lot to learn from even, as it gives you the insight you need to why people behave the way they do. It¿s an excellent read because it provides understandable examples and life like situations that ¿us girls or women¿ can all relate to. Finally someone has done it! It¿s not a high-vocabulary, impossible to understand, book that flies way above your head. You still learn mounds of useful, relevant information. You don¿t necessarily need to read this book in order, it is more of a guide than a story, but does refer to previous chapters. Rosalind Wiseman speaks from pure experience as she explains the encounters she has had with average girls from every end of the spectrum, the ¿victim¿ and the ¿predator¿ and everyone in between. The only discrepancy I could nit-pick on- is that she tags somewhat of a stereotypical stigma to girls and boys. But, for the most part it is accurate. Any girl, whether you are ten, seventeen or forty five should read this nonfiction book, because it helps you understand the hard times you faced in high school, helps you deal with what you face now, or helps you understand what you have yet to face. It is a book that uncovers the lives of girls and women, to empower us to become better, stronger and more successful in the opportunities life throws at us. Great read, and really does make a difference!
Guest More than 1 year ago
This book makes everyone think that if your popular your mean. NOT TRUE. half the time the daughters who are called 'wannabees' are judgemental and jealous so they just guess you're mean before they even know you. I'm one of the more poular girls and everyone judges me and thinks im mean just because im pretty but once they get to know me I'm really nice. Don't read this book.
Guest More than 1 year ago
This booked rocked my world. I found it disturbing but genuine. This is a book that tells it like it is.
Guest More than 1 year ago
It really put things into perspective for me.
Guest More than 1 year ago
queen bees and wanna bees is a GOOOOOD BOOK! if you every see thea movie mean girl staring linsdy lohan and you like it so much then you will absouloty love queen bees and wanna bees
Guest More than 1 year ago
I think that this book tuched base in ways that most books about teen adolescents never did. I though that how she explaned everything was just easy to understand. I thought that I related so much to what she talked about in this book.
Guest More than 1 year ago
This is an awesome book if you want to know what your daughter iis feeling in 'social hirachy' I have never read a book this good and I recamend it to all cancerned mothers