rad.i.cal (adjective): very different from the usual or traditional
What kind of marriage do you want?
Most couples don't want an ordinary, boring, routine relationship. They want excitement, fun, closeness, love.
When we get married we make vows to be together until death do us part, but 50% of marriages don't or can't keep that commitment. We have a dream or vision of how we want our life together to be. If we don't believe our dream is possible we feel hopeless, stuck, and eventually leave the marriage mentally, emotionally, and often physically.
Happiness vs. Fulfillment
It's fascinating that what made us happy before eventually becomes no longer good enough. This is because there's a difference between "happiness" and "fulfillment." Happiness is transient and what makes you "happy" can change from moment to moment, while "fulfillment" is about meeting deeper needs and is more lasting.
So, What is a "Radical Marriage"?
What does a Radical Marriage look like? No-one really knows because this is largely uncharted territory and individual for each couple. You can see glimpses in other couple relationships when they seem incredibly connected and in love, long after their honeymoon. These are the couples that inspire you to think "I want to be like THAT!"
We identify six keys areas of a Radical Marriage that are covered in this book-
1. Radical Commitment (Chapter 3):
Beyond your marriage vows you both are absolutely 100% committed to your marriage no matter what, and you are as committed to your partner's happiness as your own. You each take 100% responsibility for the relationship, your experience in the relationship and for your outcomes in the relationship.
2. Radical Communication (Chapters 4-6):
You know how to effectively exchange information so that it is thoroughly understood, and you know how to resolve differences and move on from conflict to get on with the serious business of fulfilling your dreams.
3. Radical Intimacy (Chapter 7):
You are completely transparent to your partner, don't hold anything back, and share all your thoughts, feelings, wants, needs, fantasies and desires.
4. Radical Romance (Chapter 8):
You continually express your love, appreciation, attraction and adoration for your partner in words and actions and don't take your relationship for granted or allow passion to be replaced by routine.
5. Radical Sex (Chapter 9):
Beyond satisfying physical urges, you consciously seek and experience emotional, physical, and spiritual connection every day, continually exploring new ways to express love and pleasure your partner and allowing yourself to be loved and pleasured.
6. Radical Living (Chapter 10):
Beyond survival and comfort, you consciously design your lifestyle together, develop your shared vision and goals, devote time and resources to realizing your dreams in each moment together as well as prioritizing your goals and preparing for your future. You are aware of how short your time is on this planet and savor each precious moment of life and being together.
Is a Radical Marriage For You?
Radical Marriage requires a strong relationship, so if yours is struggling you must focus on the basics. Radical Marriage requires a willingness to take emotional risks, which can induce stress when you're more wired for routine. It requires inviting and embracing evolution and change, which is against the grain for those who would rather watch TV, drink beer, and fall asleep on the couch.
Radical Marriage is for couples who believe that they are together for a reason, which is to experience life to the fullest through their relationship.
Most Helpful Customer Reviews
The notion of happiness is always changing. As a society, we expect our happiness to culminate on our fairytale wedding day. Yet what happens the day after and the day after that? It seems to me that we are not the princesses and princes from childhood novels. The reality is that marriage is work. But this doesn’t mean we can’t achieve happiness while working through our marriage. In Chapter Two, the authors emphasize that both people have to be fully committed in a marriage. This means that each person has to give 100%. There are tools described in the book that can help couples along the way though. The Communication Map is a guide to help couples stick with the issues until solutions are found. My favorite quote from the book is “You Don’t Know What You Don’t Know.” The day will come when you and your partner have to ask for help. Once again, this calls for staying with the problem in the marriage longer. It is tough as nails to do, but so worth it when each person is committed. The second tool is the Relationship Journal which allows for partners to spend time together without distractions. Many people assume that their partner will always stay the same. That he/she will never change, and shouldn’t change. However, we are always changing. While it is natural to want comfort and stability, we have to understand that nothing stays the same. What struck me the most is what I discovered in Chapter Seven, we all have an upper limit and lower limit. I have been well aware of my lower limit, but never thought about my upper limit. While our lower limit is when we can no longer handle anymore suffering, our upper limit is when we have reached the threshold of happiness. This is so profound to me because I never realized that I can only handle a certain amount of happiness. I have realized that in order to be more fulfilled in life, I have to push my upper limit. It is OK to be even happier. I received a free copy of the book in exchange for an honest review.
Nobody gets married and hopes to have a mediocre good-enough marriage. I think we all dream of finding our soul mate, someone to share our hopes and dreams with and becoming the best version of ourselves. These days people are not only settling for less than they deserve, but they are giving up too quickly when times get rough and the divorce rate in this country is ridiculous. I think not only is "Radical Marriage" a very relevent book, I think that it is an important read for any married couple. David and Darlene have written an amazing book for those people who want to turn their good marriages into extraordinary ones. This is different from the majority of self-help books because most focus on how to fix a bad marriage by "Radical Marriage" is actually showing how to take your happy functional marriage and make it even better! I appreciated the ease of this book and how the authors have broken it down into 6 different radical topics: radical commitment, radical communication, radical intimacy, radical romance, radical sex, and radical living. They explain that the process is not easy and both husband and wife must be willing to give 100% because it takes effort, creativity, and intention to make a radical marriage to work. I cannot wait to have my husband read this book and start practicing some of the ideas that are found within because I am not going to settle for a boring monotonous marriage but I am going to strive for an amazingly radical one!! I received a free copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.
I liked the idea that this author was at first a counselor. He was seeing so many marriages fall apart, regardless of counseling, so he decided to take a new approach and discovered coaching. Why not try to make things better before they may turn sour? I would recommend this book to any engaged couple or those seriously contemplating marriage as well as those who've been married a long time, such as myself. As a Catholic Christian there were a couple of things I did not agree with. It is not portrayed as a Christian book though, so that is understandable. I would still have my Christian friends read it. In the back of the book they even state they do support your religious values. It had some very powerful statements in it that really had me thinking. It is nice because almost every other page has a short sentence or two recapping the page. I think it would be helpful to read just those statements every now and then to refresh the main points. I wish everybody had this type of marriage. I wish everyone took marriage this seriously. The author states... True commitment says , "Im not going anywhere, you are safe with me". There are 7 appendixes in the back. One of them gives additional questions and activities to help you deepen your marriage as well as one with extra resources. A great book with thought provoking insights as to what you and your spouse can do to become so much happier together. Give it a try! I received a copy of the book in exchange for an honest review.
From the title, Radical Marriage appears to be targeted to married couples looking to improve their relationship, but it is truly a wonderful resource for any romantic (or non-romantic) relationship! There are so many "ah-ha" moments that make so much sense, and I feel like almost anyone could benefit from the lessons being communicated in this book. I have been with my boyfriend for four years and I could apply anything and everything to our relationship, despite not being married yet. What struck me the most about how the authors composed this book is how often it was learning how to get clear on how *I* feel before even approaching any kind of relationship-related topics. So much of what I learned had to do with listening to myself, like reflecting on the difference between facts (the sky is blue) from judgements (the blue sky is pretty!). The layout of the book itself is easily followed and full of resources. The authors do a great job of building on key concepts learned early on, at times even reminding the reader where the topic was introduced in case they need a refresher. Additionally, there are so many helpful "activities," like The Communication Map and the Relationship Journal. My favorite parts were the chapters on communication because, again, I could apply them in my current relationship with my boyfriend and could also adapt them to use in non-romantic relationships (like friendships or my relationship with my parents). I enjoyed the concept of "always say yes" - which is not about agreeing to things you don't want to do, but providing an alternative instead of saying "no" outright. I would recommend this to anyone looking to improve their marriage or any romantic relationship. It's so helpful without being preachy, and even if you only take away a handful of ideas from it, it's worth it. I received a copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.
Radical Marriage is written by a couple who have worked as relationship councilors, who are sharing their advice on how to create a radical marriage. The radical marriage, where a couple takes charge of their marriage, with knowing and being responsible for their own needs, and work together, is possible, according to the authors, if the couple truly work toward these goals. I like that they advocate thoughtful relationships, and show how being thoughtful and proactive can really create a wonderful partnership. I like the set of promises that you make to your partner, especially the promise to take responsibility. I think that taking the approach of being truly and consciously part of a relationship is key, and the authors show why this is important and why it works. Definitely an interesting book on how to make a strong relationship. I received a free copy of the book in exchange for an honest review.
Finally a book to help make a good marriage better, not a bad marriage good! Every married couple that is 100% committed to each other but has fallen into a boring routine should read this book...which honestly is most couples I know. My marriage is good, but we have young children and its so easy to put your marriage on the back burner and focus on raising your children and this book suggested doing exactly the opposite. I also particularly love the advice that compromise is a lose lose situation...yes, so true! Makes me wonder, why does everyone say successful marriage is about compromise in which no one is happy with the result? No wonder the divorce rate is as high as its ever been...no one ever gets what they want/need from their relationship. I could list tons of advice I found helpful and plan to use to make my marriage great, but to truly benefit, you need to read this book! I highly suggest this book to every happily married couple because every relationship has room for improvement and who doesn't want beyond happily ever after. A must read! I received a free copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.
David and Darlene Steele have written a great book on how to take a good marriage and make it extraordinary. There are so many marital self-help books for bad marriages, but this is the first book I have seen that helps a good marriage become even better. I think that the idea of marriage today is becoming less and less appealing. With the divorce rate higher than it's ever been, affairs becoming more prominent and accepted in society, and marriage on the whole looked upon as an old-fashion idea, more and more people are choosing to live together without getting married. This book shows you what you can do to make your marriage more exciting and more fulfilling than you ever thought possible. This can revolutionize the way people view marriage. There are six different radical topics discussed in this book: commitment, communication, intimacy, romance, sex, and living. The authors describe how a couple can experience each of these in a radical new way that can bring a couple closer than they have ever dreamed. Each requires work and dedication, and may be a little bit scary, but I think the ideas presented are really fabulous. I look forward to incorporating these ideas in my marriage. I would highly recommend this book to any couple who already have a good and completely committed marriage, but would like to take it to the next level and have a relationship better than they ever imagined. I was given a free book in exchange for an honest review.