Raising Kids to Thrive: Balancing Love With Expectations and Protection With Trust

by Kenneth R. Ginsburg

Overview

From award-winning author Ken Ginsburg comes this new work which explores an innovative idea in parenting: "The Lighthouse Parenting Strategy." This strategy answers 2 of the toughest questions with which parents struggle: 1) How do I give my child the unconditional love he needs to thrive, while also holding him to high expectations? and 2)How do I protect my child while also letting her learn life's lessons?

This content includes some of the proven concepts based on positive youth development and resilience and combines new research with expert opinion to help parents consider how to approach these tough questions. Perspectives from over 500 teen interviews are also part of this groundbreaking work.

Product Details

ISBN-13:	9781581108675
Publisher:	American Academy of Pediatrics
Publication date:	03/24/2015
Pages:	200
Product dimensions:	5.90(w) x 8.90(h) x 2.10(d)

About the Author

Kenneth R. Ginsburg, MD, MS Ed, FAAP, is an associate professor of pediatrics at the University of Pennsylvania School of Medicine and practices adolescent medicine at The Children's Hospital of Philadelphia. He is author of Building Resilience in Children and Teens: Giving Kids Roots and Wings and But I'm Almost 13!" An Action Plan for Raising a Responsible Adolescent. He is the father of 2 children and lives in Philadelphia.

Table of Contents

Acknowledgments xiii

Preface xv

Introduction xix

Part 1 Unconditional Love Versus High Expectations 1

Overview 1

What You Will Learn 1

Chapter 1 The Protective Force of Parental Love 3

Chapter 2 Why Does Love Sometimes Feel Like a One-way Street? 11

Chapter 3 Can We Be Too Connected to Our Children? 17

Chapter 4 Setting High Expectations for Success and Morality 21

Chapter 5 High Expectations Gone Awry: The Problem With Focusing Mainly on Academic Performance 31

Chapter 6 Setting Expectations That Promote Success 41

Chapter 7 Setting Clear Expectations About Risky Behaviors 61

Moments for Personal Reflection or Serious Discussion 64

Part 2 Protection Versus Learning From Life's Lessons 67

Overview 67

What You Will Learn 67

Chapter 8 Protection Versus Preparation 71

Chapter 9 The Upside of Failure 83

Chapter 10 Navigational Strategies 97

Chapter 11 Preparing Your Child for a Stressful World 117

Chapter 12 Loving Boundaries 133

Chapter 13 Effective Monitoring 147

Chapter 14 Parenting Toward Lifelong Interdependence 163

Moments for Personal Reflection or Serious Discussion 168

Part 3 The Voice of Youth 171

Overview 171

Chapter 15 Eliciting the Youth Perspective 175

Chapter 16 The Youth Perspective: Love Versus Expectations 183

Chapter 17 The Youth Perspective: Protection Versus Trust 201

Part 4 Rebooting: Moving Toward the Relationship You Hope to Have 211

Overview 211

Chapter 18 Getting Started: Laying the Groundwork for Productive Communication 213

Chapter 19 Creating the Space for Change 219

Chapter 20 Communication 101: Listening and Talking 231

Chapter 21 Communication 201: It's More Than What You Say 237

Chapter 22 Guiding Our Kids to Own Their Solutions 241

Chapter 23 A Chapter for Young People: First Steps Toward a Better Relationship With Your Parents 247

Parting Thoughts 261

Index 263

Editorial Reviews

"The esteemed Ginsburg (Children’s Hospital of Pennsylvania) presents a true gem, which beautifully balances such questions as: 'How do I protect my child while letting her learn life’s lessons?' with poignant specifics, “You might be tempted to do what comes easily; you might even feel like you’re a natural, but you’ll get bored if you lack interest and the field doesn’t challenge you,” to create an inspiring yet task-oriented read. Interspersed with heartfelt quotes from youngsters, the narrative will renew parents’ appreciation for the struggles of growing up and the oh-so-important things parents do and say that make a difference. VERDICT: With an easy style and research-based advice, Ginsburg has his finger on the pulse of today’s parents and children. Read. Learn. Do." Library Journal starred review

"Have you ever heard of 'lighthouse parenting'? If not, it's about to change your world . . ." - Family Circle

". . . eloquent, insightful, and compassionate . . . the views of both parents and teens are artfully woven into a narrative that models collaboration and mutual respect . . . Ginsburg is unmatched in his ability to synthesize the latest research and drill down to the core essentials of any parenting issue."- Lonnie Stonitsch, Exec. Director, Family Action Network

" . . . what you'll learn reads like poetry, and the threads of advice and woven-in quotations from teens make fair parenting with thoughtful love feel very possible. . . Dr Ginsburg's approach blended with science, anecdotes, and expertise from all angles can help us parent with the love we want while providing the protection we know is essential." -Wendy Sue Swanson, MD, MBE, FAAP, Author, Mama Doc Medicine

"Wading through conflicting "expert" parenting advice is challenging. Applying that knowledge for your own family in real time can be downright overwhelming . . .We can always count on Dr Ginsburg to translate the best of research and practice into language we can understand and to coach us on structured strategies we can use at home . . . what takes this book to the next level is the richness of the youth voices included in these pages. . . Dr Ken's books are required reading for parents in our practice." -Susan Sugerman, MD, MPH, Girls to Women Health and Wellness, Dallas, TX


" . . . Dr Ginsburg masterfully synthesizes 2 decades of research on best practices with suggestions on how parents can creatively apply these principles to help their kids make real-life decisions in real time. . . Perhaps what I like best is that he wrote this book with his 2 teenaged daughters, Ilana and Talia. Their perspective, and that gleaned from interviews of more than 500 diverse young people across the country, is infused throughout . . . listening to other people's children is a great starting point for really hearing our own. -Martie Bernicker, Executive Director, SpeakUp!"

"America's favorite pediatrician, colleague, and expert on resilience is thankfully back. Ginsburg reminds us once again that the sine qua non of effective parenting is unconditional love and high expectations...Here he synthesizes research with practical expert-driven advice and weaves it together with the views from more than 500 youth to help us learn how to apply these foundational principles in our complicated world . . ." - Madeline Levine, PhD; Author, The Price of Privilege and Teach Your Children Well

From the Publisher

★ 08/01/2015
The esteemed Ginsburg (Children's Hospital of Pennsylvania) presents a true gem, which beautifully balances such questions as: "How do I protect my child while letting her learn life's lessons?" with poignant specifics ("You might be tempted to do what comes easily; you might even feel like you're a natural, but you'll get bored if you lack interest and the field doesn't challenge you") to create an inspiring yet task-oriented read. Interspersed with heartfelt quotes from youngsters, the narrative will renew parents' appreciation for the struggles of growing up and the oh-so-important things parents do and say that make a difference. VERDICT With an easy style and research-based advice, Ginsburg has his finger on the pulse of today's parents and children. Read. Learn. Do.

Library Journal