Raising the Challenging Child: How to Minimize Meltdowns, Reduce Conflict, and Increase Cooperation

Raising the Challenging Child: How to Minimize Meltdowns, Reduce Conflict, and Increase Cooperation


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What's the worst you've ever faced as a parent? An all-out tantrum at the mall? A son who won't take out his earbuds to listen to you? A daughter who's failing at school and won't do her homework? A teen who constantly breaks curfew? A call from the police? Whatever you're dealing with, Raising the Challenging Child will help.

Building on their work at Chaddock, a nonprofit organization that has worked with some of the most challenging kids in the nation for more than 150 years, the authors empower frustrated parents with practical tips and real-life examples on how to

- minimize behavioral meltdowns
- reduce conflict
- increase cooperation
- promote healthy attachment
- improve family relationships

The strategies they share work both for the child who is going through a difficult phase brought on by life disruption or trauma, and for the child who faces chronic struggles. Parents, teachers, and those who work with children and youth will find positive, practical steps they can start taking today in order to understand and address the baffling behavior of the child under their care.

Product Details

ISBN-13: 9780800735241
Publisher: Baker Publishing Group
Publication date: 01/07/2020
Pages: 272
Sales rank: 361,585
Product dimensions: 5.60(w) x 8.60(h) x 1.20(d)

About the Author

Karen Doyle Buckwalter, MSW, LCSW, is director of program strategy at Chaddock in Quincy, Illinois. She serves on the board of directors' advisory board of the Theraplay® Institute in Chicago and has trained and consulted at family behavioral health organizations and youth foster care centers in the US, the UK, Australia, Denmark, and beyond. In addition to her degrees, Karen completed a two-year marriage and family therapy training program and 500-plus hours in diverse modalities including Theraplay®, Trust-Based Relational Intervention (TBRI), and other attachment, trauma, and developmental approaches.

Debbie Reed is president and CEO of Chaddock. Currently engaged in doctoral studies, she has also played a leadership role in child- and family-serving organizations at the state and national levels, including the Illinois Department of Children and Family Services' Child Welfare Advisory Committee, the CEO council of the internationally recognized Alliance for Strong Families and Communities, and the national board of the United Methodist Association of Health and Welfare Ministries. In addition, she trains and consults with organizations on topics related to nonprofit leadership.

Wendy Lyons Sunshine
is an award-winning writer and coauthor of The Connected Child, with over a quarter million copies sold. She is an editorial consultant for leading nonprofits and has written for media outlets including Health, AARP magazine, Scientific American, American Way, and the New York Times.

Table of Contents

Acknowledgments 9

Introduction 11

Part 1 Be a Leader

1 Invest in the Relationship Bank 17

2 Let Everyone Calm Down 27

3 Take Charge and Stay in Charge 37

4 Provide Clear, Consistent Limits 47

5 Balance Structure and Nurture 57

6 Respond, Don't React 67

7 Share Power to Gain Power 73

8 Be Playful and Surprising 79

9 Apologize If You Make a Mistake 87

10 Keep the Goal in Mind 91

Part 2 Dig Deeper

11 Respond to What's beneath Behaviors 97

12 It's Okay to Revisit an Earlier Stage 111

13 Real Solutions Involve the Whole Family 117

14 Change Up Your Steps in the Dance 123

15 Don't Ask, "What's Wrong?" 131

16 All Kids Do Goofy Things 139

17 Help a Child Feel Validated and Valued 149

18 Talking Back Is Better Than Hitting 155

19 Celebrate Who Your Child Really Is 161

20 Look for What's behind Your Own Reactions 169

Part 3 Prepare for Success

21 Take Care of Yourself 183

22 Say It without No 191

23 Every Two Hours, Feed and Water the Kids 193

24 Stay Alert to What Your Child Really Needs 199

25 Do It Together 209

26 Give Healthy Touch 215

27 Be Present for the Teachable Moments 223

28 Rehearse for Tough Situations 231

29 Expect Some Conflict 237

30 The Gift Your Child Wants Is You 245

Resources 251

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