Raising Witches: Teaching The Wiccan Faith To Children

Raising Witches: Teaching The Wiccan Faith To Children

by Ashleen O'Gaea
Raising Witches: Teaching The Wiccan Faith To Children

Raising Witches: Teaching The Wiccan Faith To Children

by Ashleen O'Gaea

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Overview

This is the first book that gives parents the means to teach their children Wicca in a more formal fashion. Featuring a Wiccan curriculum for each of the five age groups from infancy to young adulthood, O'Gaea shows parents how to effectively weave Wicca into a child's natural progression of learning.

Product Details

ISBN-13: 9781564146311
Publisher: Red Wheel/Weiser
Publication date: 09/12/2002
Pages: 224
Product dimensions: 5.25(w) x 8.25(h) x 0.48(d)

About the Author

Ashleen O'Gaea has written quite a few novels, ranging from contemporary to fantasy, including a set of stories for children and a chapter book for middle-schoolers. Her non-fiction work ranges from a variety of books about Wicca to one about West Highland White Terriers! And of course I've always got more stories and books in the pipeline. Ashleen is an ordained Wiccan priestess and a member of the Gecko Gals Ink (GeckoGalsInk.blogspot.com) which is a group of five Tucson authors who write in a wide range of genres, meet the public at book events all over town, offer seminars for authors at all levels of expertise and aspiration, and sponsor the All-Zona Book Fest every autumn. She's also on the board of the Mother Earth Ministries-ATC, a Tucson-based Neo-Pagan prison ministry (www.MotherEarthMinistries.org) and the co-founder of the Tucson Area Wiccan-Pagan Network (www.TAWN.org).

Read an Excerpt

CHAPTER 1

Regency Parenting

In this book, we introduce you to a new (well, newly articulated in a Wiccan context) approach to raising children. We offer the concept of parents as their children's regents; and naturally enough, we call this regency parenting. You'll find its principles woven through everything you read in these pages.

In the Middle Ages, high-born children were fostered in other families, both so they wouldn't take too much advantage of their social positions too soon, and so they could learn the various skills they'd need when they grew up. It was the foster family's job to provide that for those children.

These days, of course, although our children are all most excellent, we don't foster them as a matter of course. We parents now take it upon ourselves to teach our children what they need to know about the worlds. And to what end? So that they will grow up to be responsible and creative, and follow their bliss as adults. To achieve this, though, we have to deliberately give up the power we have over our children when they are born.

We can all remember our own parents' occasional reluctance to let us go when it was time. Witches have fewer excuses than other parents, we think, because we profess respect for the cycle of life. That means (among other things) we have to celebrate our children's coming into their own. With the stereotypical weeping mommy seeing her little one off to kindergarten (or college) still one of our social icons, it can get tricky. Regency parenting reminds us that the whole point is to raise another adult.

Conventional parenting focuses on the son's or daughter's obligations to the family, and on the parents' power over the children. Many of us can recall families more concerned with what the neighbors might think than with family members' feelings. Virtually everyone's heard their feelings challenged or denied: "You don't really mean that." Many of us have parents who refuse to recognize that we've grown up and still treat us like small children; plenty of us end up feeling like little children the moment we have to spend any time with our older relatives.

Regency parenting focuses on the son's or daughter's task of growing up, of self- actualizing, as modern psychologists might put it: in the 1960s we called it "finding ourselves." It's still important, and it's part of our job as parents to make sure our children have plenty of experience with their own power. We only hold "our" power over them in trust. When they're babies, they can't do for themselves, so we must. As they get older, they can do more and more — including make mistakes and learn from them — and we must "let" them, just as we let them plop down on their diaper-cushioned bottoms countless times while they learn to walk.

The rest of it involves providing opportunity and experience for them. Even when they're out of diapers we retain some capacity to cushion their blows, but we can't do it physically forever. We have to keep safety in mind, of course, but it's easy to get paranoid, and sometimes it is hard to know what's going to do your children more good than harm. Informing your best guesses with information from several sources is the easiest way to avoid unrealistic worry.

How do we give our children experience so wide that they can draw on it for the rest of their lives, remembering it with pleasure and feeling it resonate with what they do later on, on their own? Canyondancer and I, and a good many of our fellow parents and priests or priestesses, begin with the premise that raising children is magical. To us, this means that we need to prepare ourselves for it carefully, just as we prepare carefully to work any other magic. When we talk to people about children in the Craft, we give the following advice:

Know your intent: like any other magic, parenting needs a goal. (Ours was that the Explorer would be capable of living on his own by the time he was 18, whether or not he actually moved out by then. He stayed with us a little longer, which delighted us, because we could hardly wait to get out of our parents' houses.)

Know the appropriate correspondences: read everything you can about child development. Watch all the PBS and cable shows you can about it, too, and demand good scholarship of it all.

You are your child's first Circle, so draw yourself carefully, and be careful what you bring in. Be careful what you let other people bring in, too.

Give the Goddess and God room and time to work. Our bodies mature about 10 years earlier than our brains do. Our brains need more time to grow up because humans rely on learning, and there's lots to learn (and more every generation). Be patient and hang in there.

Your relationship to your children is a magic spell. Take as much care in its phrasing as you would in putting quill and dragon's blood ink to parchment. Be sure that your language is appropriate, not only to the lessons, but to your child's understanding.

Your energy will need raising, and your children's will need grounding. Do these things in celebration and thanksgiving for the blessing of family. By the way, children need to be told straight out that if they ever have a problem with other adults, if there's ever harassment or worse, that they may, can, should, and must come to you immediately, and you will stand by them. Not without checking it out, but even if it disrupts things. Even if they name friends of yours and you don't want to believe it. Even if.

The success of parenting magic depends on our ability to see Them manifest in everything. You can't guarantee that your children will grow up to be Witches, yet anything you teach them of the Craft will steady them on any path (every path) they take.

There may be no more royal courts whereat to foster our children so they can learn high culture, but there are museums, maybe in the arts district, maybe at a nearby university. Beyond that, there are theaters, concerts, and lectures. (The more trouble you must take to share any of these cultural resources with your children, the more value they will understand these experiences to have.)

Marketplaces, so long the meeting place for common folk, are not gone, and there are arts and crafts fairs, and Renaissance Faires — not to mention Pagan gatherings in most parts of the country. The annual Fall Fest of the Tucson Area Wiccan-Pagan Network (TAWN) always includes children's activities and encourages children to be part of the open Mabon rite that ends the day.

No more tales of fantastic beasts in foreign lands? Just check your local PBS listings, or take a trip to your local zoo. There are wild animal parks and local pet shows to visit; check out arboretums, too. Sometimes city or county parks host nature walks or slide shows; and don't be afraid to learn about local flora and fauna and create your own nature walk. Keep camping in mind, too.

If there's a planetarium nearby, the sky's the limit! Planetarium programs can range from the latest we've learned from high-tech space travel to what the ancients saw in the constellations. At most planetariums, the accompanying permanent exhibits are pretty interesting too, and at some, there are hands-on displays for children of all ages.

On short trips around town, tell stories about buildings you've never been inside, wonder what goes on, guess — one day, you might even stop and find out, if they're open to the public. Slow down when you pass beautiful gardens or interesting architecture. Watch the local paper for stories about interesting local folk, and make an effort to meet them. (In the vernacular, we might say that the rule is to blow nothing off.)

On longer trips, be aware that all adventurers deal with the same problems: deciding how to get there, finding food and shelter on the way, passing the time, getting along with your companions, and brushing up on the local customs. Whether we're focused on this weekend's car trip or this incarnation's journey through life, our ways of coping can enhance the adventure as long as we're aware we're on one.

As we guide our children through the long trips their bodies take while growing up, we can not only help them interpret what's happening today, but also give them a heads up about what they can expect tomorrow. Big changes and strong feelings can be scary, but in safe and trustworthy company, it's safe to acknowledge and experience them fully. As we get taller, we can reach the light switches by ourselves; as we get older, we learn to like other foods; as our brains mature, we understand new things and familiar things better.

Passage Rites

Just as important as introducing children to a wide variety of physical and social experiences is giving them some experience with other worlds, including their own inner landscape. Much of what you read in the following pages will be about the process of doing just that. Passage rites can, among other things, encourage — astrally at first — children to do their inner work

If you don't follow a Tradition that has specific passage rites, you'll want to create your own. Most passage rites follow the same Order of Circle that any ritual does, though the details will depend more specifically on the person whose coming of age is being celebrated. Following are a few ideas and examples for you to work with.

A Blessing for Parents and the Soon-to-Arrive

If you can get friends to read this blessing over you and your partner while you're pregnant, it will become a beautiful ceremony even if you don't cast a Circle to do it. If you make it part of a Circle, it will have all the more power in your lives.

By Air and Fire and Water and Earth may you have an easy birth!
By Winds that blow and gently breathe,
may you weave of Baby's childhood a victory wreath.
By flames of love and passions all find the courage to rise when you fall.
By stream and ocean, rain and well,
may you always feel family, wherever you dwell.
By highest mountains and valleys low,
may you never fear to let Baby grow.
Blest by East and South and West and North,
as Mom and Dad go, and Baby comes, forth.
May your resources be wide and deep as you undertake this daring thing:
may the Spirit relax you so you can just enjoy parenting!

Wiccaning

When we bring our children into the protection and care of our Wiccan family, whether that's a coven or a loose association of friends (or both), we call it a Wiccaning. This ritual introduces the child to the Quarters, and the God and Goddess, and blessings for the child are given from each of the Quarters and received as well from the Goddess and God, however the group names them. (Lord and Lady are popular titles, for this ritual takes place before a child can meet and have his or her own favorites among Their many aspects.) Here are blessings from Campsight's Book of Shadows. As with the other ritual elements in this book, use them as they are or modify them to work better for you.

Hail, Old Ones of the East! Hail, Guardians of Air!
Bless this child, name of child, with a vision as wide as the Wind's,
and with the courage of curiosity,
that he (she) may ever greet new dawns without fear.
Hail, Old Ones of the South! Hail, Guardians of Fire!
Bless this child, ___, with a heart as fiery as the Sun,
and the courage of passion,
that she (he) may ever dance in the light without fear.
Hail, Old Ones of the West! Hail, Guardians of Water!
Bless this child, ___, with a soul as deep as the Sea,
and with the courage of love,
that he (she) may ever watch a sunset without fear.
Hail, Old Ones of the North! Hail, Guardians of Earth!
Bless this child, ___, with bones as sturdy as the Earth,
and the courage of commitment,
that she (he) may ever explore the Mystery without fear.

Campsight's Wiccaning, if it's done as part of a Sabbat Circle, comes between the Ale and the Cakes. If it's done on its own, Cakes and Ale are optional (unless the child is old enough for solid food, and then Cake is too much fun to pass up). If they're included, they follow the baby's "Wiccaning lap" around the Circle. Here's an outline.

Parents bring the child in from the Northeast to a fully-cast Circle; the Priest welcomes them and asks for the child's name (magical or civil, parents' choice), and the Priestess recognizes the child by that name. The parents are then charged, and pledge, to teach the child "of the Lady and the Lord, of this life and all that came before, and all that is yet to come." The blessings of the Goddess and God are then asked upon the child. Afterward, the baby is taken to each Quarter for its blessing (which usually manifests in a small gift as well as in words). The baby's recognized as "worthy and entitled to our hospitality and protection." The Sign of the Intertwined Hearts is made over the baby, and more blessings are spoken, ending with the Tradition's blessing. Finally, if there are no objections from the baby, s/he's lifted over Mom's or Dad's head and carried around the Circle once or twice.

"Birthdaying"

Beyond Wiccaning, one of Campsight's priestesses, Chandra Nelson, has written birthday rites for her young daughter. The ritual empowers three stones for the child: a smooth crystal, a piece of jet, and a piece of amethyst. The adults who are chosen to bless each stone for the birthday girl speak these lines:

Crystal:

I empower this stone to attract all powers wondrous and good. May it empower her to take this next step in her journey.

Jet:

I empower this stone to absorb all negative forces acting upon this child and those who care for her. May it encompass all negative energies, leaving her path clear for success.

Amethyst:

As this stone represents the child, let it draw positive energies, love, light, and health. As the Wheel turns, may her coming year be blessed with happiness and gifts from the Lord and Lady.

Dedication

We speak a lot about Self-Dedication, but not every Dedication is "self" or meant to be a covenless First Degree. Younger children usually don't have the resources or experience to produce a ritual meaningful in grown-up terms, yet they are sometimes ready to make some commitment to Wiccan principles. The Explorer "took a Dedication" when he was 7. In the backyard with the men of our community, he accepted responsibility appropriate to his age, and he has never yet abrogated it. Acting as regents, we all need to help our children or students recognize their own growth, and doing so ritually can make a big impression. Children who take to the idea of a Dedication at this age often have pretty clear ideas about how the ritual should go, and as much as possible, they should direct it. After all, they're the ones making the commitment!

Manning and Womaning

A young person ready for a "Manning" or a "Womaning," as our community tends to call these ceremonies, may or may not be ready for an Initiation. That is, and should be, up to the teaching priestess(es) or priest(s) and the student (without leaving the parents out of the loop). Although our rituals might suggest it, there is no single moment at which any of us become an adult. Some passage rites — Queening, for instance (introduced by Z Budapest) and the corresponding Kinging — are usually scheduled when everyone's been aware of the candidate's eligibility for some time. Other rites of passage are commonly set for as soon as possible after some biological event or the attainment of a designated age (often 13, 14, or 21).

Generally, such rites of passage parallel an Initiation ceremony, but it's important to remember that a Manning or Womaning is not the same thing as an Initiation. Initiation recognizes, among other things, the mastery of a certain body of lore and skills, and a concomitant acceptance of the responsibility of coven membership and priest\esshood in the Tradition. Womanings and Mannings recognize that a child is ready to move into an adult role in the community, even though the new adult has much to learn about adulthood. Being a grown-up (according to more than just your age) takes a lot of hard work and practice. A Manning or a Womaning affirms that another young person has stepped onto the Path, but it doesn't presume that they going to reach a destination by morning. It also lets the youngster know that there are safe, same-gendered adults to go to with questions and problems — in a sense, all the men or women present at a Wiccan child's coming of age become that child's God/dess-parent.

In this and other respects, "puberty rites" (gosh, doesn't that sound more pediatric than poetic?) are more like Wiccanings than Initiations. Those attending, including the Quarters and the Gods, are unilaterally promising to bless this particular young person, without expecting any commitment in return. The teen at the center of a Manning or Womaning rite may wish to make a commitment, but it's not mandatory. Indeed, we'd recommend keeping the "puberty rites" separate from any other religious ritual going on at about the same time, just so the children can enjoy the "gift" aspect of the bodily changes they're marking.

(Continues…)


Excerpted from "Raising Witches"
by .
Copyright © 2002 Ashleen O'Gaea.
Excerpted by permission of Red Wheel/Weiser, LLC.
All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
Excerpts are provided by Dial-A-Book Inc. solely for the personal use of visitors to this web site.

Table of Contents

Preface,
Introduction,
Regency Parenting,
Passage Rights,
What' a Kid Ready to Learn About Wicca?,
Infancy,
What Babies Need Most,
Ivy's Song,
Early Childhood,
Young Children's Anger,
Mythical Children,
Patience, Please,
Magical Security,
Cakes and Ale and Children,
Making a Robe,
The Wheel of the Year,
How Spells Work,
Later Childhood,
Keeping Secrets,
Animal Associations,
Plant Associations,
Teaching corrspondences Through Word Games,
Questions Religions Address,
Skyclad Children,
Acorns Don't Provide Shade,
Adolescence,
The Mirror in the Meadow,
The Wiccan Rede,
Guilt Trips,
Making Commitments,
Advantages of Guided Meditations,
Young Adulthood,
The War Against Children,
The Retreat,
Your First Book of Shadows,
Religion and Politics,
Self-Dedication,
Sun Day School,
Before You Print the Flyers,
Saying No,
Reinforcing Your Lessons,
Later Childhood: Syllabus for six sessions:,
Sample Lesson Plan: Session Three,
Glossary,
Bibliography and Recommended Readings,
Index,
About the Author,

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