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"Ok, Dick, now listen up," director Windburn barked. "Bunny will be riding on the mechanical bull while you are doing her from behind. You pull out when you're ready, and shoot all over her ass. It's the money shot, man ..."
Dick Shooter, world-renowned porn star stood behind the bull, buck-naked except for his lizard-skin cowboy boots and a white Stetson ten-gallon hat. He was half-erect, not quite ready for the scene.
"Oh man, Dicky," the director said, pushing his glasses up off his nose, noticing he was at half-mast. "Have you had your Viagra?"
"Shit yeah," Shooter said. "I've had a double dose with a shot of J.D.!"
"OK Bunny, I want you to come down and help out Dicky. He needs a little work. Crew, let's take a five-minute break," Windburn said and mopped sweat off of his forehead.
"Sure thing, honey," Bunny Hole said. His bombastic blonde co-star, also buck-naked except for some boots and a cute little pink hat smiled at him. "What's the matter, Dicky, still sweatin' that bitch from Thailand?"
"No man, it's cool," Shooter said. "Jes' need the stuff to kick in. I ain't nineteen no more and I've had more tang than I can count! Maybe I'm becomin' immune to it?"
"Well, let me see if you're immune to this," Bunny said, opening her mouth like she had a thousand times on hundreds of cheap low budget movies. She enveloped the star's nine-inch trophy like a great white attacking a seal on the beach.
"Argh, be gentle babe," Shooter said and held back. "We gotta save somethin' for the shot."
"Jesh wagga meg ew hargh," Bunny gurgled, her tongue all twisted up in that helpful way. "There!" she exclaimed, proud of her accomplishment. Porn star Dick Shooter was ready to shoot.
Windburn stepped back on the set. "All right everyone, take your places! Bulls and Bares scene 23, take 2."
Bunny got back up on the mechanical bull and pressed her saline-filled breasts against the cold metal, her ass up above the saddle in a position like Paul Revere, holding on for dear life, riding at full speed to warn of the approaching Redcoats. Dick stepped up on the platform behind the bull and Bunny's ass, a beautiful target, seemed to light up with his primed genitalia.
"Oh shit," Shooter said. "I don't think it's gonna reach."
"Wait. What? Cut! Cut! Cut!" Windburn said and tossed the script. "What the fuck, Dicky? What's the matter with you? Time is money!"
"Y'all didn't put the platform close enough to the bull for me to git it in Bunny just right. See, as that bull rides up and down real slow, her ass is leavin' the playing field," Shooter said.
"You want me to wiggle back more?" Ms. Hole asked, willing to assist in any way necessary to get this shot over with and this movie in the bag.
"No, no, no," Windburn said. "We've got to get Dick's dick closer. Let's break again. Crew, see if you can get Dick another four inches closer and a little higher. This is one big clusterfuck!"
Shooter looked down at his manhood and gave it a tap with his right index finger. "Damn," he said in amazement. "That's one jumpin' trouser trout!"
Bunny Hole rested atop the motionless bull. "Hey, I'm gonna need more lube up here. I'm afraid I'm drying out."
Windburn had one of the crew apply some KY Jelly.
"Damn, Joe," Bunny blushed and twerked to reward the man. "You do that better than my G-Man."
"G-Man?" crewman Joe asked nervously, realizing he had just moistened the most famous labia on the planet.
"My gynecologist, silly," Bunny giggled.
"Betcha he's one interestin' dude," Shooter snorted.
"Why do you say that, Dicky?" she asked.
"Can only wonder what he's found up in there over the years," Shooter laughed and chased away Bunny's smile.
"Dick Shooter, are you making fun of me?" the porn starlet whispered, sounding a little cross.
"No, baby, just fillin' the time before I start fillin' you," Dick laughed.
"Now you're talkin'," Bunny said and wiggled her ass.
The platform behind the bull was now adjusted and the actors assumed their positions.
"Bulls and Bares scene 23, take 3," WIndburn said.
As the bull slowly oscillated up and down, Shooter inserted his manhood and joined the crescendo like a fisherman trying to stand up in a canoe while on unsteady water. Bunny held on and tried to wiggle in tandem with man and mechanical monster.
"Fuck!" Shooter yelled as he slipped off the platform and onto the floor, landing on his behind.
"Cut!" carped the director. "God damn it Shooter! Are you drunk or something?"
"No, no, man. I was just a little unsteady with all that motion and all," he said. "I'll be awright. Just slow it down a bit."
"Yeah, right," Windburn said. "Slow down the bull! We can speed it back up during editing."
Shooter checked his pistol again, finding it still ready for work. "Ready to go, man," he said.
"Ok, everyone, Bulls and Bares scene 23, take 4!" the director yelled.
Shooter was back on it again, like a cowboy prodding cattle. Bunny's bottom met him as planned, and the two, in tandem with the slower bull, were able to join like two lovers in a Texas steakhouse.
"Oh baby, I love you," she said, beginning to urge him on. "Fuck me, baby ... ride me harder ... make your big old balls knock me off this bull ..."
"Love you too ... love you ..." Shooter said and tried not to think about the pretty little ass that bobbed up and down in front of him. He really liked Ms. Bunny Hole — more than any of the other actresses he had the pleasure to interact with. "This cowboy's lovin' this ride, baby, gonna ride you all aroun' town!"
The camera panned in for the usual close-ups as the two provided the requisite action. Dick sensed things were going well, but he had a little less feeling than usual, though he was still rock hard. Dicky glanced back at Windburn who was mouthing something to him.
"What?" Dicky asked and lost his concentration.
"Shit! Cut! Cut! Cut!" the director yelled, red-faced and waving his arms in his tantrum. "What's your problem, Shooter?"
"What were you tryin' to say to me?" Dick asked.
"Shoot, you idiot! I wanted you to shoot all over her ass, remember?"
"Oh yeah," Shooter said. "I know that. It was just takin' longer than usual."
"Oh Christ Dicky," Windburn said. "Girls don't do it for you anymore?"
"No, no, no, man," Shooter said. "I'm just a little off is all. My pecker is so damn hard it hurts. I'll get it this time."
"Bunny, can you please get down and get him close? We only need a couple more humps and the money shot," the director said. "I just want the money shot!"
"Sure, baby, anything you need," the blonde bombshell said, doing her professional duty. Bunny slid off the bull and walked over to Shooter who had stepped off the platform. She got down on her knees and began pressing her large breasts against his manhood. She reached for the KY Jelly and rubbed a little more on him and between her breasts.
"There, baby, you liking this?" she asked. Shooter was quiet, concentrating, trying to get the feeling back. Bunny then engorged him once again and worked harder than before to get the final result.
"Damn," Windburn said to his crew. "We should be filming this."
"Uh, uh, baby," Shooter said. "Y'all better stop or I'm gonna spread biscuit gravy all over your pretty little chin."
Bunny backed off and returned to her prone position atop el toro. Shooter stepped up on the platform and readied himself to finish the job.
"Bulls and Bares scene 23, take 5," Windburn said and the bull started to move once again. The two lovers docked like Soyuz and Apollo, and Shooter finally felt the tingle. At just the right moment, as Bunny's ass was on the downswing, he pulled back and set his star of cinema atop her lovely buns, the bull coming to a stop, and he shot Elmer's glue up her ass crack and all over her coccyx.
"Oh yeah, baby," he said. "That's so fuckin' good!"
"Cut!" Windburn yelled and walked away from the set. "That's a wrap! Thank you, Bunny and Dicky."
"You comin' back to my place?" Shooter asked Ms. Hole.
"Sure, Dicky," she smiled. "Let's get takeout Chinese to celebrate."
Andrew woke up to the sound of gunfire and explosions. The walls vibrated with the booming sounds of a world seemingly on the edge of extinction. The fog of sleep whirled inside his confused brain and he kicked the covers aside and sat on the edge of his bed and tried to shake the cobwebs away.
He had been in a deep sleep and the sounds of war woke him with a start. His heart pounded the inside of his ribcage like a heavyweight fighter hitting a bag.
He looked at his trembling hands and another loud explosion made him ignore his fatigue and need to pee. He got up and walked in anger at the disrespect. It was five in the morning and he had gone to bed sometime after two. Out of the room and into the hallway he went.
"This is ridiculous!" Andrew said, his voice drowned out by the noise.
As he got closer to the well-lit living room, the sounds grew even louder and a foul smell stained the air. He stepped into the room where his roommate, Channarong, or Chan for short, concentrated on the television.
"You gotta see this shit," Chan said, his face wet with sweat, his eyes peeled wide.
Andrew watched Chan for a moment shooting one soldier after another, plowing his way through all opponents on the map like a boss. The PlayStation 4 controller gripped firmly in his hand, his body moved with the action on the TV.
"Have you slept at all?" Andrew shouted at Chan. He noticed his eyes were glassy and bloodshot, his skin pasty. "And what the hell is that stink?"
Chan didn't respond, his focus solely on the television. He scratched his shoulder, twitchy-like.
"Do you think maybe you're jet-lagged or something?"
They had returned home from their trip to Pattaya, Thailand only a few days ago where, in a drunken stupor, they decided to pay a hooker five hundred baht each to ball her in a side alley. It had been the perfect last night of a vacation they wouldn't soon forget. Now back in their rental home, it was obvious Chan wasn't himself.
"Chan!" Andrew shouted. "What the hell are you doing man? Are you hearing me?"
Chan scratched at his shoulder again. "Huh? Hold on a second, can't you see I'm owning these clowns?"
"I don't give a shit about that! I was sleeping and you woke me up. It looks like you still haven't slept. It's been like two days. What the hell is wrong with you man?"
Chan shrugged. "I'm not tired and I just want to play. Don't be crowding my style."
Andrew grabbed the remote off of the coffee table and he shut the television off.
"What the fuck are you doing?" Chan said and jumped to his feet. He breathed heavily like a rabid animal would.
"You don't have to have the volume up to ten!" Andrew shouted. "The damn walls are shaking and I'm sure the neighbors can hear it! And you're in need to shower!" He pinched his nostrils. "Holy crap bro, you stink. Seriously. I know you're an asshole, but try and have some respect for the people around you. I'm trying to sleep."
"Your mother," Chan said and shoved Andrew. "Give me the remote! Now! I'm not kidding!"
Andrew turned away. Chan's breath was terrible. "You're really gonna try and fight with me over Call of Duty?" Andrew said and tossed the remote onto the sofa. "Asshole. Brush your damn teeth. Clean yourself up!"
"Wise move Andrew," Chan said, his anger covered his face like a mask.
"Dude, why don't you put the controller down and try and get some sleep? Maybe, I don't know, take a shower?"
"I'm good mom, thanks," Chan said and plopped himself onto the couch. He turned the television back on and started to play again. "You can join me or go away." He lifted his butt cheek off the couch and farted loud and long.
"No, you're really not good," Andrew said and waved the air. The television came on, the volume blasting again. "I told you that you should've put a condom on. You probably caught something from that hoe and it's affecting your brain. Haven't you noticed the way you've been different since we got back? You're so angry and you haven't been sleeping. Something's not right!" "It's nunya."
"What I do is nunya your damn business." Chan shooed Andrew with a flick of his hand.
"You're not sleeping, bathing, and you have half the house stinking like crap and puke."
"I think I ate something bad. No big deal."
"More like something died inside you. That's the only thing that could explain that smell. Where did you puke?"
"In the toilet, mom. Don't you have some conspiracy theory to listen to or something instead of being up my ass?"
"Alex Jones isn't a conspiracy theorist. He's the tip of the spear!"
"Sure he's not and is. You see his angry screaming face? Talking about someone not healthy ..."
"I'm going to take a leak and listen to the news for awhile now that you woke me. I'm asking nicely. Do you mind lowering the TV a little?"
"Yeah, dickfor, sure I do and Jones speaks loud enough for you to hear over a nuclear explosion. Screaming about gay frogs. That's funny. Why don't you go into the kitchen and make yourself a tinfoil hat or something."
"No, it's not funny because it's true. It's the atrazine. And what did you call me?"
"Go ahead, I'll bite. What's a dickfor?"
"For your mother."
Andrew laughed and shook his head as he walked away. "I'm going to put my tinfoil hat on now. Seriously, take a break and clean yourself up."
"Go screw yourself. I'm doing some drops damage here."
What a Chubby
"I've never seen it hard for that long, Dicky," Ms. Hole said. She used chopsticks to fetch a noodle out of her lo mein dinner bowl and sucked it down. "Having to keep your pants off since we got here and not being able to answer the door for the delivery guy is making me wonder if you took too much."
"I don't know what's goin' on and I didn't take too much Viagra, Bunny," Shooter said with a look of pain on his face. He adjusted his cowboy hat and took down his drawers. "Damn baby, look at this." He grabbed his stiffy and shifted it down. "This thing is as hard as a rock and it ain't lettin' up." He let it go and it slapped his belly just above the button.
"Damn Dicky, that thing is looking even bigger and the head is so damn red it looks like it's gonna explode."
"It hurts like hell. Feel it. I'm tellin' you I can punch holes in walls with this thing if I wanted to." He watched Bunny grab his member. He usually found himself deeply impressed by the size of his manhood that made her hand look tiny, but this time he was more concerned by its strange behavior. Yeah, they usually had a mind of their own but this was ridiculous.
"You want me to suck it or something, help relieve the pressure?"
"Nah, eat your dinner and let's see if it goes away in an hour or so. If not maybe I should go to the doctor."
Bunny backed away and took her dinner into her lap. "The only doctor you need is right here." Bunny opened her legs and didn't have on undies. He could see her pretty pink slit and that didn't help him any. "I want to let you know that it kind of disappoints me to let something like that go to waste."
"I gave it to you good before. Ain't you sore at all from that poundin'?"
"I'm not sore but that load you shot on me was really hot — and I mean steaming! Damn thing felt like it was burning my skin at first. I don't know if it was because that damn bull was so cold and I had a chill in me."
"It was a powerful load. Like it came from my toes or somethin'."
"I love your hot loads, Dicky," Bunny said and left her legs open. She slurped another noodle.
"This boner is painful. I once had me a bad case of hemorrhoids. My ass was bleedin' and anytime I had to take a dump it was like fire shootin' out of old Shooter here. That was the most pain I ever felt in my life. Until now."
Bunny winked at Shooter. "Maybe what you need is to call over that ten-inch friend of yours and let's have a three-way. What's his name again? John Horn, or something like that?"
"No man, this is serious and I'm in serious pain. Understand that Shooter is off the clock with some serious plumbin' issues."
"One in the pink the other in the stink if you want," Bunny winked again. "That'll help get rid of that flagpole you're waving around. Maybe you guys can do a little ATM?"
"You know I love porkin' you baby, and I'm all about ass to mouth, but I'm for real here. This shit —" his dong slapped his belly again after he pulled it down and let it go —"I think there's somethin' wrong. My balls don't hurt but my log is like a petrified piece of lumber. I ain't feelin' right in my head. I noticed it after the scene."
Bunny looked at Shooter's member.
She looked at him with a devious smile.
Excerpted from "Rated Z: Book One: Money Shot"
Copyright © 2018 Lawrence Knorr and Keith Rommel.
Excerpted by permission of Sunbury Press Inc..
All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
Excerpts are provided by Dial-A-Book Inc. solely for the personal use of visitors to this web site.
Most Helpful Customer Reviews
Give this book a try. It's a little different from most zombpoc books but is well worth the read.
Title: Rated Z: Money Shot Author: Brahm Stroker Genre: Adult, Apocalyptic Format: Ebook - NetGalley Pages: 222 Rating: 4 Heat: 5 Thoughts: Well, that wasn’t quite what I was expecting but I’m looking forward to reading the next book. It’s actually pretty funny with an interesting plot. The main characters are porn stars so you can just imagine what this R rated book will hold. If you aren’t easily offended then definitely check this out. I also suggest you read the “author bio” on Amazon, it’s quite creative. Please note that I received a complimentary copy of this work and chose to write a review.