Product Details
| BN ID: | 2940044645158 |
|---|---|
| Publisher: | Clarissa Wild |
| Publication date: | 07/07/2013 |
| Series: | Enflamed , #1 |
| Sold by: | Smashwords |
| Format: | NOOK Book |
| Sales rank: | 59,751 |
| File size: | 685 KB |
| Age Range: | 18 Years |
About the Author
Customer Reviews
Most Helpful Customer Reviews
Raveled By You (Erotic Romance) - #1 Enflamed Series
2.9 out of 5
based on
0 ratings.
7 reviews.
 |
Not great. Read better. Poor editing.
|
|
¿¿¿¿Raveled By You by Clarissa Wild (Enflamed Series #1)
I was given this R2R in exchange for an honest review.
This is an erotica short, coming in around 35 pages.
Chloe Young is a 23 year old at the crossroads of life. Her relationship that has about fizzed out. She is not even sure if Ethan still loves her. He stopped showing her affection months ago.
She hates her job. It is getting her nowhere in life, other than barely paying the bill. So one day at her favorite coffee shop, she decides to browser the job ads in the paper.
While focusing on the ads, she literally runs in to a mysterious man, covering him in her coffee. But unlike Ethan, he is kind and understanding. He even asks her to dinner.
Now she's in a dilemma. She says no and goes home to Ethan. She is faithful to him, even if he is distant, and showing signs of abuse. But she can't get this man, Kaito our of her head. He's toying with her, seducing her, and he's not even around.
Now the struggle begins. Does she follow her mind, which tells her she has a boyfriend and stick with him? Or does she follow her body and heart? She longs for human touch and her heart needs to feel wanted.
I really like this one. It has some saucy erotica scenes. But it also has a nice little back story, that I want to learn more about. We really don't know anything about the characters at this point. I really want to know what Kaito does for a living.
Thanks to the author for sharing this "it felt so wrong, but it felt so good" struggle with me.
|
|
Loved the cover, generally love erotica, it's a free read, several rave reviews, and only 35 or so pages. What could go wrong?
Although it wasn't full of typos, IMO this story was not ready for publication. It's full of confusing sentences, or just bad writing, like this:
"You're my best friend and you landed me this job, so I owe you one, big time." That kind of sentence is called an "As you know, Bob:" "As you know, Bob, you've been my father since before I was born." A writer uses AYKB's to stuff backstory into dialogue, but people generally don't speak like that. This short story is full of AYKB's.
Ethan, the live-in boyfriend, is cartoonishly awful, and either has struck Chloe in the past or is on the verge, stopping just this line of hitting her by breaking a vase. (Which is still domestic violence.) Kaito, the guy Chloe can't get out of her head, is engaging in some crazy stalker behaviors. She doesn't need to get laid; she needs an intervention and a good shrink.
Could there be a more clumsy and convoluted way to say she was late? "The arrow on the clock already passed the five for a few minutes..."
This is the sentence that made me stop reading: "Ethan was my hubby, though we weren't married or anything, but for a long time he couldn't love me anymore..." I THINK this is trying to say that Chloe was feeling sex-deprived, and that she felt a sense of loyalty to her boyfriend, but it hurt my head trying to figure it out.
Everyone has to start somewhere, and it's great that the writer wants to write and share her work, but this short story is simply not ready for prime time yet. I hope she (or he, if CW is a pseudonym for a male writer) keeps writing and finds a good crit group. If there aren't any in the local area, there are some online.
|
|
Very steamy.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|