Real Love

Real Love

by Greg Baer


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Product Details

ISBN-13: 9781592400478
Publisher: Penguin Publishing Group
Publication date: 01/19/2004
Edition description: Reprint
Pages: 320
Sales rank: 129,905
Product dimensions: 5.40(w) x 10.88(h) x 0.76(d)
Age Range: 18 - 14 Years

About the Author

For twenty years, Greg Baer, M.D. was a highly successful surgeon, teacher, civic leader, and entrepreneur. But despite all his accomplishments, wealth, and respect, he felt empty and unhappy. He became a drug addict and nearly committed suicide. In his subsequent search for genuine happiness, he learned some principles that have changed the lives of hundreds of thousands. After Dr. Baer retired from one of the busiest solo eye surgery practices in the United States, he began a new career of writing, teaching, and speaking. He has so far written 17 books about relationships, marriage, and parenting, which have been translated into multiple languages, and published worldwide; produced the three-CD audio series, The Truth About Love and Lies; produced the six-DVD set (with Workbook) The Essentials of Real Love; produced the PBS television special, Real Answers, viewed nationwide; appeared on over 1500 radio and television programs from coast to coast in the United States; counseled personally with thousands of individuals and couples, profoundly changing their lives with the principles and power of Real Love; written thousands of blogs; conducted over 300 seminars and corporate trainings and delivered speeches to audiences around the world where he has taught the principles of Real Love; and developed a comprehensive website that offers Real Love education through video coaching, thousands of blogs, weekly video chats, support forums, and much more. An extensive Master Index is conveniently available to help you navigate through these resources. Dr. Baer and his wife, Donna, are the parents of seven children and live in Rome, Georgia.

Table of Contents

1The Missing Ingredient: What Relationships Really Need1
The Missing Ingredient
Real Love and Genuine Happiness
The Destructive Legacy of Conditional Love
Drowning for Lack of Love
2Getting and Protecting: The Many Faces of Imitation Love18
The Many Faces of Imitation Love
The Cost of Imitation Love
Getting and Protecting Behaviors
Getting and Protecting (Why Do We Do That?)
I Love You Because...
Making Choices
Changing Our Choices
3Being Seen and Getting Loved: The Tale of the Wart King and the Wise Man41
The Tale of the Wart King and the Wise Man
How to Recognize and Find Real Love: Truth to Senn to Accepted to Loved
The Truth About Relationships and Individual Choices
The Difference Between Asking and Expecting
4Taking the Leap of Faith: Everyday Wise Men and How to Find Them63
Remember the Wart King
Being Patient: Don't Expect Brass Bands
Having a Desire to Change
Exercising Faith
Telling the Truth About Yourself
Giving Up the Getting and Protecting Behaviors
5The Effect of Real Love: Like Money in the Bank117
Real Love Is Like Money in the Bank
The Effect of Real Love on the Past and the Present
Real Love: The Answer to All Our Relationship "Problems"
The Need for Consistent Real Love
Magnifying the Effect of Real Love with Gratitude
6Sharing Your Fortune: The Power of Loving Others136
Loved: We Can't Give What We Don't Have
Seeing: The Elimination of Our Own Blindness
Accepting: The Natural, Peaceful Result of Seeing
Loving: Caring About the Happiness of Other People
7Playing a Beautiful Duet: The Joys of Mutually Loving Relationships170
Telling the Truth About Ourselves
Telling the Truth About Our Partner
Telling the Truth All the Time
Making Requests
Working Things Out
Faith in Mutual Love
Becoming One
8Real Love in All Our Relationships: Spouses, Children, Friends, and Co-workers188
The Truth About Marriage
Exclusive Relationships
Sex in Relationships
The Truth About Parenting
Family, Friends, Co-workers, and Everyone Else
Our Relationship with God
9Dealing With Obstacles on the Path to Real Love: Disappointment, Anger, and Getting and Protecting Behaviors227
Eliminating Conflict
Dealing with Getting and Protecting Behaviors
Ending a Relationship (Including Divorce)

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Real Love: The Truth about Finding Unconditional Love and Fulfilling Relationships 4.4 out of 5 based on 0 ratings. 27 reviews.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
As my husband would say, it was like I couldn't see and then someone gave me a pair of glasses. I've spent my entire life in the self help section. I could throw them all away because what I really needed was Real Love!! I have more peace in all of my relationships than I ever thought possible.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
This book's message changed how I live my life! Recognizing that I have choices, and which choices will help me live a happier life, has been enormous. Also, there is a lot of free support available, e.g. conference calls (listed on the Real Love website).
drvickiwebb More than 1 year ago
This book explains why people are so defensive. Essentially most people are walking around empty and feeling unloved. When they don't feel loved, they take offense at the slightest remark. They also are self-centered and focused on getting their needs met. They can't focus on their partner's needs and wishes. Baer explains how we need other people outside of our relationship (friends, family, church, etc) to help us feel loved. Then we can think about our partners needs bc we're not empty. Basically, expecting our partner to fulfill our needs and make us happy never works. We each need to learn self-love by being loved by others, then we can love our partner. Very well-written. If you are having marital problems, definitely get this book.
Teachluv More than 1 year ago
I read this book after I was already separated from my now ex-husband. It came too late to save a marriage but absolutely taught me how to get a divorce with grace and love. The principles are easy to understand and not always so easy to live because they require a shift in consciousness. I rather equated it to being hit in the head with a bat. If you want a book that can change your life, this is the one.
RDettlaff More than 1 year ago
Reading the Real Love series has been changing my life and my family since we began reading the Real Love books 4 months ago. It is just amazing to see the personal progress my spouse, my son and I have been making. Real love has been like a subtle current moving through our family creating more loving and harmonious relationships between us. Real Love has been clearing up problems and behaviors we've struggled with for years when nothing else has worked. I just couldn't be more grateful for this book, Greg Baer (the author) and the other Real Love books in his series. I truly believe that if you read, learn and practice Real Love your life and the lives of those around you will inevitably change.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
I got a lot from the book.
Terylynn More than 1 year ago
You don't really know what real unconditional love is ! You know idea how we all need it & what it's like with out it! I have bought this book 4 times & giving it away, there is such a need! And if your are spiritual- this is the love God speaks of, it's the love we need for our fellow man that will turn around the discordant world!
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Looks at faolon
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Although I had to for a book club and I deeply resented it. What a terrible understand of how to write an effective self improvement book.
mbrazon More than 1 year ago
Absolutely beautiful book... everyone should read this book... and not only once..!
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Guest More than 1 year ago
I heard about this book from a friend a year ago...It has changed my life and the way I see myself and other people. 'Real Love' with out it nothing else matters!
Guest More than 1 year ago
This is a really good book! I read the first page and couldnt put it down. this was the best book for me to read.
Guest More than 1 year ago
The book is well written, easy to read & understand. I've heard Greg in person at a training class and his book closely follows what he talks about. His 'concepts' make sense and can be employed in daily life. Hopefully B&N will get his other books that accompany this first book.
Guest More than 1 year ago
I went to one of Greg's seminars and enjoyed it thoroughly. He is as great in his books as he is in person.
Guest More than 1 year ago
I will forever feel indebted to the opportunity I've had to read this book. I have experienced a total change of the quality of my life as a result of applying the concepts I learned in it to my daily situations. I believe that anyone who reads this book and has the faith to follow its counsel can overcome any fears or hopelessness s/he is experiencing and change their lives for the better.
Guest More than 1 year ago
Dr. Baer has written the definitive book on relationships and the pathway to finding real love. I highly recommend his new book to individuals or couples seeking the true meaning of life.
Guest More than 1 year ago
Exquisitely simple and beautiful !! That's the best way I can describe this book. I feel like the author was "in my head" and writing the book just for me. Never could I have imagined that the difficult topics of "love and relationships" could be explained so clearly, lucidly and concisely. I have often had conversations with friends, family members and people in the "helping fields" about what exactly "love" is and how can I successfully apply it in the relationships that count the most. I found my answers here. Dr. Baer not only defines what "real love" is, but just as importantly, he defines what it isn't. He refers to these "counterfeits" as "imitation love" and I find great relief in knowing that I don't have to chase after these forms of "fool's gold" anymore. He then lays the blueprint as to precisely how we go about finding the genuine acceptance and love we all crave. I know that this book will give people the answers they need and will serve to heal a lot of heartache. This book is a treasure.
Guest More than 1 year ago
My husband and I have read both of Dr. Baer's books "Real Love" and "The Wise Man". Both have enabled us to make life changing decisions regarding our marriage and our relationships with family and friends. We now "see" the world through different eyes. Where there was once constant fear and anger there is now Real Love and concern for each others happiness. It has become our life's handbook.