Real Mermaids Don't Wear Toe Rings

Real Mermaids Don't Wear Toe Rings

by Helene Boudreau


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Freak of nature takes on a whole new meaning...

If she hadn't been so clueless, she might have seen it coming. But really, who expects to get into a relaxing bathtub after a stressful day of shopping for tankinis and come out with scales and a tail?

Most. Embarrassing. Moment. Ever.

Jade soon discovers she inherited her mermaid tendencies from her mom. But if Mom was a mermaid, how did she drown?

Jade is determined to find out. So how does a plus-size, aqua-phobic mer-girl go about doing that exactly? And how will Jade ever be able to explain her secret to her best friend, Cori, and to her crush, Luke?

This summer is about to get a lot more interesting...

"Absolutely fresh and sweet, a quirky coming of age story."
-The YA-5

Product Details

ISBN-13: 9781402244124
Publisher: Sourcebooks
Publication date: 12/01/2010
Pages: 224
Sales rank: 222,139
Product dimensions: 5.20(w) x 7.40(h) x 0.70(d)
Lexile: 670L (what's this?)
Age Range: 10 - 13 Years

About the Author

Hélène Boudreau writes fiction and non-fiction for children and young adults from her home in Ontario. Her debut middle grade novel, Acadian Star, was released last fall and was recently nominated for the 2009/2010 Hackmatack Children's Choice Book Award.

Read an Excerpt

Chapter One

I bolted upright in the bathtub and hacked a mouthful of water. A wave sloshed onto the tile floor.

"Jade?" Dad's knock sounded from the other side of the bathroom door. "You okay, honey?"

"Yea...yeah," I managed to say between coughs, embar­rassed that I'd fallen asleep in the tub, freaked out that I must have slipped underwater. I took a long, shaky breath. "I'm fine, Dad. Thanks."

A shiver ran along my damp arm as I pulled a strand of hair from my mouth. What would have happened if I hadn't woken up? My thoughts turned instantly to Mom.

No. I couldn't go there...

"Can I get you anything?" Dad asked.

I rubbed my eyes and instantly regretted it. Epsom salt. Tear ducts. Ye-owch. Real smooth, Jade. But at least the cramps were gone.

"No, I'm good." I blinked through the haze to the coun­ter where Dad's drugstore bag spilled over with Super Maxi 32-packs and extra-long panty liners. Hadn't I tortured the poor guy enough for one day?

"Call if you need me." Dad's footsteps moved away from the door and continued down the hall.

"I will."

But I wouldn't. I shouldn't.

Yes, getting my first period was a big deal, but I was al­most fourteen, for crying out loud. I didn't need to run to daddy every time I had a puberty crisis. It had been a year since Mom drowned; it was time for me to start figuring things out on my own. Dad had enough to deal with.

Dim light from the streetlamp shone through the peb­bled glass of the bathroom window. My eyes burned, plus my legs had gone numb and felt like they'd been set in a block of cement. It was late. I should get dried off, head to bed, and finally put an end to this cruddy day.

I braced my hands on the side of the tub and shook my legs to get the blood flowing, but the sight that broke through the foamy surface of the water made me forget the pep talk I'd just given myself about not bothering...


The world tipped on its axis as I worked to make sense of what I was seeing. I blinked, trying to focus. What the heck had happened while I'd been asleep? Was I having some kind of allergic reaction to Epsom salt? Had someone slipped hallucinogenic drugs into that Slurpee at the mall?

Those and other crazy thoughts shuffled through my brain as I struggled to understand why, instead of legs, the lower half of my body was now encased in a shimmering tail of iridescent scales.

"Ohmigod! Dad!!" I shrank back against the tub, dis­gusted by what I saw, but the tail moved with me. A sharp breath threw me into another fit of coughing. I shook my head.

Dad's footsteps clattered along the wooden floor in the hall.

"What is it?" His voice rang through the door.

"Call 911!" The words escaped between coughs.

The knob rattled. "Unlock the door, Jade! Let me in!"

I tried to haul myself over the side of the tub to stretch my hand toward the door, but my lower half flickered use­lessly in the water.
"I can't..."

Dad jiggled something in the lock, no doubt one of his trillion Swiss Army knife attachments, but it proved use­less judging by the curse words he muttered. Finally, he rammed his weight against the door. A rush of air filled the room as the door flew open and slammed against the wall.

I pulled a towel to my chest from the towel bar above the tub as Dad stumbled into the bathroom.

"Look!" I lifted the tail from the water and struggled to catch my breath.

Dad's whole body jerked as he took in the blue-green scales shining from the tail. He collapsed onto the toilet seat and leaned heavily against the vanity.

"Do something!" I wailed.

Dad sat, frozen in place. He stared, mouth open, at my half-girl, half-fish body. After what seemed like forever, he spoke.

"Oh, Jade...I'm so sorry..." He ran a hand through his hair. "Your mom and I were always afraid something like this might happen to you."

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Real Mermaids Don't Wear Toe Rings 4.5 out of 5 based on 0 ratings. 194 reviews.
pagese More than 1 year ago
I really liked the idea of this one. But, once again worried that book might come across as to young. I was both right and wrong, which always manages to surprise me. It's another one of those books I will put away for when my girls get a little older. I liked Jade. She a young teen who's going through a lot. She's dealing with those awful young teen years without her mom. First crushes, first friend conflicts, first periods, and all of a sudden comes that mermaid's tale. Some of the aspects of the story that are very much a part of everyday real life are what made the story a little juvenile for me. Although I have to admit the first time she gets her period makes me both laugh out loud and cringe with the memory of my first time. It's all really perfect for the age group this is intended for. I did like her relationship with her dad, her best friends, and her crush. It was cute and seemed very real. I really liked the mermaid elements of this story. How her mother came to land and developed legs was an interesting story. Plus the thought of a mermaid drowning was interesting. Add it what really happened to her mom and I was hooked. It was fun and I really loved the courage and ingenuity that Jade showed to help her mom. I'm hoping this is going to be a series, because the problem wasn't really resolved. I can't wait to see what happens next.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
I thought this book about this young girl was great. It was filled with twist and turns and action and adventire. I moslty reccomend this book for girls who are about 8 to 14. I i truly thouht it was great when i read it to my daaughter.
Ashlyn Rogers More than 1 year ago
This book is a yes to me, i liked it very much. I stayed up to finish the book last night. And i love fantasy, so this book clicked well, i reccomend it highly to whoever likes fantasy.
Abby Haug More than 1 year ago
I read the sample, and couldn't put it down. I highly recromend you to buy the book if you enjoy reading mermaid stories.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
This was a great book! Perfect mix of fantasy, suspense, and a little romance. So, READ READ READ!!!
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
This book was one of those books that you can't wait to know what happens next. It was very good
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Great book. Definitely consider reading. Even if you dont like mermaids and mythical sea creatures you will still love this book. It is great and so is the author.
Holly Kerr More than 1 year ago
If u like this, watch h20
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Best book ever!!! Jades an awsome woul have been cool to have a mermaid fir a mother!!!!!!
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
This book rocked my socks. I luv luv luv Mermaids i would kill to be one but this book was the mext best thing.See Jade is a mermaid who goes through real life GIRL things. I recomened this book for GIRLS ages 10-16
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
This book is about a ordinary girl named Jade who has always thought her mom drounded in a lake untill now when she finds out the truth.She learns that she is living a double life she is part human part mermaid.She finds out that her mom is still alive not on land but underwater her mom is a MERMAID!!!She not only has to save her mom but she has her own problems she keeps ditching her best freind to help her mom.Plus the guy she sort of likes is having a boat cruise and she really wants to go but ends up helping her mom instead of going.At her best freinds pool party she gets her first kiss from the guy she likes.All this in one amazing book and I didn't even tell you everything !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
jb70 More than 1 year ago
I enjoyed the lightness of this book and the fun way mermaids were introduced. Being in middle school is a tough time for a lot of early teenagers and tweens, your body is changing, people start dating, friendships change and hormones are playing all sorts of havoc. Jade is self conscious of her larger than average body, still having a hard time dealing with her mothers death by drowning a year before, struggling with a new friend who is coming between her and her best friend and surprised by the reappearance of a boy she thinks started a mean nickname about her. The last thing she needs is another complication, but she gets it when she gets into the tub, falls asleep, and wakes up with a tail! After finding out her mother was a mermaid new questions arise, such as how her mother could have drowned if she is or was a mermaid. Jade wants to tell Cori, her best friend all about it, but her father cautions her about it. How hard would this be for someone else to believe and what might happen to her if scientists were to find out that she could transform into a mermaid.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
This is one of the best books I have ever read! I loved how it was a mystery and nonfiction at the sane time! I would deffinitly recommend this book!
Stephanie Mastroianni More than 1 year ago
I like this book alot because i like mermaids!
Kristin DeBora More than 1 year ago
I love this book and I just started reading it! I would highly recommand this book but it is not for kids.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
I loved this book!!!!!!!!! Amazing, buy it!
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
This book is a classic romantic story that includes merfolk and adventure a must read!!!
Keri Wells More than 1 year ago
I liked it. It was intereating and i cud relate to the main character a little. Not that im half mermaid. :))
TEST NOOKUSER More than 1 year ago
i cant wait to read this! it looks like such a gr8 book! i started reading it, and i couldnt put it down!:-)
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
My 5th grader loved this book! It is always great to find a book kids will enjoy and actually read.
Samantha Alvarez More than 1 year ago
Im 12 in 7th grade and its a really good book. I finished it in 2 days though.. its really great
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
This bokcis amazing my complents to the arthor!!!!!!!!!!!!! If u lik these boks then u should wacth h2o luv this bok so much :() :)
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Best book ever! If you like this series you will definetly like Emily Windsnap, and other fairy tale/mermaid books! GIVE THIS FIVE STARS *****
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Best book ever!!!!!did u know there r going to be 3 mour books in the serises!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
THIS IS AN AWESOME BOOK, seriously I read it in 1 day. It was just THAT GOOD!!!!!!