Recovering from Emotionally Immature Parents: Practical Tools to Establish Boundaries and Reclaim Your Emotional Autonomy

by Lindsay C. Gibson PsyD

Overview

In this important sequel to Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents, author Lindsay Gibson offers powerful tools to help you step back and protect yourself at the first sign of an emotional takeover, make sure your emotions and needs are respected, and break free from the coercive control of emotionally immature parents.

Growing up with emotionally immature (EI) parents can leave you feeling lonely and neglected. You may have trouble setting limits and expressing your feelings. And you may even be more susceptible to other emotionally immature people as you establish adult relationships. In addition, as your parents become older, they may still treat your emotions with mockery and contempt, be dismissive and discounting of your reality, and try to control and diminish your sense of emotional autonomy and freedom of thought. In short, EIs can be self-absorbed, inconsistent, and contradictory. So, how can you recover from their toxic behavior?

Drawing on the success of her popular self-help book, Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents, author Lindsay Gibson offers yet another essential resource. With this follow-up guide, you’ll learn practical skills to help you recognize the signs of an EI, protect yourself against an emotional takeover, reconnect with your own emotions and needs, and gain emotional autonomy in all your relationships. This is a how-to book, with doable exercises and active tips and suggestions for what to say and do to increase emotional autonomy and self-awareness.

If you’re ready to stop putting your own needs last, clear the clutter of self-doubt, and move beyond the fear of judgment and punishment that’s been instilled in you by emotionally immature parents, this book will help you find the freedom to finally live your life your way.

Product Details

ISBN-13:	9781684032525
Publisher:	New Harbinger Publications
Publication date:	05/01/2019
Pages:	224
Sales rank:	34,457
Product dimensions:	5.90(w) x 8.90(h) x 0.70(d)

About the Author

Lindsay C. Gibson, PsyD, is a clinical psychologist in private practice who specializes in individual psychotherapy with adult children of emotionally immature (EI) parents. She is author of Who You Were Meant to Be, and writes a monthly column on well-being for Tidewater Women magazine. In the past, she has served as adjunct assistant professor of graduate psychology at the College of William and Mary, as well as at Old Dominion University. Gibson lives and practices in Virginia Beach, VA.

Table of Contents

Introduction 1

Part I What You've Been Up Against Dealing With Emotional Immaturity

1 Your Emotionally Immature Parent 9

What It's Like to Be Involved with Them and How They Got to Be That Way

2 Understanding Emotionally Immature Parents 25

Their Personality Traits and Emotional Takeovers

3 Longing for a Relationship with Your EI Parent 45

Why You Keep Trying

4 How to Resist Emotional Takeovers 65

Recognize Others' Distortions and Don't Disconnect from Yourself

5 Skills to Manage Interactions and Evade Coercions 83

Actions That Empower You

6 EI Parents Are Hostile Toward Your Inner World 101

How to Defend Your Right to Your Innermost Experiences

Part II Emotional Autonomy Reclaiming The Freedom To Be Yourself

7 Nurturing Your Relationship with Yourself 121

How to Trust Your Inner World

8 The Art of Mental Clearing 139

Making Room for Your Own Mind

9 Updating Your Self-Concept 157

How to Correct Distortions and Enhance Self-Confidence

10 Now You Can Have the Relationship You've Always Wanted 177

Just Focus on One Interaction at a Time

Epilogue: Bill of Rights for Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents 197

Acknowledgments 203

References 205

Interviews

Gibson resides in Virginia Beach, VA.

Editorial Reviews

In her newest book, Lindsay Gibson provides a beautifully written, easy-to-understand guidebook for all those who have had to struggle with being raised by EI parents. Gibson takes the reader through a straightforward, step-by-step approach, defining and explaining what EI parents look like, and how their conscious and unconscious behaviors have powerful and lasting effects on their children.

Using case studies, interactive written exercises, and a comprehensive Bill of Rights, Gibson empowers those who have been raised by EI parents to fully reclaim their authentic selves.”
—Kenneth A. Siegel, PhD, clinical psychologist with over forty years of experience

Kenneth A. Siegel

A rare book that goes beyond self-help and provides true therapy. Gibson’s presence is felt throughout, breaking through the reader’s emotional isolation and providing gentle, concrete guidance through a daunting journey. An intelligent and generous work.”
—Laurie Helgoe, PhD, author of Introvert Power and Fragile Bully

Laurie Helgoe

What a gift! After spending forty years talking with clients about the issues and solutions Lindsay Gibson addresses in this extraordinary book, finally there’s one highly readable resource that provides a complete, in-depth look at what every client needs to know. Clear and concise explanations alongside extremely helpful exercises make this book an absolute must-read for the multitudes that experience the challenge of EI parents. Not just a book for the children of EI parents, but a fantastic one-stop resource for anyone dealing with a core set of problems we all actually struggle with in the majority of our adult relationships.”
—David Gordon, PhD, clinical psychologist in private practice in Norfolk, VA; author of Mindful Dreaming; and founder of the Dreamwork Institute

David Gordon

Lindsay Gibson has again written a valuable book in Recovering from Emotionally Immature Parents, with extensive wisdom, thoughts, and tools for searching one’s inner experiences, self-talk, and feelings from growing up with EI parents. This book is a resource for both individuals on a personal journey and therapists, in the human quest to heal life’s wounds and grow into a more joyful and fulfilled life. Gibson’s compassionate guidance is well researched with individual stories to enhance our understanding. She closes with a Bill of Rights for Adult Children of EI parents that is helpful for anyone in conflicted relationships.”
—Mary Ann Kearley, CNS, LPC, clinical nurse specialist in mental health, and licensed professional counselor in private practice in Chesapeake, VA

Mary Ann Kearley

This book is a gift for those who have grown up with an EI parent. Gibson gets it— and she will help you feel seen and known in a way that you likely never felt with your parent. You’ll be able to put words to your pain, so you can understand it, work through it, and, ultimately, separate from it as you work toward building relationships with yourself and others that will be more emotionally fulfilling. It is clear how much she genuinely cares for her clients and readers, and wants to support them in their journey.”
—Kathy Nguyen Li, PsyD, licensed psychologist, and owner of Sage Counseling, PLLC, in Washington, D.C.

Kathy Nguyen Li

Recovering from Emotionally Immature Parents is a must-read for any adult who has ever struggled with a parental relationship, as well as therapists who expect to skillfully guide clients toward creating their own best lives. Reading Lindsay Gibson’s masterful book is like spending time under the care of a gifted, grounded, and compassionate psychologist. It will broaden every reader’s self-concept and strengthen his or her self-confidence. Beginning to end, it is filled with brilliant translations and applications of therapeutic concepts to the world of real, lived experiences.”
—Gretchen LeFever Watson, PhD, clinical psychologist, professor at Ross University School of Medicine, and author of Your Patient Safety Survival Guide

Gretchen LeFever Watson

This excellent book offers a practical, concise understanding of how emotionally immature (EI) parents impact your feelings, thoughts, and behavior. With specific examples and exercises, you can learn how to express yourself and reduce fear and self-doubt to reclaim your right to your own emotional health and well-being. The depth of Gibson’s therapeutic skills, sound psychological principles, and practical tools make this a must-read for anyone whose life has been challenged by the emotional immaturity of others. A valuable resource for the general public as well as professionals!”
—Louise B. Lubin, PhD, licensed clinical psychologist, and retired community faculty at Eastern Virginia Medical School

Louise B. Lubin

Most everyone emerges from their childhood with a few emotional scars, anxieties, or insecurities. However, many children sustain serious emotional wounds when they have been raised by insensitive, self-absorbed, and controlling parents. Young children or adolescents in these situations can’t see the big picture, are powerless to fight back, and often blame themselves for their predicament—locking in their emotional wounds for a lifetime.

Fortunately, the brilliance of Gibson’s book sheds the light of understanding and provides the keys to healing for countless recovering individuals. This book is readable, relevant, grounded in solid science, and yet so accessible to the person searching for answers and healing from their wounds. It is a must-read for every student of human behavior and every mental health professional.”
—Dan W. Briddell, PhD, licensed and board-certified clinical psychologist with over forty years of clinical practice experience, and author of The Love Bug and Other Tales of Psychotherapy

Dan W. Briddell

For those who have lived their lives in the shadow of their EI parent’s pain—Gibson teaches, with clarity and comfort, that who you are today is quite different from who and what you were taught to believe. She gives you permission to leave your parent’s issues with them— to free yourself of ownership of their thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. Gibson has offered a gift! Embrace it and look to your new future with peace and the power of the true you!”
—Pamela Brewer, MSW, PhD, LCSW-C, psychotherapist; host of MyNDTALK with Dr. Pamela Brewer, a daily relationship and mental health podcast/broadcast

Pamela Brewer

Recovering from Emotionally Immature Parents is a true gift to readers who have difficulty acknowledging the legitimacy of their needs and feelings because their EI parents unconsciously placed their own needs front and center during the readers’ formative years. Clearly formulated and chock-full of useful case illustrations and written exercises, this book vividly conveys the dynamics that leave children burdened by emotional imperatives not their own. By helping readers experience the compassion their parents couldn’t convey, Gibson guides the reader to a treasure trove: the long-awaited experience of autonomy, authenticity, and vitality!”
—Sarah Y. Krakauer, PsyD, author of Treating Dissociative Identity Disorder

Sarah Y. Krakauer

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