The day a redneck will clean his house is when Sears comes out with a riding vacuum cleaner.
Q. Do you know what a redneck's last words are?
A. Hey, fellas, watch this.
Q. What's the difference between a rich redneck and a poor redneck?
A. Whitewalls on their wheelbarrows.
Q. What did the redneck do when he found out he was being promoted from second grade to third grade?
A. He got so excited, he cut himself shaving.
Q. Who has the right of way when four cars come to a four-way stop at the same time?
A. The pickup truck with the gun rack and the bumper sticker that reads: "Guns don't kill people. I do."
In Alabama, they think high cholesterol is some sort of religious holiday.