WILLIAM J. MATTA is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist in private practice. He has served as an adjunct professor at several colleges over the past two decades. He is included on the list of "America's Best Therapists" published by Psychology Today magazine.
Relationship Sabotage: Unconscious Factors that Destroy Couples, Marriages, and Familyby William J. Matta
Hidden forces--memories of past poor or hurtful relationships--drive repressed feelings and emotions that are often outside our awareness. Though we want to love and be loved, to nurture and be nurtured, those forces can wreak havoc and sabotage relationships, destroying couples and even whole families. The scenario is so common, explains therapist Matta, that often people get divorced "without even fully understanding why," or knowing what is was that came between them.
In many cases, what it was were lingering but unconscious memories of lessons learned as far back as childhood. These lessons may have no true bearing or justification in the current relationship, yet they can strongly affect it, fueling marital games, extra-marital affairs, addictions, poor parenting practices and a host of other harmful actions.
This disturbing, yet fascinating text shows us why some people carry a psychological need to sabotage their intimate relationships. It reveals how, in cases where children are involved during marital sabotage, it is the most sensitive child who bears the symptoms of the unhealthy family, showing behaviors from acting-out to developing mental illness. Perhaps more frightening, these hidden forces and unconscious factors can be passed from generation to generation, creating a trail of failed relationships. Matta argues that we can learn to recognize these "imprints" and move past them to build or keep rewarding relationships. His book makes us aware, and gives us the tools to break the cycle.
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