"This book will not only connect you with your own experience of grief but shines a light for others who are struggling to come to terms with the loss of a person or pet."
-Colin Tipping, author of Radical Forgiveness and Radical Self-Forgiveness
"Philippa Kingsley's book offers a truly heartfelt and deeply personal account of her encounters with grief. You will be touched by her courage and honesty. True compassion lies at the heart of grief."
-Dale Borglum, The Living/Dying Project, co-author of Journey of Awakening
I have been guided in spirit to share my most innermost thoughts and channeled writings of the experience of loss, letting go, and the transitions from the physical body of my darling father and beloved pets.
I am guided to help others who are suffering, or have suffered, whilst walking down the road of grief, with the realization that there is a beginning, a middle, and an end to this process, and with the awareness that you too will rise above grief and learn to live and laugh again.
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Rising Above Grief for People and PetsA True Story of Love, Sharing, and Caring
By Philippa Kingsley
BALBOA PRESSCopyright © 2012 Philippa Kingsley
All right reserved.
Chapter OneVEIL OF ILLUSION
Channeled in my kitchen December 29, 2008
As the Veil of Illusion is swept away like a tidal wave now we can take time to reflect, look at what is reality and what is not. We can live in the Now Enjoy all that is meant for our personal growth, accepting and awakening to the predicament of the earth.
It's about change and transformation of the consciousness of each of us at a cellular level.
It takes time to admit that the way we have been living has been detrimental to our health and our soul's journey. It takes great strength of character and courage to stand up and say, enough. What seemingly worked for years is no longer valid or true.
My analogy is of the snake: The snake sheds its skin, slithers along the ground. You take yourself with you wherever you live in the world, whatever country, town, city, or state, but you are still the essence of you. It's just the old skin that withers away so that you can fully embrace the might and majesty of your inner soul.
Two quotations resonate with me on the subject of illusion:
The only thing permanent in life, is impermanence.
Tradition is an illusion for permanence.
Chapter TwoLOVE IS
Channeled May 21, 2006 For my friend Aleta on the occasion of her engagement
Knowing that you are there for me.
Knowing that I am there for you.
Come rain or shine ... Come what may
we pledge our souls to each other for this time on earth.
Knowing that we were connected before in another time and place.
Knowing that our paths are intertwined and lessons learned.
Knowing that now we grow together, the lessons for the future shared
the power of one becomes stronger when there are two.
Knowing that I am loved.
Knowing that you are loved.
From the depths of the soul.
Just the knowing.
The instinct that our spiritual journey at this time in our lives
brought us just to this place to take us onto the next dimension.
Knowing that in the mental, physical, emotional, and spiritual sphere
All is One and One is All.
Chapter ThreeESSENCE OF SPIRITUALITY
Channeled in my office May and June 2011
Do you realize that the true essence of spirituality comes from within ourselves, not from the outer trappings of life? Any change comes from within and manifests out into the world. We can all experience the essence of pure Divine love running through our whole being. And we can experience the uplifting of the soul as it navigates the challenging and treacherous path of life and suffering, with the realization that there is a way out of this. It's up to us. As human beings we are all given free will. Choices: you can take the left path or the right, with the basic premise that it's you deciding to commit to yourself.
Your commitment to yourself is defined by these questions: Do I deserve? Am I worthy enough? Am I good enough? Do I choose to make the time to do something about it?
Busy being busy seems to be the daily mantra for many people who choose to opt out of the commitment to themselves. We learn that having no time for ourselves, no time for anyone, or anything else, puts our minds and our bodies in extreme stress mode, which often manifests into physical illness or the decision to pop a pill as a quick fix.
At this time on the earth's plane, we are being challenged on so many levels. It's happening all around us at such a fast pace. Look around you, to Japan, the Middle East, climate change, and in our midst, the unresolved global financial crisis, affecting us all. Newspapers, radio, TV, the Internet all sell us fear, and we feed into that fear. This is why at this time it's important to stay grounded, put -down roots.
Think of a tree. We notice the parts that are above ground. We see the trunk, we see the branches. They sway gracefully in the wind, with luscious leaves so beautiful to behold in their spring and fall colors, or weakened branches breaking and falling. What we tend to forget is the most important thing of all, the roots. We don't see them above ground, but they are the foundation for the tree's strength and growth. So it is with the human being. The roots have to be nourished and watered or they dry up, wither and die. Wake up as to why you need to put down roots and water yourself. My mantra for you: nourishment, not punishment!
So many people are disconnected from themselves and what is real. Some people have a total disorientation of their body to themselves and what is going on internally. There has to be balance and harmonious alignment between the mental, physical, emotional, spiritual, and karmic bodies for everything to work as one.
For a while, I hadn't realized that my physical body was also depleted from all the spiritual energy I was giving out to other people. I took steps to help my physical body heal with VortexHealing energy and meditations to strengthen and align the force within to become One.
CALLING ALL WOMEN–THE DIVINE FEMININE
For women, it's important to realize that we tend to negate and undermine our strengths. It's time to take back our original sense of our inner feminine truth. Learn to love ourselves, realize our strength and power with inner awareness, and trust that we have everything that we need at a core level. If we impact our minds with negative thoughts then that is what we will attract. We can control the mind and ego. Our ego doesn't want us to change; it's had the same pattern for many lifetimes. Only we can release the fear and pain of this life by changing our core orientation, the causal level of issues that are stored in our cellular system.
As the Buddha taught, we can listen to this learned person, listen to that learned person, but to walk the middle way, walk the middle path. Make our own choices.
Society pre-judges people and our actions. In fact, we need to look back into history, as all the lessons are there for us to learn in this modern world. We tend to think that we know it all, however it's only the style of clothes and culture that changes. Take away the veneer and image of respectability, and you are left with the awareness that human beings and human nature are the same now as in previous generations, down through the centuries. Remember, we come into this world with nothing and we leave with nothing. Money, power, and greed do not define our success. It's what we choose do in the middle timeline of our lives that defines our legacy.
Look into your heart, look into your soul, and choose wisely. The choice is yours.
Chapter FourAN INSPIRATIONAL STORY
Channeled through me in 2007
My father, who was a physician and surgeon in London, had two brain surgeries in 2005. He survived that ordeal.
In 2006, he was diagnosed with colon cancer and had part of his colon removed. In the United Kingdom he was considered too old to have chemotherapy. In October 2006, he had a bowel obstruction and was rushed to hospital as an emergency. He then stopped eating.
I had been backward and forward between Atlanta and London, on an intense emotional roller coaster. I rushed to London, fearing the worst.
Nobody, not the specialist, the nursing staff, my brother, and not even my father himself, thought he would survive. My mother has Alzheimer's disease and just withdrew emotionally, as it was too painful for her to see my usually strong father in this condition.
My father did not want to eat or drink. No offer of food, even his favorites, could entice him, and he had always been a foodie, like me! I had invested in a juicer, which was housed at my parents' home, but he still refused everything. It was so difficult to watch him literally wasting away to skin and bones. I moved into the hospital and slept in his room, and concentrated all my time with him for two weeks. During this time I did VortexHealing on my father.
There has always been a deep karmic emotional bond between us, but we had become disengaged over the years, and with me living abroad, it did not make it any easier, due to the distance factor. On this earth, we think we have a time-frame, but the universe doesn't. Time doesn't mean anything on the higher realms. The impact of the reality of the situation for us both enabled me to become mother and daughter, rolled into one. We talked, we cried, we laughed, and we finally became one with each other on a truthful acceptance of things that were, things that are, and things that will be. We forgave each other and certain situations, realizing the essence of life is so pure and that you have to let go to move on.
We both realized how lucky we were to have been given the gift of cleansing our hearts and our souls so that we could move onto the next dimension.
I had to leave London to return to my life in Atlanta. Both our hearts were breaking when it came time to say goodbye. We both thought we would never see each other again.
The hospital sent my father home. Eventually he started to eat again, but his whole system was extremely sluggish, and he was so thin and weak; just a shadow of his former self, who had always been energetic, charismatic, and a dedicated doctor, beloved by all his patients.
A crisis arose when he hadn't been to the bathroom for one week. He was given all the medical assistance to help his system move. Just before they were going to administer the last drastic ammunition in the arsenal, I phoned from Atlanta, spoke to my sister-in-law and said, "Use the juicer." I had been nagging for weeks about juicing, but it had been falling on deaf ears. In the end, everyone was so desperate they used the juicer with my recipe; lo and behold, it worked immediately!
As for my darling father, he is juicing every day, has put on weight, and is eating normally. His voice sounds strong and he is motivated to fully ingest life. We both know that he was given another chance. How old is he? Eighty-seven years young!
There is no coincidence in life; everything happens for a reason, although we don't always know at the time. When you have a life-threatening illness, you change your views and your priorities in life. My father was able to make his peace with himself, and with his life. We were able to make peace with one another. It takes time to realize that life is a gift and that there are other healing options available. Never give up, keep faith, trust and belief in yourself. Things come to you in life when they are meant to be. Accept with open arms and learn to live each day in the present moment.
Chapter FiveGRIEF AND SURRENDER TO ALL THAT IS:
DEATH WITH DIGNITY
I am guided in spirit to share my channeled writings with you about my darling father, Dr. Sidney Kingsley, and his transition from his physical body. These channelings took place in May and June 2009.
My Sidney, my Father, my Darling, left his physical body on Monday, May 4, 2009 at 1:00 pm (lunchtime).
At my parents' home, lunch was always at 1:00 pm on the dot. This was also the time that my father chose to leave his physical body. I wasn't in the room for this, but was driving like James Bond in a frantic rush to get back to the hospice. It was a Bank Holiday in London and I had rushed to find lunch for myself. A nurse called me and told me to return to the hospice urgently.
I wanted to see the physical moment when the soul leaves the body, but had been warned by the nurses that you can just turn your back for a moment or leave the room, and the soul can leave the body. It can also be very difficult for the person dying to have distractions from family around them at the moment of transition. It was not meant to be for me to see this actual moment. I arrived back at the hospice at 1:07 pm.
I had been mounting a vigil, but the night before my father died, I just couldn't sleep in his room, even though his nurse had set up a folding bed next to his bed. I chose to curl up in a fetal ball, snuggled under a big white hospital duvet in an alcove just outside his room. One nurse who got on with me very well gave me some hospice pajamas, and I joked with her, "Make sure you don't get me muddled up with a patient and give me morphine!"
The Rabbi had been and gone; he had told me that my father was not ready to leave his body that night. The Rabbi said the Shemah prayer over my father and somehow this was all part of the process of leaving the physical body. My father was not a practicing Jew, but sometimes we all need rites of passage to help us on our way.
I had rushed to London from Atlanta, knowing that this was the final curtain in the play that was unfolding before my eyes. My father had fallen at home, was taken to hospital and was told that the colon cancer had spread to his bones and vital organs. He was 89 years old, and as a doctor, he knew the medical prognosis. He stayed in hospital for a few days until my brother and I found a hospice for him.
My father and I had a bond that will never be broken; it transcends time and space. Karmic bonds and a shared lineage from eons ago.
"Je t'aime toujours." The beautiful French words, I will love you always.
"Moi aussi," I replied. Me too.
These were the words that he spoke to me. He held my hand and took it to his lips, a true gesture of deep love, and spoke those beautiful eternal words in French, in the middle of a busy, bustling hospital ward. There we were, the two of us, it was as if we were in a bubble of time, it was as if time had stood still. Where did the French come from? It came from the depths of his soul from a previous lifetime. French is the language of lovers. I couldn't control the flow of tears. Forever, the deep love shared.
At the hospice, when my father had transitioned from his physical body, I had arranged that I wanted to sit with his body. Hours later, he was moved to a special room, which was kept ice cold. This change became very traumatic for me and one of my cousins had unexpectedly arrived to support me with the transition to the room. She had also experienced great loss and understood the implications of grief. The special Orthodox Burial Society was not going to arrive until the next day, as it was a Bank Holiday. Again, I had previously arranged that I wanted to sit with my father all day and night. Again, there is no coincidence.
I now sat all night in the ice cold room, muffled up in blankets. When I sat with the shell of my father, his soul had physically left his body and had transitioned to a higher plane. The tears welled up from deep inside me. I cried, and I spoke to him, even though he was not in his physical body. There is a general belief that the soul stays around for two to three days after death.
I said the same words to him that he had spoken to me.
"Je t'aime toujours, je t'aime toujours, je t'aime toujours."
"Moi aussi, moi aussi, moi aussi."
I understood then and I understand now that the cycle of love can never break.
Pure love transcends all. To have had the chance to experience the transition of the soul, to be with my beloved father, happened as it was meant to happen.
The pain that death unleashes is immense. Even when you think you are prepared for the eventual transition, when the reality hits you are not actually prepared. The conscious mind wants the loved one to find a release from all the physical suffering of the body, and you think you have said goodbye and done all you can. Now the realization occurs that it is just an empty shell there with you in the room. The cold hands is how it starts, the withdrawal from the world. I read about it and thought I understood it, but I realized I didn't. You put your hand on the heart and there is nothing there. The soul has gone; just a shell is left.
The final testament of love was to be at the burial ground. When a Jewish person dies, the Burial Society carry out a ritualistic bathing of the body, and prayers are recited. Even though my father wasn't religious, it had been arranged for him to be buried in an Orthodox cemetery. The Orthodox Jewish ruling is based on a patriarchal form of tradition. In the past, women were not allowed to attend funerals. Thankfully, in the modern world this has changed, and it is up to women to decide in what form to participate.
During the time that my father was in the hospice I had arranged with the Burial Society that I would be able to see my father for one last time before the coffin was nailed down prior to the funeral ceremony. My brother did not want to participate in this, as it was too emotionally upsetting for him. As I say, each person manifests grief in their own personal way.
The morning of the burial came. Early May in London, the weather could still be unreliable, but it was a crisp bright day. I drove myself early to the burial grounds in order to see my darling father's face for one last time. One of my cousins, also a doctor, was there to greet me. I was happy for his physical presence and emotional support.
Excerpted from Rising Above Grief for People and Pets by Philippa Kingsley Copyright © 2012 by Philippa Kingsley. Excerpted by permission of BALBOA PRESS. All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
Excerpts are provided by Dial-A-Book Inc. solely for the personal use of visitors to this web site.
Table of Contents
1. Veil of Illusion....................1
2. Love Is....................2
3. Essence of Spirituality....................4
4. An Inspirational Story....................9
5. Grief and Surrender to All That Is (Death With Dignity)....................12
6. Rising Above Grief (Love, Caring, And Sharing)....................18
7. Losing Your Beloved Pet....................25
8. UNCONDITIONAL LOVE....................31
8. Unconditional Love (Voguie)....................31
9. Unconditional Love (Cosmo)....................35
MY FATHER AND MY PETS....................41
10. Help is at Hand....................43
11. Gifts from Voguie and Cosmo....................46
12. Where is My Mother's Voice?....................51
13. A Child's Grief....................55
14. Drama of Life....................58
MY FAVORITE ANIMAL ORGANIZATIONS....................61
Freedom to be free is freeing....................64