Save Your Drama For Your Mama

Save Your Drama For Your Mama

by Charlie Sheppard


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Save Your Drama For Your Mama by Charlie Sheppard

Noted speaker and educator Charlie Sheppard shows you how management is not the opposite of leadership, but drama is. He provides a practical guide for eliminating drama from your life, your team, and your organization. The moment we feel like we don't have the power to make our own decisions, the ground is fertile for more and more drama. Included in this book is a unique code that you can use on the aChoice website to take the Drama or Leadership multirater survey. The reports generated by the survey are designed to help you learn more about yourself and your leadership potential. You can invite feedback from up to twenty people to discover how they perceive your leadership capabilities and drama tendencies. All the information is completely confidential. The concepts in the book and the survey will help you identify blind spots in your perception and begin to create drama-free zones in your organization and your life.

Product Details

ISBN-13: 9780988172005
Publisher: aChoice Publishing
Publication date: 04/01/2013
Pages: 368
Product dimensions: 5.70(w) x 8.60(h) x 1.10(d)

About the Author

Charlie Sheppard is the founder and CEO of Sheppard Partners, a company on the forefront of unleashing the full potential of people and teams through superior training and consulting methodologies. He is an internationally recognized leader in executive and team development. His courses and trainings have been delivered around the world. He is a highly engaging speaker and is in constant demand for his Leadership is a Choice® keynote. He is also a professor at Hult International Business School and makes his home in the San Francisco Bay Area. He is also the founder and CEO of KnoNow, a pioneering e-learning and social networking platform. This online tool accelerates both learning and measurement of the transfer of knowledge in an organization. KnoNow is pioneering the field of knowledge as a service (KaaS), creating for organizations a competitive advantage.

Table of Contents

Introduction 1

Chapter 1 How Drama Was Born 7

Hidden in the Mind 8

How the Dependent Ensure Their Survival 8

Wired for Drama 10

Educated for Dependence 11

Others Have the Power 13

Drama Rears Its Head 14

Drama Is Epidemic…and Expensive 15

Shift to Independence 18

Rituals Are Missing 20

Go It Alone 21

We Can Change 22

Chapter 2 Your Brain on Drama 23

Celebrity Antics 25

The Brain's Amygdala 26

Amygdala Overdrive 26

Amygdala Triggers 28

Overrule the Amygdala 29

Change the Neural Pathway 29

Understand Drama to Understand Leadership 30

Leadership Is Not A Title 31

You Can Change 32

Chapter 3 Opposing Triangles 33

Compare and Contrast 33

Genuine Change 35

Leadership Is A Choice® 36

Our Roles in Life 36

Archetypical Drama Roles 37

Victim 39

Adversary 39

They Are Us 41

Drama As a Way of Life 42

Archetypical Leadership Roles 44

Leaders Develop 45

The Flip Side 48

You Can Change 49

Chapter 4 Perceptions and Intentions 51

Use Awareness, Not Excuses 52

Perceptions & Filters 53

High-Priced Wine 54

Filtering Our Thoughts 55

Communicating Our Thoughts 57

Intentions; Positive or Negative 58

Beware the Self-fulfilling Prophecy 61

Are My Perceptions In My Own Way? 63

Can You Rewire Your Brain? 65

You Can't Read Minds 66

Shifting Out of Drama 68

Drama-The Low Energy Triangle 69

Fostering Positive Intentions 70

Negate Negativity 71

Ask for Feedback-Then Actually Listen To It 73

You Can Change Now 75

Chapter 5 Who Is Driving The Bus?? 77

Be Intentional 78

Same Market-Different Result 79

Locus of Control 80

You have an External Locus of Control When 83

You have an Internal Locus of Control When 84

Name That Locus! 84

A Generation of Drama 85

Traffic Circles 88

"It's Not My Fault" 90

Try This On In Your Mind 90

When The Team is Dependent 94

Moving To an Internal Locus of Control 95

Six Key Steps 96

You Can Change Now 107

Chapter 6 The Trap of the Drama Triangle 109

Petty Tyrants Who Teach 109

Fear Causes Fear 112

The #1 Fear 114

We Need To Talk 116

Anxiety or Excitement? 117

Pulled In To Drama 118

Flee the Triangle! 119

Help Others Out of Drama 122

Zero Tolerance 123

Can You Eradicate Drama From Your Organization? 124

Awareness Is an Antidote 12S

Section 2 127

Chapter 7 Accountability- Accept It or Avoid It 129

The Hall of Shame 130

Katrina, FEMA and Lots of Blame 130

NASA and the Hubble Space Telescope 141

There's More 143

"Everyone Does It" 146

Behaving with Accountability 147

Accountability Starts With You 147

Authenticity Matters 149

Acknowledge Mistakes 150

The Good of the Team 151

Letting the Team Decide 152

Coach Carter 154

Holding Others Accountable 155

Steps to Holding Others Accountable 156

The Conversations That Hold Others Accountable 159

A Hint of Success 164

Chapter 8 Your Energy is Produced By Your Thoughts 165

Experiment with Energy 166

Let's Be Negative 167

Project Energy 168

Research on Energy 168

Sources of Energy 170

Resignation 172

The Dangers in Resignation 175

Ask Yourself 176

Confusion 176

Anger 178

The Power of Being Positive 180

Focus 180

Engagement 181

Getting Into the Flow 182

You Can Change 186

Chapter 9 Victim or Visionary 187

First: Visualize the Goal 188

Embed in Your Head 189

The Victim in the Drama Triangle 195

How Victims Think 195

How Victims Behave 197

"Benefits" of Being a Victim 199

Don't Be a Victim 199

Bethany: Not a Victim to Her Circumstance 200

Visionaries in Leadership 202

Commit to the Vision 203

Create the Present for the Future 206

Feel It and Speak It 207

Take Progressive Steps 208

Leaders Create Leaders 210

Have Optimism and Passion 212

Benefits of Pursuing Your Vision 219

You Can Change 221

Chapter 10 The Adversary and the Catalyst 223

How the Adversary Thinks 225

Driven by Anger 225

"Benefits" of Being an Adversary 226

How the Adversary Behaves 227

Using Fear 228

My Way is the Right Way 229

Everyone Else is at Fault 230

Top Dog vs. Underdog 230

Adversaries in Action 231

Fearing Fuld 231

AIG Financial Products 234

You Can Get Yourself Out of the Adversary Role 236

Catalysts Make Things Happen 237

Inside the Catalyst 237

Catalysts Can Make a Difference 242

Buckminster Fuller 242

Gandhi 245

Art Levinson 245

Bob Dole and Al Gore 246

Allan Parker 247

Bono 248

Gary Friedman 249

Speed Matters 250

Catalysts Constantly Question 251

Catalysts Take Action 251

Let's Make Mistakes 252

Catalysts Consider Three Perspectives 253

Working in the Group 255

You Can Change 258

Chapter 11 Rescuer or Coach 259

The Rescuer 260

Why Rescuers Rescue 261

Rescuers Within the Triangle 266

Great Coaches, Great Coaching 267

Coaches Can Make a Difference 289

Bill Walsh, Great Coach 269

One Conversation Can Make a Difference 271

Values in Every Conversation 272

Expectation of Greatness 273

Coaching Performance 274

Coaches Coaching Others 275

Coaching Technique: Storytelling 277

The Corporate History Tale 279

Have Ten Core Stories 281

Turn Complaints into Commitments for Change 281

Dig into the Complaint 282

Handling the Compliant 284

Use Words Wisely 285

Why You Shouldn't Say "Why" 286

Good Advice but 287

You Can Change 289

Chapter 12 Leadership is a Choice 291

It's All About Choices 292

Experience Choice 294

Read All About It 295

Should Do, Must Do, Have To? 296

The Power of Choice 299

How To Bring More Choice Into Your Life 305

Genuine Leadership Comes From Within 307

You Can Change The World 310

Acknowledgements 313

Drama or Leadership Multi Rater Index 315

Leadership is a Choice® Seminars 319

KnoNow Learning Platform 323

Index 349

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