Say Bump and Take a Left.

Say Bump and Take a Left.

by Mary Kathryn Johnson

NOOK Book(eBook)

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Say Bump and Take a Left. by Mary Kathryn Johnson

Picture this: A woman with an 8 month pregnant baby hotel for a belly, a pink cast up to the knee on one leg and a blue cast on the other, using a walker to try to hop to the bathroom without peeing all over herself. If you can get that mental picture without laughing, you probably won't like this book. If you can relate to being 8 months pregnant, and can't imagine how you could go through labor and delivery, care for a newborn, toddler, husband and home all while hopping around with the help of a walker because you have 2 broken legs in casts, you might want to read this book, and discover the messy, funny, poignant story of my journey. Yes, I really did break both my legs when I was 8 months pregnant. Go ahead, laugh...I did (after I cried, that is).

A few excerpts:
Incontinence and a Walker (Chapter 2)
"If you can believe it, I actually lost weight in my eighth month of pregnancy. There were two good reasons for this:
I couldn't readily reach food whenever the mood or craving struck, and asking my husband to do my grazing for me was just sad.
Every time I did move, it was like I was attending water aerobics class minus the flowered swim caps and the water. My breath, like my dignity escaped me in gasps."

I'll Take Door Number 362, Please! (Chapter 5)
"Wonder Woman has nothin' on me!
I have an hourglass figure too!
Okay, my figure is less hourglass and more sandbags.
I have cool transportation too!
Okay, my walker isn't invisible, and moves a little slower than a plane.
I have a Super Hero husband who cleans toilets!

Product Details

BN ID: 2940013522206
Publisher: MommyLoves Publishing
Publication date: 11/21/2011
Sold by: Barnes & Noble
Format: NOOK Book
File size: 497 KB

About the Author

Mary lives in the Northern California Sierra-Nevada Foothills with her husband, two sons, two Aussies and a cats. Her days are filled with elementary school yard duty, writing, nurturing and wishing she could pursue all the dreams and inventions that seep into her mind. Hiking, skiing, reading and running with the pups (both human and canine) are her relaxation.

Mary wrote her first poem at age 8 entitled "This Tree Stands on the Hill", and fell in love with creativity and imagination. She learned to play the Cello at age 12, and equally enjoyed playing music by the Beatles and Bach (this love continues to the present day).

Mary's love of discovery prompted her mother to say that she would someday wear a lab coat, and this prophesy came true. Mary went on to receive a Bachelor of Science degree in Nutrition and Food Science from U.C. Berkeley , which led to a career in Nutrition and Weight Loss counseling. After a decade in the health field, she switched to Career Placement counseling. It was during this Career Placement foray that she hit the "Bump" that prompted her to "Take a Left" into self employment, and all things entrepreneurial. See for details on the resulting Left Turn into self employment.

Mary is currently working on a fictional novel inspired by one of the many worlds created by her husband Duane - the family story-teller.

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