ScreamFree Marriage: Calming Down, Growing Up, and Getting Closer

ScreamFree Marriage: Calming Down, Growing Up, and Getting Closer

by Hal Edward Runkel
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ScreamFree Marriage: Calming Down, Growing Up, and Getting Closer by Hal Edward Runkel

Through the best-selling ScreamFree Parenting, Hal Runkel showed thousands of parents how keeping their cool can revolutionize their family life. In his groundbreaking new book, ScreamFree Marriage, Runkel now shows couples how learning to stay calm, in the face of common marital conflicts, is the key to creating and enjoying a deep, lifelong connection.
Every committed couple strives to hold on to the marriage they envisioned back when they first said "I do"—before the end of the honeymoon phase, before kids, mortgages, health crises, and all life's inescapable issues. But the truth is this: conflict is unavoidable—it's impossible for two people to see every single thing, face every issue, and experience every situation in exactly the same way. What results are couples "screaming" at each other—sometimes literally yelling out loud, sometimes shutting themselves down and shutting their partners out, and sometimes avoiding the issue altogether—none of which leads to the passionate, intimate connection we all crave.
In ScreamFree Marriage, Hal introduces some radical new concepts about marriage, teaching couples how to embrace this inevitable conflict as a profound vehicle for strengthening a marriage. Rather than just a source of pain and disagreement, these "Fires of Commitment," as Hal describes them, can actually be the exact experience needed to grow couples into new levels of maturity and intimacy. By simply learning the ScreamFree formula of Calming Down, Growing Up, and Getting Closer, you too can cross through these fires and end up with a closer and more passionate marriage than ever before.  Using accessible anecdotes and the disarming humor that readers have come to love, Runkel disproves prevailing marital wisdom, puts couples on a path to "intimate independence" and reveals a whole new, fresh approach to marriage.

Product Details

ISBN-13: 9780767932776
Publisher: Potter/TenSpeed/Harmony
Publication date: 02/01/2011
Pages: 304
Product dimensions: 5.80(w) x 8.40(h) x 1.10(d)

About the Author

HAL RUNKEL is a licensed marriage and family therapist, relationship coach, and international speaker. He is founder and President of The ScreamFree Institute—a not-for-profit dedicated to calming the world, one relationship at a time. Hal's principles have already helped thousands of families revolutionize their relationships. He lives with his wife, Jenny, and their two children just outside Atlanta, Georgia.
JENNY RUNKEL is a writer, editor, and high-school English teacher. While deftly managing her classroom of juniors & seniors, she also manages and helps produce the content on, the online presence of The ScreamFree Institute. Her humorous, insightful words reach tens of thousands sets of eyes & ears every month, including those of her husband, Hal, and their two children.

Table of Contents

Preface: Hold On-This May Not Be the Marriage Book for You xiii

A Word about Structure and Authorship xix

Part 1 Calming Down, Growing Up, Getting Closer

Chapter 1 If You're Not Under Control, You Cannot Be In Connection 7

Chapter 2 It's Not What You Have in Common, It's What You Have Inside 33

Chapter 3 If You're Not Part of the Solution, You're Still Part of the Problem 55

Part 2 The Fires of Marital Commitment

Chapter 4 Time Belongs to No Man, Especially a Married One [The Fire of Time Accountability] 93

Chapter 5 In Order to Move in Together, You Have to Move Out on Your Own [The Fire of Extended Families] 116

Chapter 6 This Mess Is a Place! [The Fire of Household Management] 142

Chapter 7 A ScreamFree Marriage Leads to Scream-Filled Sex [The Fire of Sexuality] 173

Part 3 Getting Closer through Intimacy and Love

Chapter 8 Intimacy Always Begins with an "I" 203

Chapter 9 Let Love Rule 221

Conclusion: Reason for Hope 240

Appendix A There's More Than One Way to Scream... 249

Appendix B Should I Stay or Should I Go? 261

For Further Reading...and Growing 269

Acknowledgments 271

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ScreamFree Marriage: Calming Down, Growing Up, and Getting Closer 4.5 out of 5 based on 0 ratings. 10 reviews.
OliviaKathleen More than 1 year ago
I loved the book ScreamFree Parenting, but was initially skeptical of this book. I thought that as a person with a very happy marriage, this book might not have as much to offer me, but I was very pleasantly surprised. The information offered in this book can immediately improve any marriage, I believe. I was immediately able to see my own behavior towards my spouse in a much finer, meaningful way and realized that my marriage could go from great to awesome if I applied this material. The book follows the same writing style as ScreamFree Parenting and the same concepts of "ScreamFree Principles" so readers who have read the Parenting version will find it familiar. It also has a new section called a "Lab" in which you can "test" your ability to apply the concepts in real-like scenarios that are presented in the book. I'm very happy I picked it up and would recommend it to just about anybody!
Marriedfor15 More than 1 year ago
I am not a screamer in my marriage, so I wasn't sure how I'd respond to this book. As the author states, though, not everyone screams with a loud voice. Some people use the silent treatment, and that's really just another way of being emotionally reactive. That said, this book was very helpful in learning how to evaluate conflicts and see my own part in the pattern. Runkel's style is conversational and humorous and keeps the book from being too heavy. His stories are entertaining, the principles are well-grounded, and the take away can be life-changing. I highly recommend it!
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allie87t More than 1 year ago
This book allows you to really get into the adult you with easy steps. If u are have troubles with any relationship.
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