Screw the Roses, Send Me the Thorns: The Romance and Sexual Sorcery of Sadomasochism

Screw the Roses, Send Me the Thorns: The Romance and Sexual Sorcery of Sadomasochism


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A bestseller, and for good reason!

This book will tell you all about sadomasochism. We made it light-hearted and fun to read because SM is fun to do. That's why we do it. But fun is only SM's overture; for those who grasp its message, SM is sexual magic. The right blend of trust, fantasy, and sensuality creates an intensely erotic and deeply intimate stew. We take away our lovers' freedom and lead them to profound liberty. We peer into the dark together, transforming it to light.

In these pages you will find clear explanations for the curious, and solid advice, safety measures and steamy suggestions for the adventurous. Also included are: over 225 photographs and illustrations, designs for making your own SM equipment, over 9000 entries of SM clothing and equipment vendors, publications, and organizations, bondage, flogging and bullwhip tutorials, an extensive, 15 page glossary, Foreword by Dr. William Granzig, President of The American Board of Sexology.

Allow us to guide you through the captivating realms of sensuality, dreamed of by millions, realized by few, and understood by fewer still.

Product Details

ISBN-13: 9780964596009
Publisher: Mystic Rose Books
Publication date: 07/28/1995
Pages: 277
Sales rank: 189,485
Product dimensions: 7.88(w) x 11.06(h) x 0.52(d)

Table of Contents

The Color of a Roseii
1Gee, Toto, I Don't Think We Are In Kansas Anymore!1
Your hosts, Molly and Philip2
About this book2
What sadomasochism is4
What sadomasochism is not6
Scenespeak, learning the lingo7
Dominance and submission9
Bondage and discipline9
The who's who of SM10
Natural submissives and dominants12
Tops and bottoms13
Professional female dominants15
Sub-Chapter XY - Gender and sexual orientation15
Pronoun, pronoun, who's got the pronoun?16
The gay SM scene16
Simple starts, safe starts16
2Sexual Magic Why We Do Do That Voodoo18
Trust and communication24
Learning the body you want to bludgeon26
The mind as an erogenous zone27
Conditioning -- Three ways to Skinner a pussy28
Visualization -- Scheherazade goes dom29
Sensory relocation31
Dominance and submission31
3The Politics of Very Strange Bedfellows Sensible SM Relationships and Dangerous Liaisons34
Steering your love-boat into the rapids34
With 31 flavors available, why serve only vanilla?36
Catching a live one37
The Law of supply and demand38
What to look for40
Looking for Mr. Good-dom40
Seeking suitable submissives41
The hunt42
Organizations & support groups42
Public clubs42
Magazine and newspaper ads43
Kink goes electronic43
Would-bes, Wannabes, and other forgettable characters45
The downside of the subside47
Safety suggestions for meeting through ads or BBS's48
Mistress Manners49
4"You Want To Worship My What???" Negotiation and Relationships51
The Ideal Dominant53
The Ideal Submissive54
Negotiating sex in SM55
Levels of dominant and submissive power exchange56
Level 1Conditional Compliance57
Level 2Restricted Ongoing Acquiescence57
Level 3Provisional Submission58
Level 4The Covenant of Dominance and Submission58
Level 5Absolute Ownership59
Ownership and Lifestylers59
The three biggest lies61
Abusive relationships62
Limits - The lines never to be crossed63
Safe words64
Contracts and agreements65
Sample contract of submission66
Negotiation Questionnaire66
5Straight Facts and Bent Phalluses Sexual Attitudes69
No goals, no roles71
Philip's Tree House: !!!No Girls Allowed!!!71
A word about approach73
Sign language73
Rediscovering the joys of the flesh74
Molly's notes from the quilting bee75
Busting barriers77
6Non-Government Sanctioned Sex and Torture78
Clips, clamps, and clothespins78
Fire and ice80
The cutting edge82
Anal play, general considerations83
Anal sex84
Anal training and object stimulation85
Self-training for anal play86
Feeding the pussy syntho-meat88
Forced sex (never say never)90
Smoke and Mirrors90
7Get Them By the Balls; Their Hearts and Minds Will Follow Bondage Theory93
First, you need a plan95
Bondage safety95
Ten rules to be bound by96
Anatomy for safer bondage99
Emergency quick release100
Novice bondage101
The first session101
The second session103
The tournament of wills104
The third and all the rest of your sessions106
8Of Humane Bondage Bondage Techniques107
Bonds that tie107
Finishing the rope108
Releasing your victim112
A simple wrist bondage113
Crossed ankle bondage114
Breast bondage115
Oriental rope dress116
Rope alternatives119
Plastic wrap bondage120
Wrist and ankle cuffs121
Bondage harness and collars123
A cloth gaggage primer126
Hoods and sensory deprivation128
Specialty items129
Simple solutions for attachments130
9Philip's Philosophy of Phlogging Phun The Corporal Dimension132
Beginning a session133
Bondage and Whipping135
Ending a scene137
Kneeling before the lash137
Philip's ten commandments of flagellation138
I.Thou shalt never strike thine submissive in anger139
II.Thou shalt not damage thine sub. Knoweth the difference between hurt and harm139
Reading the submissives's butt after a scene - a chart141
III.Thine sub and thee shalt negotiate thoroughly and each shall respecteth the limits of the other142
IV.Learneth well the anatomy of thine targets142
V.Thou shalt abide by SM safety rules and practices143
VI.Knoweth intimately the feel, range, and effect of each of thine implements of destruction. It is better for all to receive before one gives143
How does it feel?143
Orchestrating your percussion144
VII.Thou shalt develop proper stance and technique145
VIII.Seeketh an expert's advice, training, and counsel for the weapons you would master145
IX.Thou shalt Practice! Practice! Practice! and use upon a fanny only those toys with which thou art an expert145
X.Never stop watching! Focus is next to godliness145
10When the Inner Child Deserves a Spanking Philip's (and Phriend's) Phurther Pheelings on Phlogging146
Preparing the skin for a beating146
Where to hit - a chart148
The warm up150
Warming up for a heavy scene150
Face slapping153
Caning and cropping153
Flogger or cat?155
How to practice whipping155
Let this be a lesson to ya: A tutorial on using the cat-style whip, or flogger156
The strokes156
Forehand overhead stroke157
Backhand overhead stroke160
Figure-eight Stroke160
Tips and traps160
The single-lash whip162
Bullwhips are not only at home on the range162
11It's Only Pain, Dear, and It's Only Yours Why Take A Long Road To Enlightenment, When You Can Haul Ass On A Super Highway?168
Flying: "ground control to Master Tom"171
The maiden voyage of rocket Molly176
Endorphin highs and other vacation spots177
Reprise; tops, bottoms and switches181
"Ouch... Mmmmmmmmmmmm!" Experiencing pain as pleasure181
12Making the Upper Cheeks Red Embarrassment, Humiliation and the Mind Fuck184
Politically incorrect but emotionally valid190
Verbal abuse191
Mindfuck, not mental rape193
Public play194
Sexual denial, the ultimate weapon197
Emotional growth through SM199
Has anyone seen my self-esteem? - A search for myself199
13Furnishing Your Dungeon201
Where to play while the castle is being repainted201
Life with children202
Hanging slaves and other decorative touches203
Recycling Aunt Sophie's ottoman, or, why buy a rack with a perfectly good workbench in the basement?204
A dungeon tour204
Just for the dungeon210
The torture group212
The bondage group213
The sex-toy group214
The hitting group215
Where to get your goodies218
Found objects219
Traveling with toys220
Making your own toys221
Leather tips221
Appendix ASM Support Groups and Organizations241
Appendix BStores, Suppliers, and Artisans252
Appendix CComputer Bulletin Boards268
Appendix DSM and Fetish Magazines269
Appendix ERecommended Reading271
Appendix FNLA Statement On Domestic Violence273

Customer Reviews

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Screw the Roses, Send Me the Thorns 4.4 out of 5 based on 0 ratings. 17 reviews.
Guest More than 1 year ago
When I first entered into the lifestyle I was a little apprehensive, but my Dom recommended this book and it was a great help. Even now when I read it, I still seem to learn something new..the book is GREAT!!!! Its a definate MUST HAVE for those who live the lifestyle full-time as I do and those who like to add a little more to their sex life. :)
Guest More than 1 year ago
I can not say it enough... this book is the ultimate newbie guide to the BDSM lifestyle,weather a Top or bottom. It explains many things from the definitions of roles, contracts, and most importantly.. how the mental aspect is just as important as the physical .
Guest More than 1 year ago
For those in the lifestyle this book is a must have for beginners and advanced members alike. The book is informational and entertaining unlike many books that are out there. Remember Safe Sane and Consenual...Lets play safe
Guest More than 1 year ago
when i first began my journey into this other world i bought the book, after reading and rereading it opened my eyes to a lifestyle i was born to live. AWESOME book and a must read for all
Guest More than 1 year ago
A must have for all Doms and subs alike. Miller and Devon's style of writing was so entertaining i actually passed the book onto my mother! She loved it and it helped her to better understand and finally accept my lifestyle.
Guest More than 1 year ago
This book greatly illustrates what fun things you can do to spice up your sex life. It's cute and funny drawings make you laugh and the advice make you cry, literally...!!!Whether you are into advanced S&M or just into love bites this book will rock your love life and YOUR WORLD!
Guest More than 1 year ago
very informative. well written and easy to follow. Makes even the most embarrassing things to talk about seem easy. full of laughter as well and puts you at total ease and comfort reading. a book that even a person with no understanding of the subject could grasp and understand easily. love mine and read it over and over again.
Guest More than 1 year ago
A really friendly book, whether you're a novice or Pro. Informative without being encyclopedic. Philip and molly really bring you into the S&M world without making you intimidated. :)
Guest More than 1 year ago
There is so much misinformation out there about SM that it just makes me sick. This is especially true of fiction. Therefore I'm especailly glad that Screw The Roses is in print. This is one of the most realistic, useful books out there and I recommend it all the time. It is very well illustrated, the authors clearly know their stuff, and it is light and easy to read with a lot of humor in it. The only suggestion I would make is that you see if your local Barnes and Noble carries this book on it's shelves. Its very important that accurate information be as widely available as possible because the inaccurate information sure is.
haiku.tx on LibraryThing More than 1 year ago
Basic BDSM 101, this book was handed to me when I first inquired about kink to a friend in the know. I'm so very very glad it was the first book I read. I recommend it to everyone as their first Lifestyle read; whether top, bottom, dom, sub, master, slave, switch, or undecided...or if you love someone who identifies by any of those labels. A little bit of everything from a couple who know, with an impressive appendix, this one will get you started on the right track, wherever you choose to travel down the rabbit hole.
Arctic-Stranger on LibraryThing More than 1 year ago
If you are looking for a "how-to" book on s&m, this is your best bet.
Heather19 on LibraryThing More than 1 year ago
While a good introduction on the surface, this book is pretty basic and doesn't go into detail as much as I would like. There are many, many pictures, which for some may be a plus but for me just takes away from the informational parts.
ndbecks on LibraryThing More than 1 year ago
Interesting introduction to the sport. ;)(Perhaps a bit less informative than I might have liked.)
noir_girl on LibraryThing More than 1 year ago
It's a great intro to kink book for heterosexual people, ideally male doms or female subs. Not as great for those who don't fit into those groups, but still decent.
Mastersir on LibraryThing More than 1 year ago
This is an introduction to bondage and discipline for neophytes. As authors and practitioners, Miller and Devon provide the Dom/sub perspectives in an alternating light and serious discussion. In short, pithy paragraphs within 13 chapters, organization is progressive. The authors begin with a rudimentary explanation, overview and examination of the psychology of bondage and discipline, then a strong emphasis on finding and maintaining relationships, followed by several chapters on descriptions and admonitions on an extended variety of activities, "the eroticism of pain and humiliation," and a last chapter guide to "toys" and dungeons. Appendices provide information on support groups and organizations, Websites and stores, suggested periodicals and readings and a concluding statement on domestic violence from the National Leather Association. Access to the text is well supported by descriptive Table of Contents, a glossary and a very good index.This title is on kinky sex only to the extent that such activities are included in b&d. And, how could it not be? But, it should not be approached as a book simply on sexual activities. Perhaps, a look at sensual activities is closer to the authors' intent.Photos and drawings are tasteful, pertinent and located exactly where they are needed. The photographs are in black and white. Reproduction is good enough to get an idea "what it is" or "what's going on." Most of the time. At 8 1/2" x 11" the book is printed in clear and very readable type.With the deep penetration of the Internet, much of what is included in the book can be found on the Web. To find it all in one place, so well presented and with a thoughtful balance might still be beyond the capacity of a BDSM Wikipedia. Miller and Devon might consider a 2nd edition.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Anonymous More than 1 year ago